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  1. #1
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
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    Post Online Convo with Girl on FB Needing Advice/ Intro to PUAForums

    What's up guys?! This is my first post and introduction to the puaforums community and I apologize ahead of time that it's a long one. I've been lurking on these forums for a couple of weeks now and after talking today to this girl I met in college last fall, I realized that I'm still very rookie, and in need of some professional advice. I've learned a lot the past month or so revisiting some of David DeAngelo's material as well as Mystery's (both on youtube) and a handful of other PUA Forums. Plus, blogs authored by self-proclaimed PUAs.

    I really enjoyed my conversation with, we'll just call her Jane, but it left much to be desired. I used to be a natural when I was in my teenage years (I'm 23 now) but after a few life events, I've fallen off the natural path and am struggling to just have rewarding conversations with others, not just girls.

    I wanted to post this because I feel like I'm making real f***ing progress and I'm pumped that I've gotten this far without anything but studying, real-world interaction, and a huge attempt to simply REMEMBER what came naturally to me when I was younger that made me so successful socially.

    But I'm humble and realistic enough to know that 1, I can't do this alone. 2, The guys on this forum are a wealth of wisdom and insight that I'd be a fool to pass up on the chance that any of it starts rubbing off on me. And 3, that in this interaction below, there were a lot of missed opportunities to say something really great, and a lot of chances to escalate or make things more intimate/personal.

    Again, I used to be a natural and know that right now I'm really rusty but that's why I'm here, with the hopes that some of you can grace me with some constructive criticism and helpful/hopeful advice. I love women but it's just been hard for a while to sit comfortably in a conversation and really develop something deeply personal with anyone in a while, and frankly I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. So here goes! Again sorry for the long-ass post but hopefully it's full of information that can be used to gauge my current level of ability.

    So here's where I'm at with it and what I'm curious about if you guys could shed some light on these things:

    • She says "ruddeeee" alot when I'm joking with her. Should I take that as the proverbial "playful punch on the arm" after teasing her or is that a negative sign or something else altogether? What can I do in reaction to that response she gave me in the future to either spice it up or whatever you think?
    • I get the impression I should've been doing more DHVs, what do you think and what could I have said at specific points in the conversation that would've been funny lines, or anything that would've spiced up the conversation and created a little more attraction and value in my favor?
    • Is there a resource I can go to that lists out and describes the A1-C whatever process that Mystery developed (I think)? It would help a lot for me to be able to see the process written down from A-Z.
    • What should my end goal be besides having a lot of fun with her and just developing a connection? Should I aim to get her to ask me to hang out? Ask her for/Get her to ask me for our phone numbers? Again I guess I'm looking for a process or steps you take without becoming a "canned-line" robot of a man.

    Thanks and I look forward to hopefully a long and fruitful experience on the puaforums! - Hutch

    Me: hey jane how's your tonsils?

    Her: Hiii
    I'm doing a lot better!

    Me: that's good! i bet you got to eat tons of ice cream

    Her: lmao yeah moreso now than before
    it like burned my throat at first

    Me: they always say that helps but i didn't know if that's a myth

    Her: it was a horrible idea at first
    cause it's dairy

    Me: haha the ice cream burned?

    Her: yeah most foods burned up until like 2 days ago
    so i didnt really eat
    because it was terrible haha

    Me: oh so jalapenos didnt soothe then

    Her: i meaaaannnn those could have done the trick who knows

    Me: like the opposite mightve helped

    Her: yeah definitely not something i ever want to go through again but i'm glad i did it

    Me: i saw that in my newsfeed like a week ago or something so youre still a little tuckered out like a little guy huh?
    tuckered out little guy*

    Her: haha dont be mean!
    yeah i'm still on bed rest until tuesday
    which is sooooo boring

    Me: haha i know the feeling
    i got poison ivy about a month ago and couldnt work for a week
    it was reaaaaaaaally bad

    Her: oh god
    that's terrible

    Me: my eyes swelled shut, my whole face and throat were swollen and red

    Her: that's so bad!

