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  1. #11
    elizabeth412 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Some Male Advice Is Needed Here, Please!

    Well, now things are very different. Oddly enough, I had not heard from him since Thursday to give me a status on tickets, sales if any, etc. I didn't even hear from him this morning, and my radar was on. I got a call around noon inquiring about four tickets and a price negotiation, so I had to call him. He was chilly on the phone, I could tell, from just the way he greeted me and when I asked him how he was, he simply replied, "Fine." I knew something was amiss but went on with my prospect details. He said he would take a certain amount, so I called back the prospect and it was a done deal. I gave him my guy's phone number because he was in the same area. I never heard back from my guy, which was unusual, because he normally calls to let me know how everything went. I ended up calling the customer instead and found out everything went fine. Then I got another call for two tickets from someone willing to pay top dollar without negotations, but I needed to check to see if there were any more tickets from my guy. It was during that conversation that I was told there was only one ticket for sale, that everything went fine with the sale, and that he could pame my commission TOMORROW. I said, "Tomorrow?" He said he was invited to watch the game with a buddy of his down in Miami and wouldn't be home until late. Nothing about being sorry about cancelling my invitation or anything. (When was he going to tell me that???) He was very matter-of-fact and blase - too much so. I said I would see him first thing in the morning, and he said he would call me. Moments later, I called back after confirming that the guy who called earlier did not want a single ticket and left a bit of a snippy message on my guy's voicemail, indicating sarcastically, "What a surprise! I got your voicemail." Then I simply informed him what the guy had said and that I was "...touching base, because that's what I do. I touch base."

    Then he calls me repeatedly moments later when I was on the phone and left a message, which he has said before he never does. He said I was rude for hanging up on him, and that he sacrificed a full price sale for four tickets shortly after he accepted my guy's offer in order to honor me and give me a commission, etc. He said that we never even spoke about the commission structure for this deal, and if anyone should be upset, it was him. (I had questioned him about what my commission would be during our earlier conversation and was surprised but not upset.)

    I called him back and told him I did not hang up on him and that I thought he hung up on me. We went back and forth on that, then I told him that I was taking the heat for a potential sale he got AFTER he agreed to take mine, and that he didn't have to accept it. He said he was trying to be generous, etc. I said there was no way to know what would happen afterwards; my sale was then and there. He could have ended up with all four tickets at the end of the day. I then brought up the fact that I appreciated that he had other plans but made no effort to inform me earlier -- utter disregard on his part. He argued about that and said he was intending to tell me later when everything was sold and straightened out this afternoon. It was after 3:00 p.m. when I found out because I called him. When was he going to let me know??? Anyway, I ended the conversation quietly by saying I would speak to him tomorrow morning.

    Obviously, he is not interested now, and that is what hurt the most out of everything. My radar was right earlier. I am very upset about the disregard on so many levels. The kicking me out the other night was telltale, despite the invitation that followed.

  2. #12
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Some Male Advice Is Needed Here, Please!

    Don't mix business and pleasure, it's never a good idea to have financial hang-ups interfering with dating.

    I don't really get what is going on with tickets and what not but that's not really the issue.

    The snippy voicemail and phone calling was a bad move. Always try to keep interactions positive and don't communicate when angry or upset. It comes across as needy.

    From his perspective I imagine he wanted to get the tickets and all the hassle out of the way before organising a different meet up with you.

  3. #13
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Some Male Advice Is Needed Here, Please!

    From his perspective I imagine he wanted to get the tickets and all the hassle out of the way before organising a different meet up with you.
    he already told her to come around to watch the game (tonight) probs yesterday and never got back to her, this guy either doesn't give a fqck about you or he was extremely busy to give you the details, either or i wouldn't want a chick like that, i'm always told, if you don't have time, create time -_-

  4. #14
    elizabeth412 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Some Male Advice Is Needed Here, Please!

    Hi.

    I'm surprised you only address my snippy voicemail instead of his overt disregard about letting me know that the invitation for last night was off until it came up in conversation about 3:00 p.m. when we were talking about when I would receive my commission. Also, he was short on the phone with me during the first conversation yesterday, signalling that something was amiss to me.

  5. #15
    elizabeth412 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Some Male Advice Is Needed Here, Please!

    Yes, I agree that it was utter disregard yesterday and not just being busy. During the first conversation we had yesterday was opportunity for him to say plans had changed for that night. He didn't want to address it -- for whatever reason. That's all he would have had to say.

  6. #16
    elizabeth412 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Some Male Advice Is Needed Here, Please!

    I called him this morning, and we arranged to meet for my commission payment at a public place. It lasted about 10 seconds; we greeted each other, he gave me the money, I thanked him, he said, "You're welcome," and we both turned in opposite directions and walked away.

    I guess what I am trying to get out of this situation is what happened in the last few days for him to ignore me and suddenly be so callous and nonchalant, proclaiming that I was rude for supposedly hanging up (which I didn't) and for not answering his calls yesterday afternoon while I was either driving or on another line.

