so ive been dating (i thought exclusively) with a girl for almost five months. we met in feb although it was a little while before we termed it a relationship. turns out she has a boyfriend for three years in another country. (I live in Colombia, the other dude lives in Italy). Apparently they have plans to get married and who knows what else, he's promised her a better standard of living and everything, she finally came clean about it all. I told her that I was willing to forgive her but that the she had to say she would leave him and do it and then things which she had been hesitant about (like facebook pictures together, introducing me to her family, etc) had to change. none of that stuff bothered me that much but i see them as essential to rebuilding trust.
note that she actually hasnt seen the guy since we've been together. I feel used a good bit although she did say she loved me and it wasnt like that (and I do believe her although she was clearly getting satisfaction she was missing). I basically told her you can decide to be with me right now and end it with him. she says she wants to but is too scared to lose out on all those things they have planned. i told her i couldnt promise her anything (now granted im from the states so while I dont know what this guy has or has offered, if hes a real baller or not, I mean i can offer opportunities if it makes it there). she left and I told her the only way she enters my life again is to show me she ended it with this guy.
is there any point in even trying even if she does that? i care about her a lot and was almost shocked beyond the ability to be pissed when she told me. i was clear that the first condition to even consider continuing was to end it with him and then it would be a process and one where i couldnt promise anything in rebuilding trust and possibly having the potential for a future.