    Me: nothing oozing or whatever but i looked like sloth from the goonies

    Her: that's hot

    Me: aka a contorted monster...
    lol yeah
    my superman shirt was in the wash though so i couldnt pose for you
    oh and suspenders
    cant forget those

    Her: haha that doesnt excuse you

    Me: i was sending my friends and my boss pictures every day to show them how bad it was, but i just got an iphone and lost the pictures

    Her: aww

    Me: lol what if it doesn't? what are you gonna do about it?

    Her: yay you've joined the iphone club

    Me: come at me, bro

    Her: the 4 or 5?

    Me: the 4S

    Her: ooh siri

    Me: haha she's overrated
    she just asks if she can google that question for me 99% of the time

    Her: yeah so true

    Me: and i'm like no siri i thought you were AI. you're supposed to be more than this
    i like making fake reminders though
    "remind me tomorrow to finagle a bagel at 430 pm"
    just to hear her robot voice repeat it
    i don't really like bagels

    Her: hahahaha
    thats great
    and how do you not like bagels!

    Me: i'm more of an english muffin guy mahself

    Her: mmmm
    i want food

    Me: melted butter on an english muffin freshly toasted?
    hoooo Jesus
    it's okay we can still get them

    Her: omg
    i cant eat that yet

    Me: i'll just have to like, mush it up in a blender and feed the english muffin to you
    it's cool we can manage

    Her: i ate a little chicken yesterday though
    i was DYING

    Me: haha what!

    Her: mashed potatoes and slush is not enough to feed a girl
    it took a reaaaaalllly long time because i had to chew it forever
    but when theres a will theres a way
    believe me there was a will

    Me: i'm sure it was a beautiful sight witnessing you trying to chew and swallow a tiny piece of real food
    like one of those pelicans that throws the fish up in the air and just lets it slide down its throat cuz it doesnt have teeth

    Her: rudeeeee

    Me: hahaha

    Her: let me rip your tonsils out!
    see how well you can eat

    Me: do it you wont

    Her: you're right i wont
    that's disgusting
    i was on drugs and i asked them if they were going to save my tonsils in a jar and put them on a shelf filled with jarred tonsils like in hey arnold
    but they said no
    apparently they are sent to a lab and then disposed of
    i think it's a cop out

    Me: hahaha you still remember that episode??
    ...don't tell me you still watch it...

    Her: well i have been watching it latelyt
    because what else am i doing
    but DUH i still remember

    Me: that's cute
    i think my favorite was Are You Afraid of the Dark?
    that and legends of the hidden temple
    omg, memz

    Her: omg legends
    the amanda show was really the best

    Me: only thing that pissed me off was they had way too many indian guys guarding the statue pieces. like wtf there's almost 1 in every room

    Her: RIGHT
    and they would like pick up the kids
    thats so unfair

    Me: yeah and fondle them
    so weird

    Her: or they'd like surprise jump out from behind them
    i'd be like dude WTF
    show yourself or fark off

    Me: hahaha yeah they'd pop smoke and the guy comes running through, molests the boy or girl, then runs away with half of the only token you have... d1ck
    what was the grand prize? wasn't it like, a weekend to disney world?

    Her: i have no idea at all what they won actually

    Me: or Epcot or something? i can't remember

    Her: but in guts

    Me: probably because they never won

    Her: you won a glowing peice of the awesome rock

    Me: oh man
    yeah! i completely forgot about that!

    Her: now THAT is a prize

    Me: hell yeah it is
    i'd frame that in one of those museum glass boxes and keep it forever

    Her: i bet its worth big bucks

    Me: haha the huge foam boulders they threw down at you
    the crag?
    crag mountain?