    Everyone agrees that he could not possibly be interested anymore, right? I am just a bit taken aback after such a long time knowing him and going through so many ups and downs and not being able to figure him out. I guess, admittedly, there were times when I wasn't able to be figured out accurately either. Every action causes a reaction...

  7. #17
    gh0stfac3 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Some Male Advice Is Needed Here, Please!

    it sounds like theres some things being unsaid which he may be nervous about touching on. you say hes savvy with women, however I think everyone has certain times/situation where they have a hard time getting something off their chest. being that you've said you've known him for a bit (2 years) and things have gone from just friends to a bit more, back and forth. I dont think hes going to leave town (if you catch my drift) I'd back off a bit to get him to chase you some, and to let any (stress lack of there of) bad taste about this ticket deal outa his mouth. If he really cares about you or has a thing about you, any bad taste about the tickets will blow over in a short time( 2-3 weeks maybe) its not like you were trying to rob him, just a mis understanding it sounds like. also about him neglecting to make mention of the change in plans, i would kinda be a lil ticked about it too. one time is forgiveable but your time is valuable as you are a high value person. but i wouldnt have mentioned it to him and it shows neediness. I cant remember if you said you outwardly mentioned it to him , but if he brought it up to me about being sorry about it eventually i would play it off, something to the tone of " ooo I totally forgot until you said that" you dont want it to seem like in your weekly calendar you have only one appointment. remember you are a high value person with a full busy life.

    So all in all, what I would do is..
    -Ease off for a bit, dont ignore him ( as this give validation and indicates you are mad about something) but dhv yourself. you are a busy person with a life and as far as your're concerned this was a misunderstanding. If hes into you ( and saavy with women) he will touch base again and things will go from there.
    -If he seems to be distant or you dont hear anything from him , i would perhaps try to make plans in the same manner as you would have in the past since you were friends before. But give him a chance to chase you!!!! IMO the ball is in his court after being a bit flakey
    -Most importantly of all , dont get one-itis

  8. #18
    elizabeth412 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Some Male Advice Is Needed Here, Please!

    Hm. Some things being unsaid by him? His actions (and his words) seem to be coming in loud and clear that he wants nothing to do with me by being very dismissive and disregarding me.

    You mentioned I should back off to let him chase me; that has always been the case! I err probably too much in the passive role; I don't flirt enough and really want the guy to make the overtures. I only called him when there was a business question and did that as infrequently as possible.

    Given our heated arguments yesterday and the limited contact today, I am not sure what the status is about my being involved in the ticket sales. There is almost a week in which none of us will be concerned with it, because the games are away for the next three, but I am not sure he wants me working with him, and vice versa at this point. Nothing was said about that, but he probably thinks I think he's a jackass; I think he thinks I'm a bitch!

  9. #19
    elizabeth412 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Some Male Advice Is Needed Here, Please!

    There's now an update to the story. Late Tuesday I got a couple of inquiries about tickets from people who had been in touch with me about previous games. Not knowing anything about pricing or availability of the tickets for Tuesday's game because of my rift with J for a week, I had to call him to see. I told him about my inquiries and that I was just checking on the status. He told me he only had one seat left but all seven would be available for Thursday's game, if playing it was necessary in the finals. I took that as a go for me, since neither of us felt comfortable broaching the subject of my continuing all this time. With that and finding out the seventh game was necessary, I posted ads this morning and got lots of responses, requiring several conversations with J, which were casual and all business, as they needed to be, since both of us were getting other calls left and right. I ended up selling three tickets, and his handling of this one sale was markedly different from last week's. He voluntarily told me up front what my commission would be before I called the prospect back, and when everything was squared, he called to let me know and congratulated me. We chatted for a few moments, but I still don't know when I will receive my commission. There's actually a partial payment being made tomorrow after today's deposit to secure the tickets, as my prospect is from out of town. Anyway, barring any unforeseen circumstances, everything will be settled tomorrow.

    He called yesterday afternoon after his meeting with my customer to finish the closing of the deal, and he told me he was alone, and I could pick up my commission from him anytime between then and game time. No, I don't know why he announced he was alone. Odd... (A lot different from last week's commission handling.) I told him I was en route to a cocktail party and would be there between 7:00 and 7:30. I was running late as the time grew closer and called him to say so, and he told me he was at a friend's house in the complex, and he gave me directions to that corner. He met me at the corner, and we chatted for a few minutes, then he deposited the cash in my hand, and we said our mutual thank-yous. (The neighbors he was visiting were congregating on the porch on the opposite side of the street.) Lots of smiles and looks between the two of us, but no invitation on either side. It's still awkward because of last week, and I suppose neither one of us is comfortable yet to take any major strides. He did mention he was going to hang out there for a while and then go back and watch the game. He didn't ask what I was going to do, and I didn't volunteer anything. Although I didn't expect to see it, there were some sparks in the smiles between us and some chemistry there, but sitting in my running car on a street corner had its limitations! Anyway, I guess now that this phase of our friendship is over, we'll have to see what happens from here. Hm-m...


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