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  1. #1
    plove2 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Did I blow it with a birthday gift?

    Hi here's my situation and I hope to get some advice. I've been your typical "nice guy" pretty much forever and after my last failed relationship I've actively tried to change. The trouble is it's hard to break habits you've had for forever.

    Anyways, about a month and a half ago I met a girl online. She is very cool and we talk regularly and she shows interest in me. I feel I've been doing a good job of staying focused on my own life and not being constantly available to her, in hopes of keeping her interested and having a life outside of one girl.

    It's her birthday soon and I decided to get her a gift, a funny card and some candy from here that she never had and can't get where she's at. I didn't think this was anything too bad or too much. However then I think I blew it by adding a necklace, it wasn't anything expensive just something that I thought she'd like. Problem is now I feel I did too much and possibly ruined something good I had going, either by scaring her off or being seen as a beta who can just be used for stuff.

    Is there a way I can salvage this or is this really not as big a deal as I imagine it to be? Thanks in advance for any advice.

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I blow it with a birthday gift?

    Don't, don't, don't, don't spend money on girls.

    Don't buy them drinks when you have just met them at a bar. Women don't respect guys who buy them stuff, they USE guys to get them stuff. You will come across as an AFC. These girls will even brag to their friends about how they made some chump of a guy BUY THEM stuff without so much as kissing them.

    If you had f-closed her previously then the necklace would have been ok as long as it wasn't too expensive.

    When you go on a D1 it's ok to pay for coffee or pay for the drinks. It's not very expensive. Be confident and tell her that you feel like you are in a good mood, that you will cover the drinks and she can tip the waitress. You will come across as a really fair and an Alpha man when you tell her (not ask her) to cover the tip. This is the guys version of the shit test for women.

    If she insists that you pay and tip you will know that this girl isn't into you. She is only after the free drinks, future free meals and free gifts. She will string you along.

    I haven't had any girl refuse to tip the waitress when I cover the drinks. Typical date $25 to $55 taxes included. Drinks in Canada are more expensive then they are in the States and Europe She provides the tip on top of that.

    My D1 rate of F-closing is over 90%.

    Can you recover?

    I would recommend Freezing Her Out until she re-engages contact with you. If she doesn't then wait 7 days and text her something random like, " You won't believe the crazy a$$ sh!t I did today." Get her curious to ask you what that was. Then make up something like you jumped off a 50 foot cliff into a lake. It could be anything and no it doesn't have to be true.

  3. #3
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I blow it with a birthday gift?

    Yeah the general rule is don't spend money on girls. The necklace was probably too much. I'm assuming you're not actually in a relationship with her yet?

    If so I think even the card and candy might be a bit much. My rule is I don't buy gifts for women unless we are in a relationship. A text or a phone call to say happy birthday would have been fine!

    At the moment you're committing the no.1 AFC error... showing too much interest too early.

    Do what dave suggests and Freeze her out

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