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  1. #1
    tommymac22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Arrow did I miss escalation, how to proceed

    Hey guys been lurking these forums for a while now and decided to get some advice beyond the brilliant guides you have.

    this is a conversation im currently having with a girl I met in a club on thursday night, I dont ever remember giving her my number but we did dance and spend all night together, I dont th8ink I kiss closed but then I never usually remember much

    Here is the conversation:

    Friday afternoon:
    Her - oi you x

    me - Wa have I done now x

    her - Not sure you tell me? I was just being nice and saying hello ☺ x

    me - haha klkl, hellooo x

    her - Feeling rough?x

    me - absolutely terrible wbu? x

    her - Same cant even deal with hangovers they destroy me

    me - i knoww im too old for it all noww :x

    her - Naww getting into an old bore are you?x

    Me - yhh but i can still bust the moves x

    her - Won't argue you can throw some shapes! Easy to keep up though

    me - all gets rather messy after a few drinks x

    her - It does yes lmfao x

    Me - so will we be showing walsalls finest how to dance next week :P x

    her - We sure will

    me - glad my comfort food is healthy otherwise I think id be over 20stone with how much im eating to recover :/ x

    ^^ initially that was speed messaging then I waited before I sent messages around and hour and she would insta reply. After that message though she didnt reply again until sunday morning

    her - Only seen this just

    ---

    Not sure how I should proceed now, any help will be much appreciated

  2. #2
    ShoreGuy28's Avatar
    ShoreGuy28 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: did I miss escalation, how to proceed

    Am I missing something with all the "x"'s at the end of your texts? I'd love to help but very confused by your post. Maybe it's just me though...
    "She'll forgive you for being a man...but she WON'T forgive you for being a p*ssy"

  3. #3
    tommymac22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: did I miss escalation, how to proceed

    Quote Originally Posted by ShoreGuy28 View Post
    Am I missing something with all the "x"'s at the end of your texts? I'd love to help but very confused by your post. Maybe it's just me though...
    Ok first ill clear it up, i wrote it on my phone so apologies if it doesn't make sense.

    Basically I met this girl thursday night, then the following day she messages me. I reply a few times and want to know how to proceed! Id also like to know how I could improve what i've already written for the future.

    For example should I look to ask her on a date now or try and learn more about her?

    With regard to the kisses "x", she did it in the first message so i decided to just do the same when i sent messages, is this bad?

    Hope this clears things up abit more.

  4. #4
    Wolf24's Avatar
    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: did I miss escalation, how to proceed

    It all depends on your attraction level on your first meeting. We'll probably be needing a bit more detail about the night you guys had rather than your texting.

    If you attracted her mildly, you need to continue on attraction via texts before asking her out on a date. If you got attraction covered, you're probably safe to snatch a date but she might still flake on you because this time you might not have built enough comfort. Some girls wants to build comfort on a date while other girls wants to feel safe & connected (comfort) with a guy already before going on a date.

    Attraction = "I want this guy but I don't know him."
    Attraction + Comfort = "I want this guy."

    Wolf.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  5. #5
    tommymac22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: did I miss escalation, how to proceed

    I wish I could remember all the details but I usually drink alot to give me more confidence to approach girls
    From what I remember though, I got introduced to her through her friends who we had met in the club before, from there we made some small talk (cant remember exactly what) and then spent most of the time dancing, are there any specific things that can help determine the level of attraction, that I may have forgotten?

    I definitely believe there is some mutual attraction, Id say for sure its attraction and non/little comfort.

    "Some girls wants to build comfort on a date while other girls wants to feel safe & connected (comfort) with a guy already before going on a date."

    Is it possible to gauge this in text or best to wait until we meet again.

    ty again much appreciated.

  6. #6
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: did I miss escalation, how to proceed

    She text you first AND was pushing for more convo with you. The attraction is there. Your job is to keep it there. In my opinion you were doing fine. Let her keep chasing you and spread out your convos throughout the week so they don't get dull and she won't flake on the weekend. Oh and make sure to end the convos first. Either don't respond to a boring text she sends or tell her you talk to her later. Just make sure you end it first.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    tommymac22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: did I miss escalation, how to proceed

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    She text you first AND was pushing for more convo with you. The attraction is there. Your job is to keep it there. In my opinion you were doing fine. Let her keep chasing you and spread out your convos throughout the week so they don't get dull and she won't flake on the weekend. Oh and make sure to end the convos first. Either don't respond to a boring text she sends or tell her you talk to her later. Just make sure you end it first.
    Thanks for the help, been sending a few more messages just to keep it flowing, figured there hasnt been too many hooks for topics so she asked me what I had planned for the week and because she text at 9pm I decided to leave her hanging overnight.

    I was thinking of reply with something like this;


    Good morning ms hayfever. Its a new week and the countdown to the weekend begins ;p x

    Ms hayfever is kind of a nickname I though of to increase comfort because she mentioned she has hayfever and the weather has been good too.
    countdown to the weekend is like a small reminder that im committed to meeting this weekend.

    thoughts on this guys ty


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