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  1. #1
    jonsteve is offline PUA in Training
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    Default self control help

    Hey i need help with self control when it comes to texting.

    When im physically with a girl im fine, and im usually fine texting her when things are going well.

    however, when something bad happens e.g (plans get cancled - even for a good reason, no response, half-hearted responses) i cant seem to control myself.

    I am not with her so i cant just keep her attracted the ways in which i like.

    I end up teting too much, caring about what she texts and saying stupid stuff. i also cant stop looking at my phone. it drives me mad and i end up ruining alot of relationships or potential ones this way.

    Please help - how can i learn self control when im not physically with a girl?

  2. #2
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: self control help

    Could help to work on your inner game a little. Not receiving text messages back in a time frame you sent them can undoubtedly be frustrating, but having the expectation to get them back all the time and quickly can point out a deeper insecurity. With the girl you receive instant feedback, but with text the feedback can be stretched across a much longer time than preferred.

    Might help to expand the amount of time you take to text them. Instead of instantly texting, make a conscious effort to wait 20 or even 10 minutes. Then as you wait for a reply, reassure yourself that it was a good text and tell yourself something could easily be replied on her part.

    The game itself says to start talking to more women so your mind is occupied by another girl. Which could work great but isn't always so easily applied. I know it sounds a little off the wall, but psychological methods, CBT in particular, say to tell yourself something aloud contradictory to your inner belief (in this case, the worry about a bad text). Maybe try this for a while, while expanding your response time, and see if you mind can start slowing down.

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