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Thread: T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

  1. #1
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Exclamation T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

    EVERY girl on EVERY dating site gets bombarded with messages by hundreds of guys... Especially the really hot girls.
    And the guys who are able to get them to reply at all, have to be prepared for a lot of tests that most likely will be thrown their way.

    I'm putting together a new book that will be available sometime in the near future... but I wanted to share one little segment with you now.

    *A little background info-

    I'm getting close to turning 43 yrs old..... and THIS girl is 31 & Definitely a solid 9!

    I decided to message her for research purposes (knowing I'm almost 12 years older than she is) Because I'm sick of hearing guys complain about being too old to get really hot, younger women!
    (Stop putting those types of limiting beliefs on yourself!!!)

    Here is the message exchange I had with her:
    (Pay attention to the several sh!t tests she throws at me, right from the beginning. Most of them are little ones, but she did drop a MAJOR one during the interaction....)

    My Message:
    Hey There nerd-ball… ;-)
    So, I'm reading your profile & you sound like a super-normal, regular, next door neighbor
    sort of woman.
    However; your pictures capture an unmentioned quality about you...

    Something in your eyes gives away the fact that you're a bit spunky/sassy. There's a more
    upbeat, playful, adventurous side that you didn't describe, but it's totally noticeable.
    (Just sayin')



    By the way, I'm Mark.
    I hope you're having a fantabulous Wednesday.

    Her Reply:
    Mark,
    I know not of this "spunk/sass" you speak of... My day is pretty enjoyable, considering the goofs I work with.
    Lisa


    My Follow-up Message:
    Ohhhh, deny it all you want, but I'm not buyin' it.


    I'm thinking you're probably "queen goof" & have been known to play some pranks from time to time.
    Again, it's all assumption but I have a feeling you're quite experienced in that aspect.

    Anyway, I'm sure you're supposed to be "working" so you should probably quit messing around & get back to it.


    Her Reply: (*MAJOR Sh!t test!!)
    I walk around and point a lot. It's not that taxing. What kind of freaky weird business are you in anyway? Selling plastic vomit and novelties? It's either that or sex trafficking.

    I do play pranks, A LOT. My favorite is just the classic sneaking up and scaring people. Because of that, I enjoy jumpy friends.

    My Follow-up Message:
    Oh yes, jumpy friends are always a great source of entertainment. I applaud your efforts.

    Hmmmm....
    "Sex trafficking" is such a harsh term don'tcha think?
    I prefer to call it "People Moving". It has a much nicer ring.

    Besides, my choices were THAT, or being a freelance mortician; and believe me... it isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds. (It's such a dead-end job too)

    Her Reply:
    I kinda halfway sorta dated a guy once that removed dead bodies from the scene of their death. I thought it was so freaking interesting, but he didn't like talking about it. Kind of like 'Nam I guess. Makes my job sound incredibly boring.


    My Follow up:
    "Kinda sorta halfway dated"....
    I'm sure he'd be THRILLED to hear it put like that. LOL!

    I would have to agree, walking around & pointing doesn't sound very exciting. You should really beef up your job description; embellish a bit if you must. Make it sound a lot jazzier.

    Anyway, what I ACTUALLY do, really is a little more interesting than a "typical job"... I'm a dating / relationship coach. Yep. For real. I teach Relationship Psychology / Social Dynamics.

    And, if you've ever seen that Will Smith movie "Hitch" that's a fairly accurate depiction. (Betcha wouldn't have guessed that one...)


    Her Reply:
    Wow! That is freakin cool!

    *Note- I had a hunch this was another potential sh!t test / sarcastic response, so I played it casually just in case she was actually genuinely intrigued. But I also decided to throw in a little playful smart-ass remark at the end, in y next message to her...

    My Follow-up:
    Yeah, it’s a pretty fun gig. But, I have to admit that I’m always surprised just how bad/ clueless most guys are!! LOL!
    But I manage to help them out. (Which greatly benefits women like YOU…)


    Her Reply: (With another minor Sh1t Test)
    I see, said the blind man.
    But women like me do your job for FREE. :P

    My Follow-up:
    LOL! Touche’ bratty-pants!!
    You’re like a nut, wrapped in a goofball & covered in crazy sauce!

    Her Reply:
    mmmm… sounds good. I’ll have that.

    My Follow-up:
    That’s actually the special of the day… Would you like the lunch size portion, or the full meal?

    Her next Reply: (a couple hours later.. and after looking at my profile & photos again)
    Your long hair in that one pic is wicked cool. Then again, I have a huge weakness for long hair...

    My Follow-Up:
    Why didn't you mention that a few years ago, before I cut it? (Dork!!)
    What's wrong with you girl??


    I suppose I could buy one of those "Hannah Montana" wigs & revive that look...
    Do they still sell those things?

    Tell ya what, you keep your eyes peeled... and if you happen to stumble across one, hook a brotha up!!


    Her Reply:
    You got it!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    *Since this interaction, we have exchanged direct email addresses. I told her we would talk “digits” later… as to express non-neediness & to make her wonder why I’m not asking for her number yet, (which is working nicely.) She’s emailed me several times & is asking about meeting up.

