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  1. #1
    TheAbbot's Avatar
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    Question How Do You Deal With Online Competition?

    Hey guys


    Was Thinking about a scenario that im currently in. A couple of months ago, i joined a website (forum dedicated to music) and came across this girl who i found attractive. Well for the last month or so we have been talking through private messages, one thing i discovered right off the back is that we have so much in common from movies to actually liking the same movies (energy mesh if you will). One thing i would like to let people know is she told me in a serious private message that she was going through bouts of breast cancer....Im not a shallow guy and i told her that im there for her. since then, it been stressful for one she like a HB9 so she gets hit on constantly.

    I ask her her view of me (maybe i shouldnt have) and she told me how she thought i was sweet and romantic. I ask her if i ever came to her area could i fix her a romantic dinner, she said yes. (this was 2 days ago)

    Guys her is the thing sometimes i she her PMs when i think she is online and at times it seems that i get ignore.

    i may send her a PM 3 times out the week, you think thats to much?

    i understand she going through something and i should be patient , but in all honesty i dont know what procedure to take.

    also guys flirt with her openly and sometimes she'll flirt back depends on her mood. Im not really upset about this because women on this site actually sent me messages asking me certain things and showing interested

    should i tell her about this or should i just leave well enough alone.

    any tips?

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How Do You Deal With Online Competition?

    Asking her what she thinks about you is a very AFC thing to do. Never ask for HER approval or validation.

    "I will be there for you" is also a very AFC statement to make. You have never met this girl. You will get friend zoned so fast (if you haven't had that done already) that it will make your head spin

    Do you initiate the conversations or does she?

    Never let the competition bother you. Control what you can and that's your actions.

  3. #3
    TheAbbot's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Do You Deal With Online Competition?

    Quote Originally Posted by dave_xxx View Post
    Asking her what she thinks about you is a very AFC thing to do. Never ask for HER approval or validation.

    "I will be there for you" is also a very AFC statement to make. You have never met this girl. You will get friend zoned so fast (if you haven't had that done already) that it will make your head spin

    Do you initiate the conversations or does she?

    Never let the competition bother you. Control what you can and that's your actions.
    what am i suppose to say when a women tells me she has something serious like breast cancer? also as far as the conversations things go its a little bit of both...sometimes we dont speak to one another at all

  4. #4
    dave_xxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Do You Deal With Online Competition?

    Ask her, "What kind of treatment she is going through and how often? Chemo?"

    Ask her, " What are the symptoms from the treatment and how are you dealing with them?"

    You can be respectful without being an AFC.

    Who initiates most of your conversations?

  5. #5
    TheAbbot's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Do You Deal With Online Competition?

    Quote Originally Posted by dave_xxx View Post
    Ask her, "What kind of treatment she is going through and how often? Chemo?"

    Ask her, " What are the symptoms from the treatment and how are you dealing with them?"


    You can be respectful without being an AFC.

    Who initiates most of your conversations?
    i have done this. Conversation wise sometimes it me and then sometime it her. lately it been me though.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How Do You Deal With Online Competition?

    You may still have a chance. Keep in mind her investment in you is really low right now. To her you're just a guy she talks to online. I think regular online dating game still applies here. I would ask for her number before asking for the date. This will give you an idea what her level of interest is. A lot of woman like to chat with dudes online just because they are bored and want attention. If she won't give you her number at this point...I'd move on, it's probably not worth the effort.

    Even online, you have to escalate things. Get her phone number or at the very least her Facebook. Online->Phone\text->Date. Spending too much time chatting online is just going to turn you into her 'online chat buddy'. You want to separate yourself from that website as quick as possible.

    Say something like: "Hey, this online message tag is kind of weird, lets chat like normal people. Do you have Facebook?"

    As for the competition, Dave is right, don't worry about it. There is always going to be competition wherever you meet women. Especially when dealing with attractive women.


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