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  1. #1
    lets go 23 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Think She Is Losing Interest? or Hard to Get?

    So met this girl through a mutual girlfriend that hangs out with my group of friends - about a month and half ago.

    We always go out with her group of friends every weekend everyone has a good time. One weekend, she started to show heavy interest and we hit it off and got her in the sack - blacked out but closed it.

    After that, she starts texting me heavy and we start to hang out maybe once a week - she works in retail so she has weird hours. The context of her texts are like, had a such a great time, cant wait to hang out again, never had a guy make me laugh like that in a long time, etc. My responses showed interest but reserved.

    And then maybe two weekends later, closed her again. The same texting happens again, good morning texts, good night texts. I would say we both initiated convo evenly and spaced out, days in between. she would always suggest to hang out but sometimes would cancel last minute.

    So recently, I just text her good morning like usual, but did not get a response - she is usually pretty good at responding in a reasonable time frame. Didnt hear from her for about a week. Found out she lost her phone - she got it back last sunday and she texted me to see what i was up to. i asked what her week looked like adn she said we maybe could hang out on the following monday. i said that was fine with me. that day, she said she couldnt make it. i said ok, let me know when a better time would be for her, considering her schedule. she said ok. she also mentioned she has been really busy lately and something is always coming up. i said, thats life, not an issue.

    so i didnt text her for a few days and sent her this today - serious problem, getting really bored cooking breakfast for one. she loves breakfast and we always talk about getting some. no response all day.

    Early on, one night we were hanging out, she asked me what i wanted with us hanging out, she said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend and i said i'm having fun now, taking it day by day. kissed and stayed close the rest of the night. she is coming out of a real bad relationship so i can see that.

    Everything has been going well up to this point, i haven't really been showing neediness or pushing anything. but as the last two weeks, i have noticed that she has backed off, not as much txts or the context of the texts have toned down. maybe the last text was too much? maybe i am challenging my self to get her to be my gf? i dunno. she is fun and like spending time but i really cant get a read on the situation.

    anyone provide any insight?

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Think She Is Losing Interest? or Hard to Get?

    Is it safe to assume that she is really the only woman you're banging right now?

    Things die down. It's natural. Plus she is coming out of a relationship so who knows what feelings she is going through. You closed multiple times so I'd take it as a good thing and just keep things casual. It may be time to find another conquest and just let her come to you whenever she's ready. Don't read too much into her actions or you'll drive yourself nuts. Realize that this is normal and since a relationship isn't the next step then it'll likely turn into a booty call relationship or FWB.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
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    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Think She Is Losing Interest? or Hard to Get?

    Yeah that whole DTR (define the relationship) talk she initiated with asking you what you wanted - either she was looking for a FWB situation or she was looking for this to be a "one time thing" - even though y'all did it twice

    Since she got neither clear answer she might be getting a little bit of ASD and backing off, but I think Batman is right in not to read too much into it.

    I'd suggest you to not text her much for a bit then send her something like that you want it to just be a one time thing between you and let's hang out again. Then DON'T seduce her that day.

    Either, that's actually what she wanted - which means y'all will hang out more and probably bone
    OR
    She actually wanted a FWB situation and telling her the "one time thing" thing will raise her attraction for you.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  4. #4
    lets go 23 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Think She Is Losing Interest? or Hard to Get?

    Saw her last night. My plan was not to pay much attention to her but I think she had the same game plan. She was having fun with her friends and I was doing my thing with the occasional breif chat. Whenever we did get close, there was physical touching but nothing more that that - ie she touching me on my arm. But for the most part, not even close what her attention to me was prior. She used to be all up around me...

    Then at the end of the night, I got her and her group of friends a cab and I was sending them home but she got out when I didn't get in. It was packed car...

    Anyways while we wait for another cab, I chat her up and ask her a out her week and such...tells me all about it...she was pretty busy for the most part. Then, we talk some more in the cab ride and I pretty much try to set up a day next week to chill. She says she doenst know her work schedule yet...finds out on Sunday. I suggest we go see this movie and she expressed that she really would like that. Also she said why I never come cover to her place, (she invited me once but I was working) and I said becsuse I don't invite myself over and she mentioned that time she did invite me. I mentioned she hasn't invited me since then and I am not a type of person to intrude on personal space. We get to her place and she hugs me and kisses me on the cheek... Used to be a actual kiss. She was fumbling around to find her keys just prior. Anyways at this point my brain tells me it's a lost cause so I didn't make any moves.

    I text her when I get back to my place saying "did you get into your place ok?" Because she didn't have her front door key only the back alley door. She replies fairly quickly and says "I did. Thank youuuuuu " the i reply with "sleep tight, glad I finally got to steal some time away with you finally. " she replies with "".

    So that's where this is at. Never been really this confused before. I know the past me would
    Of asked her friends what was up but I know better not to and showed alot of self
    Control even when I was hammered. Lemme know what you guys think and what my plan should be. 90% chance I see her again tonight. Thanks.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Think She Is Losing Interest? or Hard to Get?

    Sounds like it's time to jumpstart the attraction. Rejecting her on something may add that spark back. As long as there is hope involved.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
    lets go 23 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Think She Is Losing Interest? or Hard to Get?

    What do you suggest? Any basic game plan appreciated.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Think She Is Losing Interest? or Hard to Get?

    Look into disqualifiers and push/pull. Cat String Theory as well. Really wrap your head around these concepts. These are mostly in the moment type tactics so you can't plan for them necessarily. You just have to absorb the Mindset and use it on the fly. But here are a few examples:

    - (this actually happened to me recently) We were at the bar with loud music and I told my female friend, in front of the girl I was hooking up with at the time, that because we have been friends for awhile that I don't see her in that way. That she does not give me a boner. What does she do? She says that's a challenge and throughout the night she grinds on me and moans in my ear trying to give me a boner. I truly don't see her that way, but it's a bit of insight into what a little rejection can do.

    - Now this'll be really, REALLY tough. But if she makes a suggestion to spend time together after your night out say yes. But FLAKE. Tell her you got caught up or that you are too tired. Just make sure you agree to it first, then just before...you cancel. It'll drive her nuts.

    - Classic: Flirt with other women in front of her. But don't do it in a douchebag way. She'll become rebellious and you'd just be making it harder on yourself. Do your best to not make it seem like you're rubbing it in her face and give her attention here and there for reassurance, in a way. It's called preselection. If she knows you'll go with other women if she's not doing her job keeping your attention she'll feel that spike of attraction.

    When you in the moment just have these questions in mind throughout your interaction.

    Can I twist this into some form of rejection?

    How can I push/pull after what I just said/did?

    Negative space is just as important as positive. Give her that empty negative space whenever possible. (ie. walking away to talk to other people)
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  8. #8
    lets go 23 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Think She Is Losing Interest? or Hard to Get?

    Y'all think I'm making the right moves and in a good spot?

  9. #9
    Stranded In Suburbia is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Think She Is Losing Interest? or Hard to Get?

    Gotta say this seems like the kind of conversation a 7th grader would have. this chick has slept with you a couple of times and has probably already moved on. It's the reverse Cat String Theory applied to you. She gave you your prize and now is hoping you will drift off.

    if she was digging you there would be no question.

    Delete her emails and phone numbers and start over. Life is short. She is just not that into you. Say "thank you" first though. See it for what it was, a pleasant and all too brief moment in your life that you will back on fondly, years from now.


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