    Her: hahaha
    the agro crag
    get it right

    Me: hahahaha omg wtf

    Her: i watch way too much nickelodean

    Me: you've been watching re-runs this whole week you deprived thing
    we need to go outside

    Her: i sat outside for like 10 minutes today
    it was exhausting

    Me: don't worry, i'll get you those special elderly people glasses with the side tint so you don't go blind from the sun!

    Her: sweeeeet

    Me: you don't sound excited

    Her: im more excited about chicken wings

    Me: chicken wings? what the ones im making?
    i'm making butter garlic wings for dinner
    not even a lie

    Her: WHAT

    Me: are you stalking me?

    Her: so i live like
    really close
    like close enough

    Me: ...

    Her: that those chicken wings could pretty much fly themselves here

    Me: you live in my closet?

    Her: right

    Me: oh
    well yeah since you've come clean about it you can come out of there and just eat them like a normal person

    Her: boys closets have cooties

    Me: but after you have like, 2 im gonna have to ask you to leave
    lol i have a cooties closet and you're a stalker in my closet. i don't know about you but i know which one of these looks bad in the eyes of the law

    Her: you

    Me: haha fine have it your way. i'll keep these tasty wings to myself then

    Her: waaaahhhhh

    Me: that's what you get!

    Her: im sad
    i just want to eat everything

    Me: hahaha.. i'm making fried chicken tomorrow for our cook out too

    Her: WHY

    Me: annnd pizza frittata tomorrow for breakfast

    Her: i hate you

    Me: and probably dates stuffed with goat cheese and sprinkled with crushed almonds that are broiled until the cheese melts and everythings all toasty
    they might sound a little different but they're wicked good

    Her: ew that i wont eat

    Me: you mean you can't eat

    Her: even if i could
    i hate goat cheese!

    Me: i'd make you try it if you could actually eat
    what the

    Her: yuck

    Me: this isn't that gross crumbly kind, it's more like cream cheese

    Her: its goat cheese

    Me: the salad kind is way too bitter

    Her: yucko

    Me: your taste is yucko

    Her: youre yucko

    Me: lol actually with your current condition, goat cheese would probably be the best thing out of everything im making to help soothe your throat

    Her: no

    Me: lol you're a bad liar

    Her: i need protein
    im a good eater
    feed me chicken

    Me: i'm yucko and you're a good eater?.. i think i just stepped in bullsh1t
    and not with an attitude like that young lady

    Her: nice try

    Me: say please

    Her: noooo

    Me: you will get nothing from me
    not until i hear the magic words!

    Her: no way
    i want to eat everything

    Me: well eat your foot cuz you aint gettin nothing from me
    the wings will be mine
    so... stick that in your mouth and eat it

    Her: NO
    i need to get dressed
    thats so much effot

    Me: so you're naked talking to me right now on fb?

    Her: haha
    no im in jammies

    Me: haha yeah right
    jenny's naked jenny's naked!
    yeah riiiight
    that's cool i'm only in my boxer briefs right now. too damn hot and i gotta do some P90X before the day's through!

    Her: omg that was so hard getting dressed

    Me: you're not getting my wings
    so don't even think about it

    Her: meannnn
    i only took one dosage of percosets today
    you should be proud
    im doing great

    Me: haha i was on 3 meds when i had poison ivy... definitely wasn't good enough to drive

    Her: hahaha
    yeah i am not allowed to drive
    not like i can though im way too tired

    Me: that's good

    Her: i went on a 5 minute car ride with my sister and had to lay down in the backsear
    because i thought i was gonna be sick

    Me: hahah what the

    Her: the medicine is way too strong
    i threw up all the first day
    like it sucked so bad

    Me: wtf
    is it so painful that you need to take them though?