    So, there you have it!
    A guy in his 40's CAN attract younger, hot women!
    But just know, you're pretty much guaranteed to receive several tests... so don't be a chump & blow it when they come!


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

    Man I need more examples like this. I'm kind of a noob to come up with good responses against sh1t tests.

    Like the one above, keep it coming if you can.

    Wolf.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

    It just takes practice...
    And always remember, if a girl is testing you, she's interested. (Otherwise she would just ignore you)

    So, whenever you get a test, it's a GOOD thing.

    Just don't freak out & take it as something negative.

    A girl tests guys to see if they're actually as confident as they seem. And a confident, experienced guy who's used to dealing with attractive women on a regular basis, isn't going to flinch or cave in when he encounters them.

    That's their filtering mechanism...
    If a guy can pass the test, the girl is going to think "Yep, this guy can handle it".

    And honestly., the girl WANTS you to pass them & is hoping you do.
    That's how they sort out the quality men, from the little boys.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    It just takes practice...
    And always remember, if a girl is testing you, she's interested. (Otherwise she would just ignore you)

    So, whenever you get a test, it's a GOOD thing.

    Just don't freak out & take it as something negative.

    A girl tests guys to see if they're actually as confident as they seem. And a confident, experienced guy who's used to dealing with attractive women on a regular basis, isn't going to flinch or cave in when he encounters them.

    That's their filtering mechanism...
    If a guy can pass the test, the girl is going to think "Yep, this guy can handle it".

    And honestly., the girl WANTS you to pass them & is hoping you do.
    That's how they sort out the quality men, from the little boys.

    so to summarise in one line the whole interaction, the best way to deal with sh!t tests is to kinda ignore it, turn it around or change the subject?
    English is my second language

  5. #5
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

    T-Mal, you rule man.
    I'm going to kind of "steal" this thread to share my thoughts about tests and frame control using a situation from yesterday's night.

    So yesterday night I had a dinner with some friends, because a female friend of mine is going to Brazil.
    When I was eating (I was the only one eating, because I was the last one arriving to the restaurant), a girl I didn't know from nowhere told me "ask the garçon for sangria (it's an alcoholic drink)". I though "wow, she doesn't know me from nowhere and is telling me to do something? Interesting, let's test the waters" and I answered "I'm eating, do it yourself ". She asked other guy to do it for her and he did. I thought "lol ok".

    Some time after, I went with a girl to drink some shots and when we arrived, she (the "sangria girl") began talking to me, telling me that I was arrogant, because I said I was eating, etc. I smiled and answered very calmly and kinda funny, she said "you are gay", I answered "totally, I love cocks ", after that she said that I was a virgin or that I slap with very few women, to which I answered "but I'm gay!", etc etc etc, a friend of her who was with us simply said "come on, give her your number, she wants it!" and the "sangria girl" smiled, like I did. She asked me for my name to look it up at facebook. Yes, I could have had her number, but I didn't want to, because I wasn't interested.

    The point is: to pass a shit test you can ignore, but they'll come back. You can simply say something ridiculous, agree with her (depending on the context obviously), etc. Say whatever you want that it's not defending yourself or being offensive towards her (insulting her). Keep your frame. You can be bold, by saying something like "gosh, you're totally into me" or "just kiss me", but never defend yourself.

  6. #6
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

    Quote Originally Posted by cesar3003 View Post
    so to summarise in one line the whole interaction, the best way to deal with sh!t tests is to kinda ignore it, turn it around or change the subject?
    No,I would say to take it head on.

  7. #7
    marvilo's Avatar
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    Default Re: T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

    What's the real definitions of sh1t tests? I know it's to test your confidence level but what is it really about???
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  8. #8
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

    Quote Originally Posted by marvilo View Post
    What's the real definitions of sh1t tests? I know it's to test your confidence level but what is it really about???
    To see if you can handle the girl.A test of your value.If she sh1t tests you being gay,and you start denying or getting angry about it - you dlv.
    I don't think there's a definition,but it's to kind of check if you have weak spots.

    For example,a girl once sh1t tested me saying that i probably have a small penis,I told her "Yeah it's so small my last girlfriend broke up with me because of it...cuz we all know size DOES matter"
    She was speechless dude,SHE asked me to go out with her in a sh1t testy way implying that i look like i don't go out a lot because of my studies and a job,to which i said : "Sounds cool,but I'm actually seeing someone...so you shouldn't worry about me that much".I didn't like her unfortunately,so I didn't even give her a chance(we're good friends though),which is why I said I'm seeing someone,I didn't lie,because I was seeing someone,but I always am

    If you chill out,look her in the eye and accept what she has to say,most of the time you'll be good.

  9. #9
    lilsting's Avatar
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    Default Re: T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

    Wow this thread is filled with so much win. T-Mal with the banging series of text exchanges. Couldn't have asked for a better example of online game. Then Lenric comes with the brilliant story. Then raid sealed the deal. Hellz to the yiz yess!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: T-Mal's "Overcoming sh!t tests"... THIS is how you do it!

    Nice write up T-mall and input guys. My online game blows and this stuff really helps.
    "Be like water" - lee


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