Here's the situation. I discovered that my gf used to be a high class escort. According to her, she stopped doing it when we started dating, when she started falling for me. She got another job, and since she is living in an expensive apartment in the nicest part of town, she signed the lease for a new, way cheaper place and is moving next month. But over the course of the last few months, she went completely broke and started borrowing from people in order to stay afloat. She has been in debt for a while and the people she owes money to are asking for it back. Her fridge has been constantly empty.
Finally, she decided to go back "to work", and coincidentally on the same day she was supposed to start again, I discovered her profile on my city's classiest escorting website. The way I discovered this is complicated, but long story short, it was a suspicion I'd had about her for a long time, which I'd kept writing off as me being crazy until she told me she'd be starting a second job and that her nightly schedule was about to change.
I had her come over to my place the instant I found out, and confronted her. A fight ensued. The situation being farked up as it is, I felt like I was in some kind of ridiculous melodramatic b-rated movie. Turns out that when she got into it (about a year and half ago), she was homeless, young, naive, estranged from her parents who don't have the means to help her anyway, and felt like she had no other options to survive. Since she started, she's been in a constant battle trying to stop and get out of it. She was constantly anxious about it to the point of losing her hair. Even her boss tried to convince her to stop. Her boss had to leave town for a while shortly after we started dating, so she didn't get any more business with the agency.
This coincides with her story of stopping because she fell for me and now I'm not sure which is true. She could still have continued and found another agency or struck out independently; however, I don't think she did it wouldn't be congruent with the money problems she started to have while our relationship developed. And our relationship did develop. It became something great, something neither of us had ever experienced before. She began talking about marriage, kids, etc. and how she had never felt anything remotely close to how she feels about me.
Which leaves me here. It looks like she has been trying to make the changes necessary for a life with me, but her problems simply caught up with her. After the confrontation, she has taken herself off the site and cut all of her ties with "the industry". But none of this excuses the fact that she lied about her escorting to me for 7 months, as well as the fact that she couldn't come to me, her supposed future life partner, with her problems.
We've been talking. I'm trying to forgive her, but it's hard. I've since slept with her, which was very raw and emotional before and after, but I simply couldn't return her words of love and affection. My question now is how I can best get over this and forgive her without giving her the subconscious idea that her actions were okay, and that each time she farks up in the future, all she has to do is shower me with affection until she wins me back. At this point, I don't even know if I can do this and love her again, but I do want to find out.