Re: Girlfriend questions, for those who is dating someone
I think you should make an honest effort before bailing. And I get the feeling you want to as well. Beings that you wrote the post :P
So realize that as soon as you come into contact with any woman or person you are instantly shaping each other. Telling them things you like or dislike. Wanting them to be a certain way and them wanting you a certain way. Setting up your frame and she sets up hers until a dynamic is set with your two. It happens constantly and it's something we should try to gain conscious control over.
So focus on shaping her into a woman that likes to be open with her feelings. This is a delicate technique and even I, myself, have not mastered this due to my own frustrations with women lol.
The main thing to have in your mind is that you should only state your standards and expectations. Telling her what she NEEDS to do will only bring out her rebellious side and she'll want to express her free will. Even if she feels you're right, she'll go opposite of what you tell her simply to show you're not the boss of her. I mean, I think you'd do the same if she did that to you, right?
Now after you focus on only stating what you want or expect then this is the general message you should be saying to her in summary. Not necessarily verbatim:
After she opens up: "I really like how you open up to me. I feel closer to you every time you do. It also makes me feel good knowing you trust talking to me."
If she's obviously being cold and you want her to open up: "Hey this isn't high school anymore. And I missed the day in class where they taught mind reading. I respect people who open up and tell me how they feel because I sure as hell don't have time to sit around wondering what's wrong with them. I'm here if you want to talk."
The idea is to shape being closed off as a negative trait. Even turns you off. While shaping her opening up as mature and admiring.
"All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."