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  • 1 Post By dave_xxx
  • 1 Post By Mikalichov

Thread: Need some advice on my profile pros- HELP

  1. #1
    cinemaLA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need some advice on my profile pros- HELP

    Hi there PUA's,

    I've been having a hellish time getting people to respond to my openers. I manage to get them to visit my profile nearly half the time but then I lose them there. I've been lurking the last few days looking at suggestions here and this is what I came up with for PoF. Please critique.

    My goal isn't for a bunch of quick hookups but to land a beautiful lady for a relationship. Please keep that in kind when reviewing.

    HEADLINE:

    Guaranteed- 30% less creepy than other profiles

    ABOUT ME SECTION:

    Since you're reading this, I've clearly passed the picture test. I'm going to save you the long flowery adjectives that you find on every other profile. Actions speak louder than words so I'll let those do the talking for me. Let's just start with the bad stuff to get that out of the way – I'm a hopeless romantic, I'm honest to a fault, I am impulsive and restless at times, prone to flights of imagination and stay up way too late way too often. The evening is so mysterious and I love experiencing it. Anything can happen.

    I grew up on the endless beautiful beaches of Miami, love to travel to exotic locations, have an incredible group of friends and have found success in an industry most people only dream about. I believe you get back what you put out in this world.

    About you: You're one of a kind, you break the LA stereotype, you sing in the shower, you're not a Stripper and you 're not here Catfishing. I know those are some big shoes to fill but, if you're someone very special, I'd love to have you along for the ride and make our already great lives that much better.

    FIRST DATE SECTION:

    Something simple and not too extravagant. Perhaps a day trip to Paris for some mousse au chocolat and a stroll down the Avenue des Champs-Élysées, or if we’re running short on time I’d settle for alligator wrestling instead.

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice on my profile pros- HELP

    Quote Originally Posted by cinemaLA View Post
    Hi there PUA's,


    HEADLINE:

    Guaranteed- 30% less creepy than other profiles
    You start out with dlv. The hits you are getting are from girls who are curious to see who could be almost as creepy but not quite as creepy as the the creepiest guy here.

  3. #3
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice on my profile pros- HELP

    Quote Originally Posted by cinemaLA View Post
    Hi there PUA's,


    ABOUT ME SECTION:

    Since you're reading this, I've clearly passed the picture test.
    You are trying to justify yourself. This again is dlv

  4. #4
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice on my profile pros- HELP

    Quote Originally Posted by cinemaLA View Post
    Hi there PUA's,


    ABOUT ME SECTION:

    I'm a hopeless romantic, I'm honest to a fault, I am impulsive and restless at times, prone to flights of imagination and stay up way too late way too often. The evening is so mysterious and I love experiencing it. Anything can happen.
    You come across as an AFC. You sound non-confident. You need to read more posts here on how to come across as an ALPHA or better yet be that ALPHA. Everything your wrote has Beta written all over it.

    I am being brutally honest to help you. I am not trying to be an A-hole.

  5. #5
    cinemaLA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need some advice on my profile pros- HELP

    Thanks. I'll have to put some thought into your comments. I had a few reservations with those areas.

  6. #6
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some advice on my profile pros- HELP

    Guaranteed- 30% less creepy than other profiles
    What dave_xxx said, but also: you know the thing about "try not to think of a polar bear"? Well, it's the same. If you say "I'm not creepy", their brain will only remember "creepy" as the first word associated with you.

    And I'm sure you can find a better thing about you that "I'm not that creepy", right?

    Since you're reading this, I've clearly passed the picture test.
    You're reminding her she is the one choosing, and that you hope you can pass her test. Bad.

    I'm going to save you the long flowery adjectives that you find on every other profile. Actions speak louder than words so I'll let those do the talking for me. Let's just start with the bad stuff to get that out of the way –
    dlv, DLV, DLV. You bring back the other guys - why? She should only be focused on YOU! And don't introduce the next section as "the bad stuff". Again, even if I know what you mean, she will just remember "bad". There is a huge difference:

    "A really bad thing about me: I'm a romantic" and "I'm a romantic, I know, that's bad."

    I'm a hopeless romantic, I'm honest to a fault, I am impulsive and restless at times, prone to flights of imagination and stay up way too late way too often. The evening is so mysterious and I love experiencing it. Anything can happen.

    I grew up on the endless beautiful beaches of Miami, love to travel to exotic locations, have an incredible group of friends and have found success in an industry most people only dream about. I believe you get back what you put out in this world.
    This is nice, but very much generic. What do you like doing? What is unique about you? What is the thing people notice about you? Right now, I could paste this description to 90% of guys, and that would work.

    As you said, actions speak louder than words, so don't bother about describing your personality - it will come across anyway - and describe what you DO in your life

    About you: You're one of a kind, you break the LA stereotype, you sing in the shower, you're not a Stripper and you 're not here Catfishing. I know those are some big shoes to fill but, if you're someone very special, I'd love to have you along for the ride and make our already great lives that much better.
    Again, 90% of women fit the description. Don't ask her to be special. Say what YOUR special is. Want a woman that speaks a lot? That's shy? That laughs all the time? What is that small physical thing that you like? A cute nose, long hair, small feet? Make her want to qualify herself, more than "well, I'm not a stripper..."

    FIRST DATE SECTION:

    Something simple and not too extravagant. Perhaps a day trip to Paris for some mousse au chocolat and a stroll down the Avenue des Champs-Élysées, or if we’re running short on time I’d settle for alligator wrestling instead.
    This... this I liked, a lot Your personnality is starting to come across, and that's funny, good one
    Seduction is a martial art. Reading books and talking to experts is important, and helpful. But you won't progress unless you go out there and fight.

  7. #7
    cinemaLA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need some advice on my profile pros- HELP

    Great advice. I think I really need to sit down and work this out again. After making a test profile myself I've just realized that people aren't BS'ing when they say that girls get ridiculous amounts of messages online. I mean absurd ridiculous amounts.

    Looks like I've got some work to do.

  8. #8
    cinemaLA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need some advice on my profile pros- HELP

    I've amended my profile a bit based on your recommendations. Please let me know your thoughts.

    Does it seem more Alpha?
    Do you get a better sense of who I am?

    HEADLINE:

    The guy your mother warned you about

    ABOUT ME SECTION:
    I'm going to save you all the long flowery adjectives, that's not my style. Actions speak louder than words so I'll let those do the talking for me.

    I grew up on the endless sandy beaches of Miami. Living in the Caribbean really spoiled me with good music, delicious Cuban food and a deep appreciation for culture and beauty, not to mention a few incredible hurricane parties. I've had the same friends for years and hold loyalty as one of the most important qualities a person can posses. When you have good people in your life you treat them right and let them know it. I've found success in an industry most only dream about and I fight fiercely to keep making incredible stories that will move peoples passions. I believe you get back what you put out in this world so I try to never hold back and never shy away where others have failed.

    I stay up way too late way too often. There's something truly magical about the night that I find addicting. Anything can happen and mystery surrounds you.

    About you: You enjoy the evening as much as I do, you're passionate and not afraid to express it, you're artistic but not necessarily an artist, you're a romantic at heart and not afraid to dream, you're feminine with a good sense of style and your eyes sweep me away with their beauty and depth. They are, after all, the window to the soul. I know those are some big shoes to fill but, if you fit, I'd love to have you along for the ride and make our already great lives that much better.

    FIRST DATE SECTION:

    Something simple and not too extravagant. Perhaps a day trip to Paris for some mousse au chocolat and a stroll down the Avenue des Champs-Élysées, or if we’re running short on time I’d settle for alligator wrestling instead.


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