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  • 1 Post By Jts3443

Thread: How to progress the conversation?

  1. #1
    Jsmith8988 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How to progress the conversation?

    Well..I've been talking to this girl on okcupid. She has no picture because she claimed she didn't feel comfortable putting them up.I used a couple of recon profiles and I believe she's legit. Plus.. the fact that she didn't reply to my recon profiles and responded to mine makes me give her the benefit of the doubt also. I actually took the time to read her profile and making nice first line and then commenting on some aspects of her profile.

    We've been talking the past couple or so days but this was the last two replies (won't post the first couple of messages).

    Me:"Hmm, it seems like I've officially dubbed a new nickname for you. It's called a running energizer bunny, cause you're always running around doing something! :P

    Ah oh, a Giants, Devils and Nets fan? There's definitely a problem brewing in the air at the moment! At least you're a fan of the Yankees

    Also, do you happen to watch Grey's Anatomy? I figure since you're going to be a doctor, you might find that show intriguing. It's one of the best shows on TV by far. Just offering a great show suggestion! Also, I'm surprised you didn't mention The Notebook when you listed movies you've seen. Females always seem to have that movie #1! :P"

    Her: "I've never seen Greys anatomy lol, neither the entire notebook movie lol. Never got a chance to haha. & lol sorry I just like those teams because I grew up watching them."

    I can see the conversation heading to a lot of stagnation and Fluff now. Basically, where should I take this conversation? Considering going for a Number Close, or maybe asking for a private picture.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to progress the conversation?

    There's probably a lot of opinions on where to go from there.

    I'd say asking for the pic is a good idea, if you phrase it right. Something like "I like to see who I am talking to" or teasingly like "no girlie movies? I gotta make sure you're really a girl and not some 300lb trucker dude who needs a shower, can never be too sure on this site :P " or something like that, be creative yet playful. it's good because it makes her have to qualify herself to you. only give her an additional picture of yourself once she is compliant, but do reward her if she does something good like send you a picture. always reward the behavior you would like to see more of, never reward behavior you don't like.

    i'd say a little more comfort before going for the number, but since I'm only seeing the tail of the conversation, i could be wrong, maybe you're there. if the IOIs are / have been there then go for it.

    better yet, go for a chat screenname, yahoo messenger or whatever before the number. switching from different modes of communication is kinda like switching venues with her when you're out on the town: it gives the illusion of familiarity and more time passing than has.

    a little Fluff is good. definitely don't let the conversation die or get boring, always be moving in the direction of your goal. ask open ended questions when you do ask questions, not just yes/no questions. yes/nos sound too much like an interview or interrogations, as does asking too many questions. a few well chosen open ended questions give her an opportunity to talk more and the freedom to be expressive. people like to talk, and rapport is built if they feel you're really listening. it's a good opportunity to get in her head and know things you can use later to get the responses you want, too.

    be sure not to talk about yourself excessively, and when you do talk about yourself to make sure you sound like a fun, interesting, busy person. the usual dhv thing.

    if the conversation looks like it's going to end, make sure you end it first, but leave an opening to go back to it later. and giving her a task to do in the meantime usually works as another qualifier. like "gotta go, making pasta for a bunch of friends tonight, they can't get enough of this stuff! send me your best recipe and we'll test it against mine :P"

    the "gotta go but leave me your number so we can txt later" close works if you've reached a good point, but sometimes it's better to do the Number Close with a specific event.

  3. #3
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to progress the conversation?

    Oh and BTW, maybe you could take a look at my question on another thread, or see if you can get people to give me some advice... first time I've put up a thread that no one has responded to... weird... maybe it's in the wrong category? how do you change that or delete it? thanks!
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-text-gi...my-number.html

  4. #4
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to progress the conversation?

    IMO you babbled on way to much. Look at how long and drawn out your message is and compared to the briefness of her response. When chatting with women LESS IS MORE. Each one of your paragraphs should have been followed by a response from her, never double text and try to keep it to a one subject response. You're all over the place talking about sports TV movies and nicknames all in one fell swoop, your going to A. Overwhelm the girl B. come off ass over talkative and beta and C. Run out of shit to talk about real soon. Imagine how much longer that conversation could have lasted if you'd cut that down into snippets and waited for her to respond. For example :
    You: a devils giants and nets fan, there's a problem brewing.
    Her: haha I like them cuz I grew up watching them
    You: well at least your a Yankees fan
    Her: haha yea my dad was a Yankees fan
    You: that's your new nickname than
    Her : what is?
    You: (insert clever nickname relating to Yankees)

    Now obviously I just made this up but see how offering bits and pieces makes it more exciting ?
    Give her a snack, not the whole kitchen.
    Eventually just find a teasing way to get a picture number or date. Maybe tease her about how she's a mystery girl.


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