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Thread: Sticking Point: Keep Getting Flaked Over Text

  1. #1
    Wolf24's Avatar
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    Question Sticking Point: Keep Getting Flaked Over Text

    For the past couple days, numerous girls started flaking, while I'm trying to set up d2 over texting. It's getting frustrating. I've been searching around but couldn't find something specific as a solution.

    Shortened examples (Some smileys excluded because of forum limitations) :

    Girl 1
    Me: I guess your school has ended, so it's time to put the fun back in the equation! Meet me @ 2.03pm on Thursday and we're gonna go bowling, let's see what have you got against me!
    Girl1: Sounds fun! We'll see

    (These texts were 3 days prior to the meeting, so I felt like I should sent a text couple hours before the event, just to see if she will flake on me.)

    Me: Hey *her nickname*! Ready to test your ball rolling skills?
    Girl1: Uhh, I hate to say this but I just had a piercing on my belly button so I fear it might get hurt while playing bowling.
    (It seemed like a genuine excuse so I didn't want to push it too much.)
    Me: Oh really? C'mon you can easily roll the ball without bending your belly.
    Girl1: But I won't win with those lame shots.
    Me: You wouldn't win even if you were in perfect condition.
    Girl1: Haha you think so?
    Me: Yeah, hey, since every fun activity will involve your belly button, I guess we'll go next time...
    Girl1: For sure.

    Girl 2
    Me: Hey I've got 2 tickets to the game tonight. Make sure you have your pompoms ready! Pick u up at 7.
    Girl2: Wow, really? Ok, I'm in!
    (Couple hours later...)
    Girl2: Uhh some urgent meeting came up, I can't come with you, sorry!
    Me: It's fine. Just make sure your meeting is more fun than the game!
    Girl2: Haha, I'll try.

    Girl 3
    Me: Let's go to the beach today! I heard it's cocktail day in the bar! Pick you up @ 3.07.
    Girl3: Uhh, sounds fun but I'd rather stay at home today...
    Me: And miss this awesome sun? Girl, you're really boring.
    Girl3: (She sends a smiling and winking picture, nothing revealing, nothing fancy) I guess I'm fun enough.
    Me: Oh really? Is that your definition of fun? I need better evidence.
    Girl3: Okay, I'll send better pics when I go out tomorrow night. (Seems like a Sh1t Test)
    Me: Wow, so you're gonna send me pictures of you with other guys?
    Girl3: Hahaha maybeee...
    Me: That'd maybe a bit fun, but make sure those guys give the "duckface" pose, or it won't mean anything.
    Girl3: LOL! You got it.

    This is the situation I'm in, basically. There are other girls too but I just got too tired and frustrated and gave sh1tty responses, so those are on me.

    Any takes on this guys? I feel like I'm really stuck here but none of the girls seem like they are blowing me off. They seem like they have reasonable excuses, so maybe I should just try to set up a meeting for another time?...

    Thanks for your help,
    Wolf.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  2. #2
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Sticking Point: Keep Getting Flaked Over Text

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf24 View Post
    Any takes on this guys? I feel like I'm really stuck here but none of the girls seem like they are blowing me off. They seem like they have reasonable excuses, so maybe I should just try to set up a meeting for another time?...

    This is what I think. It COULD also be a stupid coincidence, unlikely but you never know. Go and have some fun with your friends either way, take lots of pics of you with them, with hot chicks and then send it to the girls, and say they've missed out big time, then either get them out or freeze them out, not sure hehe. Good luck
    English is my second language

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Sticking Point: Keep Getting Flaked Over Text

    The issue could also lie before the texting. Sounds like you're still in attraction phase with these women. It's best to get to comfort before you separate on your first meeting to insure d2.

    Assuming everything is fine then you may want a different approach than simply telling them when and where to meet. I know some guys advocate this, but you really have to calibrate and find your own style. That's my opinion.

    I personally don't straight up say the time and location out of nowhere. I like to get into normal convo with them and put them in a fun mood first BEFORE sending an invite. I don't like risking them being in a shitty mood which exposes me to a rejection. Build them up first then shoot an invite. In fact go as far as to invite her on HER high point. So if she says something funny or clever during your convo then follow up with "Ya know I forgot how fun you are. I'm about to grab a bite. You should come along. I'm looking forward to a free meal. "

    Once I see them a few times and we bang then I know she's comfortable enough that when I do tell her to meet me out of nowhere she's more likely to say yes. You have to build up that compliance within her first.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Sticking Point: Keep Getting Flaked Over Text

    How you asked for the dates was great actually. I'll use something similar to these when i ask a girl out for a day two. I don't think the problem lies in the above examples.

