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  1. #1
    Alchemist26 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help with recovering from this situation. Feedback Appreciated!

    Hi all, I'm pretty new to PUA. With that being said, let me preface this post by saying that I know I messed up badly. I've been doing a lot of reading and trying to integrate (and apply) what I learn into my life. However, I still get snagged up in some areas and revert to my old mentality regarding women. If you can give me some advice regarding the following situation, I'd greatly appreciate it.

    I met this girl in my lab at college, and we both recently graduated. I've been asking her to hang out for a while, and I had a notion that she was into me. We both went to grab drinks recently, and we started talking about relationships. Eventually this topic led to a point where I asked her "what would you do if I liked you?", and she told me that she would just see me as friend. She asked me if I did, and I was a bit shocked by her response (because of her perspective), so I played it off. Later, against my better judgment, I fessed up and told her, just to get it out in the open. She told me that I'm nice, intelligent, and attractive, but she wouldn't date me simply because she (24) has dated immature 22 year olds before and she needs to draw the line "somewhere". She told me if I was 26 that she would date me. The entire time, I did not attempt to change her mind; I explicitly told her that it's up to her to decide what's best for her, and that was that. I also told her that I typically don't talk to girls after things like this become clear.

    Later, it was time to leave (she told me that day I could sleep over at her place). When we got back, she told me I can sleep anywhere I want, and I told her I'd crash on the couch. She then said that SHE wanted to sleep on the couch, and I told her I wasn't going to move. (Here's where I blew it): She said "fine", walked over, and laid down on top of me (I was sitting vertically, and she was laying horizontally on me, but her eyes were closed. I tried taking off her shoes, and she would playfully hit me, etc. I told her "you're no fun", and she would reply with "I'm loads of fun" with a smile on her face. After a few times I stopped eventually, because I was really confused as to if she was sleepy or horny. She then left and went to her room to sleep. The next morning, I left her place and sent her a text (mistake #2) saying that I think she's genuinely beautiful on the inside/out, etc. and I wish her all the best in life. I also left her a 20 dollar bill on her table because she had mentioned she was running low on cash (mistake #3). She never replied to my text. Turns out, I forgot a key on her table (go figure) and I met up with her the next day. Prior to meeting up with her, she told me she thought she had a week from hell and was getting her period, and boy did it show. She barely smiled when she saw me the next day, told me I made her feel like feel like a hooker for leaving her 20 dollars (and that she didn't want my pity money), and didn't try to make conversation with me at all. When we got to her place, it was a bit awkward...she kinda stood staring at me for like 2 min, with me staring back thinking and asking her wtf? I asked her to take a seat (to which she laughed and replied, seriously? and then said fine and walked over) and I told her that (mistake #4) I was sorry if I hurt her feelings regarding the twenty dollars and the text I sent her and that I did want to hang out with her more. She told me okay, not everything has to be Set in stone, and also "just to let me know, me being there was making it worse because she was in a mood and wanted to be left alone". I also asked her about the whole throwing herself on top of me (mistake #5?) and she laughed, threw her hands up, and said she was simply sleepy and wanted to crash on her couch, because it's her favorite sleeping spot. I then took her leave, and went downstairs, trying to find my train schedule. I then heard her like scream or yell in frustration from her apartment as I was walking out the door.

    Six days later after no communication, I texted the girl saying "Hey, I can see how leaving the 20 dollars on your table can come across as being offensive. It wasn't my intention to make you feel like a hooker (even though we didn't hook up lol). But I was hoping we could amend the situation and start over. What do you think?"

    It's been 4 days and I haven't received a reply or response from the girl, which is odd because she typically responds right away (this was true even the day after when I left my key at her place, and she told me how she was angry). I'm not sure if she is playing games or genuinely frustrated at me.


    I'm kind of confused on where to go from here next? I understand that I've done many things I shouldn't have (after the fact), I should be dating more women etc, and I recognize that there are many women out there. However, I wanted to know specifically if this situation is recoverable and/or any steps I should take from this point on in order to grow her attraction for me (which I think she has, correct me if I'm wrong). She is an incredibly hard girl to read. I also know I've exhibited a lot of beta male actions on behalf of my part, so any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time and attention and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

  2. #2
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with recovering from this situation. Feedback Appreciated!

    you really did damage to this one.yep.it takes simple slow steps.but you must act on her signals.
    you may text her this for starters.rember this is the first line, you must hit.
    u stated you like this girl and implied you want to have sex with her so

    ..To be very honest i was attracted to you and i had this thing that i don't have sex with women who have a depth to them yet.not that girls are shallow but i think everyone has a unique thing about them that i like to explore smetimes.unless am up for one nite stands.i have been in this situation b4.took action l8r. hv a bit to do so..

    this should kill the flag you might hv triggered.
    freeze her out(2 days) whilst going over material and comparing notes.
    u may ask her out to a place close to hers go back to her place then close.be safe!!

  3. #3
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    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with recovering from this situation. Feedback Appreciated!

    You've fucked up very bad and in your current state you stand no chance of getting her back. Move on, go and work on your inner and outer game, and by the time you're decent you can reopen her (should give you about a year). <---- the stuff inside the parenthese was a joke... Seriously, leave her alone. You don fucked up enough already, and now's not the time to salvage anything. Let some time pass, put her in the friend zone, and adopt her as your wingman. Let her see that your an alpha, don't try to convince her. It's too late for that.

    If there's anything to Take Away from what I just said, it's to just leave her be. Don't text her for like 2 weeks. This directly conflicts with what Hardrock said, but this is just how I see it.

  4. #4
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with recovering from this situation. Feedback Appreciated!

    This is not the situation where girl was not totally interested.remember she laid on him.she liked how he handled himself after the she turned down the request, (he was not needy)that even got him back at her place.2 days should do after texting.

    the worst thing you can do is imply a girl is easy.when she said he left her money it was a Sh1t Test. balancing emotions with logic after sometime becomes easy but in the heat of the moment at that time, he handled it differently.this got him opposite results.

    if say he was even to leave and come back this strong impression alone would make it difficult since he had imply that she was easy and also stating that all he wanted was that.he says he is learning and will bounce back with more sarges but he deserves a future escalation with this girl if he may.this should get him one even if he fails(not likely if done right) on asking her out this should set precedence for a probable relation.

    when a girl likes you and you imply that you let her guard up.if you refuse to Disarm by telling the truth somewhat and creating a balance you may never have all of her.theres even another dynamic where it looked liked he wanted sex which is not bad but not the best.this alone could make her avoid him.even in the future.


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