    Her: i'm trying to take less of it now but tylenol doesnt work as well

    Me: aw

    Her: i was taking it round the clock for a week straight though
    so thats not good haha

    Me: yeah especially with nothing in your stomach

    Her: but i couldnt eat! and without taking meds i reaaally couldnt
    but when i took them i got sick
    so it was just a bad time

    Me: that's so sad.. i'm not even going out tonight probably because of all the prep for tomorrow
    if you weren't such a stalker we couldve had some nice chicken wings, some ice cream, and watched a movie

    Her: RUDE

    Me: oh well
    haha hey i thought i had cooties
    don't wanna get you more ill

    Her: i guess you're right
    anywho i need to try and eat something
    so i'll chat later!
    enjoy your wings
    i'm highly jealous

    Me: haha alright feel better little guy
    it was fun catching up

    Her: i'm a girl!
    but yes stay in touch mister

    Me: omg really?

    Her: actually better yet lets not stay in touch
    just kidding

    Me: lol it's an expression little GIRL chill your nips

    Her: MY NIPS?
    okay im done now

    Me: haha it's time for someone's nap...
    bye jane

    Her: byeeee
    Last edited by Hutch; 06-21-2013 at 03:06 PM. Reason: fixed conversation spacing

  2. #2
    Dizzie's Avatar
    Dizzie is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Online Convo with Girl on FB Needing Advice/ Intro to PUAForums

    Welcome to the forums. A few of the mistakes you made:

    1. Wayyyyy too much texting. I use to have long text conversations by phone/msn/facebook with women all the time and I learned my lessons the hard way. Unless you want to be her texting buddy, this is counterproductive. You want to keep your conversations short, but long enough to get her laughing, build a little comfort, but most importantly: set up a Hangout/date. You can't physically escalate through a computer or phone. Without that physical connection, you can only be satisfying her emotional needs at best, and if too much time passes she might start viewing you as more of a friend.

    2. Always be the one to end conversations first (at least 80% of the time). Every time she ends a conversation first, it subsequently lowers your value. When you end a conversation at a high point, it leaves her wanting more. It communicates that you have other things going on in your life and she's going to have to work for you if she wants to take up more of your time.

    3. Know when to cut the thread and move to a new one. You spent too much time at first talking about her swallowing ice cream and asking her boring questions. Be in control of the tempo of the conversation. When she's the one asking you questions and you are getting a lot of haha's, lol's, lmao's, know you are having a positive impact on the energy of the conversation.

    Keep reading the resources available on this forum and do your approaches regularly and things will come together.

    dhv's are great if you embed them into your conversations properly. They work amazing if they are congruent with how you are in real life. Get in the habit of living an inspired life and always doing cool things. If you use routines or steal DHVs that other people have used, she's going to figure out you are full of sh*t eventually. My best advice is if you have fun, interesting and exciting things going on in your life on a regular basis, you should never have to use someone else's routines or stories again. Develop an abundance mentality and good luck!


  3. #3
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Online Convo with Girl on FB Needing Advice/ Intro to PUAForums

    Thank you so much for the response. It was more detailed and specific than I thought I would get for such a long conversation. #1 is a given but I guess even when I was a natural, sometimes I didn't know when to move on or felt like it was "the right time to transition" for the sake of feeling natural and not awkward or fast. Also #2 I knew but when she said she had to go, inside I was like, "Shit I should've ended this 5 or 10 minutes ago when it was at a high point!" but I had so much fun having a good conversation with a good person that I milked it a little too long I guess haha.

    And yeah, I can definitely agree that when she's making me laugh, it means she feels comfortable and might be trying to display some IOIs or DHVs of her own to get my attention. Is that a correct interpretation?

    #3 Again, sometimes I feel like I need to get off on the right foot and get in the groove of things for me to move on to something we can both be enthusiastic about. Not saying that I assume I know what's right, just saying it's a feeling I get and I guess holds me back from moving forward earlier when I really should be as to keep the convo short. I just wanted to point out, she said she'd be on "later today" or tonight or whateer. Does that mean she wants to talk and is showing interest?

    Alright my ride's here. Going into Boston for a friend's (girls') b-day. Thanks for the response and you'll be hearing from me more soon. I appreciate the advice! It gives me motivation and hope! Have a great night Dizzie! - Hutch

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