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Thread: I want her but she has a boyfriend!

  1. #1
    Avenger08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I want her but she has a boyfriend!

    Hey guy's just looking for some advice and guidance here. There's this ex girl of mine. She has told me that she wanted to look at getting back together and that she missed me and that she wasn't happy with out me. So we started talking and what not, but then I guess she wanted another fling, well at least that's what I am hoping. I missed her too and I would like to see what could be.

    We had a little bit of an argument when she started to date this guy because I asked her straight up "Why would you tell me you wanted to work on us and then go and start dating this other guy?" all she could say was " I don't know he just grew on me" or something a long those lines I was just too pissed off to really listen. It's been two days now and what I find weird is she still hasn't even changed her Facebook status to in a relationship usually that's the first thing she changes.

    I have been looking around and reading up on ways to win her back over.. for example, like just showing her all the fun she could have been involved in ( i know she reads my fb so I thought I would post things like "Had a great time at _____ with ____ and ____" stuff like that and pictures with me having fun and with other ladies).

    I want to be able to still text and talk, maybe even take her out places (as friends) and like show her what she's missing.

    So for starters my questions would be... Has anyone been in my shoes? How did you put your feelings of seeing the girl you'd like to be with, with someone else and know that shes going home to someone else? Also anyone know some ways to get her wanting me more and more that they have tried and gotten results?

  2. #2
    HunterKiller is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I want her but she has a boyfriend!

    Wait wait wait- so you want to be able to go out with fun ladies, but you don't want her to go out with this guy. Hmmm.
    The truth is this: She's an adult and nobody owns her but her. No one is entitled to her, and if you can go out and have fun with whoever you want, she can go out and have fun with whoever she wants.

    That said:

    What you want to do to get rid of the boyfriend- check it I just picked this up today- is really hype him up. Not like Superman or some sh1t but y'know when she says she likes something about him, ask her what it is about that she likes. Find out what her ideal of what she wishes he would be is and reinforce that ideal; 'cos odds are, unless he is Superman #andidoubtit
    a) he's not going to be able to live up to her expectations and will ultimately let her down and
    b) you get to find out what she's looking for without any of the red tape.

    Good luck!
    you are a soul playing a game of human
    might as well unlock all the secret areas

  3. #3
    Avenger08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I want her but she has a boyfriend!

    I know she's allowed to see whoever she wants, but like I want to get her thinking, "maybe I didn't make the right choice and that could be me with him doing all those things"

    How can I strike up conversation again without her thinking I'm just trying to break them up and get her sympathy.

  4. #4
    HunterKiller is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I want her but she has a boyfriend!

    I dunno just talk about shit. Be real. Ask her questions about her life and stuff. If she brings up stuff about her boyfriend, talk him up like you were his wingman. You'll slip under her radar (unless you're being heat about it), and all you have to do is wait for him to disappoint her (now very high) expectations.
    you are a soul playing a game of human
    might as well unlock all the secret areas

  5. #5
    Avenger08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I want her but she has a boyfriend!

    I sent her a text saying "hey, how's it going?" She replied with "ok I guess" and it went from there for a little bit then I asked her if something was wrong and she said no she was just busy (so she was busy but still made time to talk to me which is a good sign right?"

    Then I closed with "alright sorry for disturbing you, text me when you free and we can talk some more... You got my number " she replied with "for sure "

  6. #6
    HunterKiller is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I want her but she has a boyfriend!

    Not bad. It is a good sign that she took a bit of time out for you. Building low-stress low-obligation interactions seems like a good idea here.
    Never apologize for something unless you've really fucked up. Next time you could try ending it with "I'll try again sometime"- that way you're not left waiting for her to text you. (I'd give it a few days to a week before you take another shot)
    you are a soul playing a game of human
    might as well unlock all the secret areas

  7. #7
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    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I want her but she has a boyfriend!

    I agree that you should never apologize for texting... Wait it out a little. Bring up casual conversations but also be funny. If ur that fun guy who I texting her, she'll smile when he sees your name pop up on her phone... That giddy silly smile girls do.

    I like the whole build him up thing but it may be tricky cause u can't look like u r hiding something up ur sleeve (in which you are)... So be nonchalant about it and it does sound like it can work. But don't go bout it by demonstrating urself as lower than him and don't go bragging about how ur better either. You just have to find that happy middle... Remember this... U have something to ur advantage... And that's history, time with her, and memories

  8. #8
    Avenger08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I want her but she has a boyfriend!

    I also have the ability to take her on trips that she loves as my competitor only uses public transportation and not to brag but has no job. I didn't say sorry as like please don't hate me. I said it in a joking way with a face

  9. #9
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I want her but she has a boyfriend!

    Then I closed with "alright sorry for disturbing you, text me when you free and we can talk some more...
    weakkkk, seriously why apologise if she's being cold initially, if you were disturbing her she wouldn't have replied to your text, if she was busy she wouldn't have also replied to your text - well she could've told you to fqck off get the point?

    Remember this... U have something to ur advantage... And that's history, time with her, and memories
    and the reason why they broke up which weighs the same as all this

  10. #10
    Avenger08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I want her but she has a boyfriend!

    The reasons we broke up the first time was because she got freaked out as it was getting serious and turning into a serious relationship.


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