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Thread: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

  1. #11
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    Batman- thanks for your input, you guys are awesome. After I said no worries and went to sleep I did re establish normal contact the next day and sent her a few flirty messages but it just seems that its not the same so like you said I'm going to qualify her and try to build comfort, her putting herself out there was an obvious cry for comfort and I can't believe I missed it, I was just really drunk (after all it was national tequila day). I know she's out tonight so hopefully we will keep up normal contact and if not, like you said its a learning experience, it just sucks losing a keeper because of your own ego. Do you have any ideas of how I could boost comfort/rapport/qualification in this scenario?

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    Well I know a good way to build rapport is to show her that you understand her world.

    One time I had a conservative girl over. Her body language was distant. I could've interpreted as disinterest, but decided to interpret it as shyness and maybe discomfort.

    So I began to tell her about how it sucks to put yourself out there for someone to break your heart. That you would think that if someone was cheated on, they would know that pain and wouldn't do it to someone else. (referring to an ex gf of mine who I speculated cheated on me but never confirmed) So she nods her head in agreement and I get a little closerv.

    I then tell her that it's so rare to find someone you can open up to and trust. Followed by telling her I don't know why I'm telling her all this. That maybe there was something about her that drew me to her. Then I kissed her. F-closed that night and she became my gf for several months after that. Maybe this is something you could use.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #13
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    Thanks for the advice and ill have to use it next time but I think I'm going to have to chalk this one up to a learning experience which sucks because I played it perfectly up until the moment after the kiss rejection. I mean I recovered quickly but it still just caused a bad vibe between us and broke the sexual Tension and caused bad vibes and awkwardness instead of the great emotions I had associated with me before that moment. I followed up and text her the next day to reward her for opening up, saying she liked me and apologizing for making the date awkward, but she just isn't as responsive. In hindsight I should have immediately rewarded her for opening up but instead i shut her down and i really think that may have been the straw that broke the camels back, i could be wrong though, she may still be interested. I understand building comfort in person would solve this but I don't think there's going to be a third date, I'm really just not sure at this point how to set up a third date with her. So this is what I need to figure out, how to reverse the effects of shutting down after she opened up and getting her to come on a third date despite what happened, how would you go about getting her on a third date given the circumstance ?

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    As for your question, as I have posted in many threads, is first of all don't overthink this. Don't overanalyze this. There is a tendency for many PUA technique trained/informed w/e ppl to do this. It's a form of anxiety and not true confidence. But it's okay. It happens to the best of us.

    As I posted earlier, as for setting up another date with her, just throw it out there and not have any expectations. Don't plan anything big. Just "Fire and Forget." Say something to the extent of "Hey, what's your schedule like this week. I'm going to [xx]" Just keep her in the back of your mind. There is nothing needy and AFC about it.

    BatMan gave a fine example on how to "indirectly" tell her you fvcked up without looking AFC.

    So she is not as responsive, but she is still responsive. Although it is a lesson, I don't think it is a lost cause. A girl's attraction is fleeting as a rollercoaster ride. I've been in situations where a girl is really attracted to me and then goes cold. Happens man. It comes and goes. Sometimes, we don't know why it goes and overthinking it doesn't help, but all one should be focused on is getting it back or keeping it there.

    If she is a keeper, then it doesn't hurt to keep trying. Because what IF that person is an integral part of your life long term. You don't know. A man does what a man can until his destiny is revealed to him.

  5. #15
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    Thanks I.M.Mortal an batman, I used a nice mix of both of your advice. She text me this morning saying she didn't remember what we talked about last night because she was drinking at a birthday, so I replied with a qualifier involving a funny "secret story" I had from the night befor , told her it had to be a secret and asked if she was trustworthy , she replied that she was trustworthy and I wrote back " you do seem like a really trustworthy and honest girl, which reminds me the other night when you sent me that message I was busy tryin to get three of my drunk girlfriends home, I wasnt just trying to brush you off. And I was never mad at you, if that's what you thought that wasn't my intention, I was just busy, and I actually like the fact that you didn't "act slutty" it shows that you respect yoursf and that's not something many girls I meet can say, I had fun hanging out with you BUT you're going to need to brush up on your cooking skills if you want to hang in ". I know it was a little long of a message but it qualified her, set some comfort, I complimented her on something unique (her self respect), was authentic and rewarded her for being open and honest AND I don't think I came off as needy because I was busy making sure my girlfriends were safe (which is actually true and I think comes off as very alpha) and I even capped it off with a little qualifying tease (I'm a really good cook and made dinner on our second date), she responded a few minutes later with a flirty text message basically saying lucky she learned a new recipe today, but she didnt bring up anything else I said. I teased her that she still never made me the first meal she still owed me and she laughed and than told me that she was sorry for not texting me much last night but she had gotten really drunk at her friends birthday, we exchanged a few more text before she went to work (she can't text there) what do think about the message I sent her ? It covers most of what you guys said without coming of as AFC I think and I think her responses were positive they seemed more authentic, longer and a lot more interested, it seemed like the air had kind of cleared after I sent that.

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    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    Try not to confuse showing vulnerability with being needy. It's easy to confuse the two.

    Many guys on the forum stay away from anything that has to do with showing emotions and that's just silly. We are not football jocks with mindsets like "I never cried to Titanic" or some shit. We are Pickup Artists! Masters of emotions. Use them to your advantage. Showing vulnerability opens up doors to build some MAJOR rapport with a woman and only increase your chances of sleeping with her. Being NEEDY is when a woman shows you DISinterest while you continue to show interest in her. Not the same thing.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #17
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    It's very easy to confuse neediness and vulnerability, and comfort is my worst stage. What do you think about our last exchange after I took your advice ?

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    Amen. Vulnerability is a science in itself. Something I'm still trying to master and the key to it is acceptance. Accepting and embracing your insecurities/flaws.

    Me, personally, I like what you did with the secret story. Except, I probably would've called her after pinging her with that hey "I have something I wanted to entrust you with." You can gauge a person better than a wall of text and it conveys confidence.

    As for tweaking what you said, I'm not the best person to ask on that matter. Perhaps BatMan can give better clarity on it.

    Ultimately, what really matters is the results and how she felt. If you feel the air has been cleared and you feel better, then roll with it. After all, you were the one with the doubts.

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    I did like how you handled it. Roughly what I would have done. But now you need comfort more than ever after saying that you respect her for what she did lol. No biggie. It can still happen. As long as she responded well that's all that matters.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  10. #20
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    I think she responded well she said well "I guess its a good thing I learned how to make homemade pizza today, keeping it classy" followed by a little emoji, and than apologized for not texting me much last night. I'm pretty sure she's with her friend who he hasn't seen in a while. Seems like a good response to me. Thanks for hanging through this with me fellas, I'm usually not this "stuck" on one girl but I had a horrible week and I think I'm letting that affect my game/confidence, rookie move I know. I just hit the gym and I feel way better now. I shouldn't have too big an issue building comfort in person I just gotta set up that third date somehow. I'm gonna let shit settle for a few days, let her miss me and hopefully she contacts me, if not ill just fire and forget sometime early next week. Again, thanks for all the help.


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