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  1. #1
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default 3rd date with an all around 10, suggestions?

    Guys, I'd like your suggestions on how to now handle this with this new girl I've been starting to see. I met her a month or two back, number closed, she texted me right away that night displaying plenty of interest. We set up a date a couple days later, and casually had some drinks together and talked. Went well, she seemed excited before heading home that night (no fooling around this time, more of the traditional dating route for a change, for better oworse). We tried making plans again over the next couple weeks but they kept falling through on her end due to work, med exams, moving, etc. During this time I did not overdo it with the texting, but when we did text she still seemed to keep an element of light interest.

    Finally we got together last night for another date. Took a walk, got some drinks at a few bars along the way, headed back to my place and sat outside for awhile longer just chatting. Suggested several times that she could just stay over, however she nicely declined each time saying that she was just planning on staying with her friend tonight. I went in for it and made out with her for a few seconds (nothing fancy, but nice), talked a little more and then wished her off calling it a night.

    I was really happy with the date. Even though we didn't sleep together, it felt like things were progressing and we were connecting while talking etc, and got the kiss in there (slowly moving things in the right direction). She give me all kinds of signs of interest while we talk. From talking about us hanging out into the future, asking about family and personal things, smiling/eye contact with me, just overall I can tell she likes me. Only problem is that she is in a spot right now where her schedule is VERY busy and clashes with mine (which we talked about as well). At the end she said "hopefully we can get together alot sooner than this last time". Now don't get me wrong I've had plenty of dates where we had sex the first night, but this just hasn't had that feel. Feels more like she's classier than that and I kind of like it, seems like long term material to me. In my experience, girls that I've had sex with too quickly never turn out or last, where the girls that take some time to come around are the keepers. Just my thoughts.

    This girl is seriously a 10 for me, exaclty what I'm looking for (as far as I see so far) as long term material. I want to keep things progressing, but it's a little hard when you might only be able to hang out once a week or even every other. Maybe this will just pick up naturally but I don't want to mess it up by pushing to hard.

    I have not texted her yet today. But I was thinking of a quick "last night was awesome" later on tonight if I don't hear anything from her. I think the anwswer to my own questions are kind of easy.... but any suggestions or reinforcement on how I should proceed with this? Again, I want to keep things progressing, but I don't want to overdo it either as I have on occasion in the past..

    RP

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: 3rd date with an all around 10, suggestions?

    Don't text her "last night was awesome." You'll reveal that you've been thinking about it all day. Showing more interest in her than she is in you is risky stuff.

    So you suggested several times for her to stay over and you still gave her a kiss after her declining? And you're on date 3 without f-closing? Maybe you've become the dreaded "nice guy" lol. Nice guys keep pulling for more and more. Trying to do nice things so that you can get "the goods." Which would naturally get you to think she's a classy lady due to her resistance.

    You need some push/pull in there. Get her chasing you by setting yourself up as a challenge.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 3rd date with an all around 10, suggestions?

    Gotcha. I don't try to come across as the nice guy, and I doubt I have too much, but it's possible to some extent. I think I've acted pretty good so far to be honest. I can only present myself as so much of a challenge, because of scheduling issues. If I played games and blew her off when she's available, or never texted her I doubt we would even be able to get together. When I do text her out of the blue she always says something like "I was just thinking how we haven't talked in awhile".

    So I do kind of get The Vibe that she likes the guy as the pursuer more than others iv dated. But I could be wrong.

    And the f close 3rd date thing? I've f closed plenty of first dates. I don't think it's a good judge of the situation as to how quickly you bang. I know a friend who didn't bang for 2 years... And married the girl. Not my deal, just saying. Some of the real keepers don't want to jump in bed with someone the first couple dates understandably... Especially when they think it might be something more worthwhile as well (I've had girls tell me this).

    I'm just trying to figure how to strike the balance between showing lack of interest on my end and not overdoing it.. Always hard

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: 3rd date with an all around 10, suggestions?

    I agree about the scheduling. That's not likely a wise choice to play around with that. But when you are together you could say things like "Don't think just because you took me to dinner that you'll get something out of it." Be playful and make yourself the prize. She has to earn YOU. She has to work to get to sleep with YOU. Keep these things in mind. And make sure to qualify her. Have in mind "I like her. But what makes her so different. I don't want to invest my time in someone I don't like. I wonder what her unique traits are." Filter your behavior through this Mindset and it'll help you in seeming like a challenge because you will be constantly giving her a vibe that you like her, but that you aren't won over yet. And that's very attractive.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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