    If you are getting consistent flakes then it is something that you are doing before you are asking them out. If the date was with Brad Pitt, do you think she still would of flaked? The answer is probably NO. If she cared enough she would of actually showed up or at least tried to reschedule. Here are a couple reasons why a girl might flake:

    1. You lost tempo over text/phone. Maybe she was really attracted to you when you got her number and wanted to see you again at first, but then you lost momentum through texting. You have to be congruent with the attractive guy she met when she gave you her number. Boring her or texting her too often and being needy will kill the attraction quickly. You want to get her laughing, build some comfort, and push for the meet up without LOSING any value. Always try to be the one to end conversations first, try not to send more than one text at a time, and vary the length of time it takes for you to respond to her (Not being available to her all the time).

    2. You didn't build enough comfort with her. This is usually the case when you get her number in a short period of time. Sometimes when you meet a girl, you feel the attraction is high but circumstances don't allow you to interact with her for very long so you get her number. When you do text her, she's laughing a lot and is very receptive to your messages but when you ask her for a date she deflects it or flakes. This could happen because you didn't build enough comfort. If i get a girl's number over a short interaction, my first goal is to text her a few times but then get her on the phone. Once you get her on the phone you can build comfort more easily and she will get used to your voice (remember to continue with the attraction and keep her laughing). I will then go for the date on the phone.

    3. She gives out her number often and likes guys blowing up her phone. For a lot of women (especially high quality women), giving out their number isn't a big deal. They do it all the time. From my experience attractive women usually have lots of options available to them and they are busy all the time. You have to present them with the best option, otherwise its easy for them to find something better to do.

    Sometimes a low stakes meetup while momentum is high is the best option for a girl that is prone to flakes. I've had women that rejected the idea of meeting up alone during the day but then were much more comfortable coming out with their friends in a larger social setting (ex: bar, event,..etc). If she's had a history of awkward meet-ups with guys, this might be a better avenue for you to try. In a larger social setting she will feel more comfortable and it will give you an opportunity to win over some of her friends as well.

    -Dizzie

  5. #5
    Wolf24's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sticking Point: Keep Getting Flaked Over Text

    Quote Originally Posted by Dizzie View Post
    How you asked for the dates was great actually. I'll use something similar to these when i ask a girl out for a day two. I don't think the problem lies in the above examples.

    If you are getting consistent flakes then it is something that you are doing before you are asking them out. If the date was with Brad Pitt, do you think she still would of flaked? The answer is probably NO. If she cared enough she would of actually showed up or at least tried to reschedule. Here are a couple reasons why a girl might flake:

    1. You lost tempo over text/phone. Maybe she was really attracted to you when you got her number and wanted to see you again at first, but then you lost momentum through texting. You have to be congruent with the attractive guy she met when she gave you her number. Boring her or texting her too often and being needy will kill the attraction quickly. You want to get her laughing, build some comfort, and push for the meet up without LOSING any value. Always try to be the one to end conversations first, try not to send more than one text at a time, and vary the length of time it takes for you to respond to her (Not being available to her all the time).

    2. You didn't build enough comfort with her. This is usually the case when you get her number in a short period of time. Sometimes when you meet a girl, you feel the attraction is high but circumstances don't allow you to interact with her for very long so you get her number. When you do text her, she's laughing a lot and is very receptive to your messages but when you ask her for a date she deflects it or flakes. This could happen because you didn't build enough comfort. If i get a girl's number over a short interaction, my first goal is to text her a few times but then get her on the phone. Once you get her on the phone you can build comfort more easily and she will get used to your voice (remember to continue with the attraction and keep her laughing). I will then go for the date on the phone.

    3. She gives out her number often and likes guys blowing up her phone. For a lot of women (especially high quality women), giving out their number isn't a big deal. They do it all the time. From my experience attractive women usually have lots of options available to them and they are busy all the time. You have to present them with the best option, otherwise its easy for them to find something better to do.

    Sometimes a low stakes meetup while momentum is high is the best option for a girl that is prone to flakes. I've had women that rejected the idea of meeting up alone during the day but then were much more comfortable coming out with their friends in a larger social setting (ex: bar, event,..etc). If she's had a history of awkward meet-ups with guys, this might be a better avenue for you to try. In a larger social setting she will feel more comfortable and it will give you an opportunity to win over some of her friends as well.

    -Dizzie
    Loved the explanation, cleared a lot of things. Thank you much.

    Wolf.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.


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