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Thread: Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

  1. #1
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

    Don't know how to deal with this: I planned a summer fling with this girl and her girl friends ( we all get drunk and do stupid stuff and she agreed). So it was like during April but now she randomly texts me and says she likes a guy in one of her classes so the summer thing isn't happening. I smoothly said "ok, have fun with him".

    Did I take the right approach?
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  2. #2
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

    "Cool, invite the guy, hope he's not the jealous kind!"?

  3. #3
    DamianStitch is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

    That sounded bitter. Which probably kills your chances with all of her friends.

    Lenric's response is the one that you should have texted.

    But, as an old lady on TV once said, "Once the cow's been milked, there's no squirting the cream back up the udder." The text is long gone, so leave it be and take this as a lesson.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

    I like how you didn't freak out or try to argue with her like most AFCs would. This would of only made her feel bad temporarily and she would of associated negative emotions with you. By keeping things cool, you might provide yourself with a clean slate later if you wish to reconnect in the future. Don't wait around for her though and keep dating other women. Abundance mentality is huge for dealing with situations like this. Lenric's line is also probably one of the better non-needy lines you could use in situations like this. You may not win her over with it but at least you would keep your value.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

    Quote Originally Posted by marvilo View Post
    Don't know how to deal with this: I planned a summer fling with this girl and her girl friends ( we all get drunk and do stupid stuff and she agreed). So it was like during April but now she randomly texts me and says she likes a guy in one of her classes so the summer thing isn't happening. I smoothly said "ok, have fun with him".

    Did I take the right approach?
    No not really. You got to leave the door open with women for them to come to you and start chasing you. Throw the ball in her court next time you get a sh!t test like this. You essentially gave up on her for another dude. You played it cool and didn't flip your lid but you still could have flipped the script on her. For example

    Example
    "Cool our plans still sounds fun to me and sometimes things don't always work out with someone you like so hit me up since people's feelings can change or if things don't go according to plan."

    Just a sample of what you could do to flip the script, put the ball in her court, and leave the door open for her to start chasing you. This enables you since she could randomly question why you think this and leave them wanting more. Also getting mad, getting revenge, flipping out, giving up never work during a sh!t test when women speak of wanting another man. My guess is she probably lost interest after you said that and didn't question your feelings. But if you leave the door open next time for things to happen they can happen. Remember a wise man once said

    "Son, assumptions with women is the mother of all screw ups, never assume anything with women unless it is an acrobatic position."

    You can try to get her back but you got your work cut out for you since now she will sh!t test you more next time since you are already displayed that you gave up on her. Be ready for more than one sh!t test if you challenge her again.


    Keep in mind you can't win them all and you always want to present yourself in the best possible light but always leave room for screw ups since you can sometimes recover! I literally flipped the hottest girl I ever seen emotions by getting her from telling me she had a fiance, to having a BF, to not wanting to talk to me I was so close to having her! Sometimes when they say "I have a BF" I can flip the script and say "Well you were way into me last night and you forgot all about him when you were with me." But if the BF is calling, BF is texting me, she is threatening to call the cops, she says I am a freak she has a BF fark off, I am married, or I don't remember you I usually back away or cave. There is instances in what I just mentioned when you should back away but I almost flipped the girl that told me she was married and got her to admit to lying but caved after that and the one who said she didn't remember me actually did I just gave up on her. Just depends man you don't want to push it too far.

    Just try giving up in a more Alpha way and see what happens like leaving the door open but displaying you are kinda walking away. This is a good Push-Pull for them. But really her saying she liked some guy in class you could have flipped her emotions back to you by practicing a good Push Pull like I mentioned. Won't always work not 100% but sometimes girls will flip if you let them. My rule is if I never seen the BF, the BF isn't in my radar, or the BF isn't calling me and threatening me I will push it. But when you piss them off like they will tell you I am married and my husband is pissed/ or my BF is pissed back the fark away you can't win that choose your battles wisely. But this girl was beating around the bush and she gave you some room to go to work.

  6. #6
    Jayz10 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

    so what when you approach a girl and directly tell her your interested and she smiles and likes the confindence but says "i have a bf" do you take that as a shit test or shes being truthful. if so why would you want to wreck a relationship?

  7. #7
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    "Cool, invite the guy, hope he's not the jealous kind!"?
    Was about to mention something like this.
    You never know maybe it was a Sh1t Test.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jayz10 View Post
    so what when you approach a girl and directly tell her your interested and she smiles and likes the confindence but says "i have a bf" do you take that as a sh1t test or shes being truthful. if so why would you want to wreck a relationship?
    Depends on the girl,if see that she's being truthful,I would personally back off,I don't like dramas.

  8. #8
    marvilo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

    Lol she ended up saying she still wants to party with me and I could hook up with some of her friends when she comes over and I said "it won't be the same" ( I know it sounds crazy but I was putting a smart plan in motion). She then texted back " ok but if it doesn't work out we can still hang out and do what you want this summer" I just simply stated " no, I'm not going to be anyone's second choice." She texted back but I just ignored it and deleted the convo. ( my plan is basically a push and pull. By saying that and not texting back it'll make her think and she'll come back harder then ever.) I understand what y'all are trying to say though. So is my strategy good or bad?
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  9. #9
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

    Quote Originally Posted by marvilo View Post
    Lol she ended up saying she still wants to party with me and I could hook up with some of her friends when she comes over and I said "it won't be the same" ( I know it sounds crazy but I was putting a smart plan in motion). She then texted back " ok but if it doesn't work out we can still hang out and do what you want this summer" I just simply stated " no, I'm not going to be anyone's second choice." She texted back but I just ignored it and deleted the convo. ( my plan is basically a push and pull. By saying that and not texting back it'll make her think and she'll come back harder then ever.) I understand what y'all are trying to say though. So is my strategy good or bad?
    You don't seem to be reading at all,so I suggest you to read around to understand why this strategy is bad.

  10. #10
    Jayz10 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Summer, fling, bailed, need opinions in this

    Quote Originally Posted by marvilo View Post
    Lol she ended up saying she still wants to party with me and I could hook up with some of her friends when she comes over and I said "it won't be the same" ( I know it sounds crazy but I was putting a smart plan in motion). She then texted back " ok but if it doesn't work out we can still hang out and do what you want this summer" I just simply stated " no, I'm not going to be anyone's second choice." She texted back but I just ignored it and deleted the convo. ( my plan is basically a push and pull. By saying that and not texting back it'll make her think and she'll come back harder then ever.) I understand what y'all are trying to say though. So is my strategy good or bad?
    at this point you have higher value than her. all in all good. just go out there and get other girls, live lfie of abundance. dont wait on this one


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