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  1. #1
    Slybootsucci is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Need Advice After A Third Date Cut Short!

    So I went on an amazing first date with this girl I met on match (dating site), and had been texting for like a week.

    The first date was so good she woke up saying how she dreamed I had kissed her at the end.

    So of course we set up date 2 and started to kiss near the end. We got pretty hot, no sex tho (she wasnt going to that time).

    She seemed really happy, cuddled up and rested her head on my chest and such.

    All is well right? But, she barely texted me back after that and I had to really try to get a third date, but she was busy and tired mostly and it didnt seem like she didnt want to, just wasnt beaming about the next opportunity like I was.

    So we finally meet tonight to go bowl and she kind of makes it weird to kiss her cuz shes waiting in the line already so I give her a hug and this awkward stance after like "i want to kiss you but this is way too weird now" so I just laugh at my idoicy and start talking to her and waiting instead.

    Shes texting her mom while we play, says shes being guilted about watching a tv show. It seemed super genuine (good?), like "dont worry it's not any random person or friend, I dont want you to think that, because I like you". At least thats how I'd like to read it haha, considering she was texting her mom our first date too, for real tho.

    Then she starts to get a wicked headache apparently. It did look painful and she was holding her head alot and wincing :/. I managed to get a kiss out of the situation, though brief. (good?) But then she wanted to go home was the thing. She had said she'd probably have to go home if it got worse and it did soo ://

    She did have a moment of embarrassment too like "i feel terrible about leaving". I tried to play it cool so I teased her about it a few times as we walked to her car and she assured me if it was a different reason she would say so. (good?)

    I gave her another kiss and we smooched for a minute then I said "we'll have to get together soon" and she did agree and I mean she was kissing me and kind of grabbing my front pocket during it (good?).

    I go home. Text her a joke (Headache Puppy meme lmao "Im SO cute, I give MYSELF a headache" funny right? Fits a sassy girl, which she is). She responded like "Thanks?" but that's just her really lol.

    So I tell her to feel better and goodnight. No response...no big, she does have a headache after all and I didnt ask anything really so it didnt really require a response.

    But then I check the match site, and shes online...for the past 2 hrs now!!!!!!!

    Sigh...what gives!? Very hard to get. What is my next move? I'm thinking just go silent for a few days, let her see that without me around there's little affection coming from those around her besides a bunch of online horndogs who apparently I have outdone all of them so far, thats what she said on the first date at least and no one else made it to #3. I guess I didnt either yet though...more like 2.5. HOW CAN I SEAL ANOTHER!? I like this girl alot, she's extremely cute and nice and has a great sarcastic attitude and way about life.

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Advice After A Third Date Cut Short!

    You should never have to WORK hard for a 2nd, 3rd date etc. It should be very easy to set up. The minute she makes it difficult is the first clue that you get that something is wrong.

    At that point I would have backed off in my communication with her. Then when she did contact me I would run some cocky funny stuff. When the communication is at a high point you could invite her out. Don't ask her just tell her what you are going to be doing and she could join you. Never make it look like you are chasing a woman. You will look needy and desperate. Woman HATE that, usually they can smell it from a mile away. Don't be that AFC that does that. Be prepared to walk away from her because it's her loss.

    Always remember that you are the prize and she is the lucky one that gets to spend time with you.

  3. #3
    Slybootsucci is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Advice After A Third Date Cut Short!

    This helps a ton. But I guess my other question is, what's my best move from here, and more importantly, do you think she's still interested?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Need Advice After A Third Date Cut Short!

    It's strange. I get this feeling that she might have actually faked the headache to get out. But that's really just shooting in the dark with speculation lol.

    Honestly, just back off and let her come to you. She may not be in the mood to hangout right now, but that doesn't mean it's because of you.

    You know how many times I would be good with a girl then all of a sudden it would seem like she lost interest? I would beat my head over what happened. What did I do WRONG!? (Psh. Punk) Only to find out that she found out her ex was dating someone, or that she had to find a new to place live cause she was getting kicked out, she got pregnant by someone, or some other drama that has NOTHING to do with you.

    Just freezeout and she will come to you when she's ready. But that doesn't mean to wait for her. If I were you, I'd keep my options open until she showed me how serious she was.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    Slybootsucci is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Advice After A Third Date Cut Short!

    I agree with everything here that you said. And yes she is out of a breakup 3months ago and is moved out looking for a place and paying the old rent still too. I mean yah, she is mad busy, but I guess what I'm worried is that, if a guy was suddenly a bit overbearing like I was and sent a few awkward marathon texts but didnt follow up either just left them at that, then would she be AT ALL still interested?

    Also, if she's that busy or still interested why is she logging into match like the moment she awakes, then when she gets back from work and until bed. Lol. I mean shit I do that cuz it's on my phone and because I'm trying to get more numbers now and get the fark over it. But then wouldn't that mean she's doing the same lol?

    I'm interested to see how it pans out really. I'm leaning hard towards I fucked it hahaha. But I also agree there's a good chance it's all okay. after all, she was sweatin how she didnt get a kiss the first date and then I had her shuddering during the make out sesh on the second. Shit I don't care how bad the kisses are, and I'm positive I'm not bad but if she shudders fark off that cant be the reason haah. Only reasons I can imagine are me just trying to contact her once or twice a day each day after and having said some strange things once or twice. And then me giving her a marathon dhv text a day after our third date at the end of a brief convo, or last but not least: the awkward attempt at a double ended joke about mundane convo and wanting to talk about something awesome like the universe...or zombies..(since she likes zombies lol).

    Oh man the more I think about that text the more it hurts, the AFC was EATING me alive.

    Maybe I'm just behind the scenes stressing where she doesn't notice thankfully. Shitty inner game LOL but the one's I really want to get exclusive with will always have me somewhat stressed. I like the thrill at first and my inner game is immaculate, and then I'm just like okay, tell me at least once you like me and want to take it further and then I won't worry a bit from there, and they don't - and I don't ASK, so I just start to dwindle. It's like the surefire way to destroy my inner game on the spot. Is to stop giving me affection. Not attention, not communication, I just want the slighest bit of affection. They will always start of giving low doses of it then amp it up, then just go completely DRY. Not even a drop. So awful, if we could go back to low doses from there I'd be bedding women like crazy. So what is it? I feel close to figuring out the biggest flaw. But how do I fix this?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Need Advice After A Third Date Cut Short!

    To attempt to simplify it, it seems that they get bored. Right around the time that you like them you may show a bit more interest and then they back off out of boredom. This is really a shot in the dark my friend.

    Usually if it has anything to do with boredom or them changing their behavior from before, where the sparks seem to die out, has to do with attraction.

    Attraction is so broad so it's almost too easy an answer if that's all I say. The basic elements are (thanks to Adam Lyons) :

    - Always leave them wanting more

    - Be unpredictable in your personality

    - Once you have enough comfort and routine...break it.

    These are essential elements to understand about attraction. If you can bring these feelings back from before you're well on your way.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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