Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 23
Like Tree6Likes

Thread: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

  1. #1
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 249, Level: 4
    Level completed: 98%, Points required for next Level: 1
    Overall activity: 78.0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    61
    Points
    249
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    16

    Default Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    So I went out on a couple dates with this girl and her interest level was through the roof, she was texting me non stop and asking for second dates blah blah, on out second date I go for the kiss and she rejected and said it was only the second date. I just looked at her like what? And backed off, she thought I got mad and said she should leave, I said peace than, and calling her on her bluff she wound up staying and cuddling for a movie. I didn't text her that night or the next day and the day after she text me just saying hi, I didn't respond for about three hours and than I guess she got upset because she read it and didnt respond for hours and when she finally responded she sent an long message basis saying "I'm so sorry for making it awkward on out date but kissing usually leads to sex and I didn't want you to think I was a slut for putting out on the second date and that I thought your were mad at me because you didn't text me after the date or today, but I really like you so I text you today" I just replied with a basic no worries, I get where your coming from and went to sleep (it was 2 am) she text me back but I was sleeping so I text her today a teasing text in an attempt to set up another date and she read it and still hasn't answered as yesterday she did the same thing when she sent that overly long text. I don't know what to do with this girl, obviously her interest level is high but she's playing BS games. How should I proceed with this? I'm honestly on the verge of nexting this girl but I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. Should I call her out on her shit, wait for her to contact me or just next her or something else entirely. Any advice is appreciated

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,582, Level: 56
    Level completed: 16%, Points required for next Level: 168
    Overall activity: 55.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered5000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Cali
    Posts
    450
    Points
    6,582
    Level
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    293

    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    Man I wish I had your problems.

    She's not playing games man. Many women will say feel/say that they don't/won't sleep with a guy because they don't want to feel like a slut. This is actually PUA fundamentals. Every seasoned PUA will know this and there are many ways around this.

    The fact that she told you straight up and was honest about it is admirable because most girls wouldn't. So she just spilled to you common knowledge. You got it easy.

    So, don't call her out on her sh1t because 1) it isn't 2) it only generates bad emotions and will make her uncomfortable and that is the last thing you want her associating you with. There are various things you can do to create what is known as "plausible deniability."

    For example a common strat (used for 1st dates):
    - When planning a date, tell her to meet you at your place and you guys can go to your [date location] together.
    - When she arrives, tell her you forgot something upstairs or you need to use the bathroom or w/e and get her to come up to your room and wait.
    - After the date, invite her back over to your place telling her 'hey I got something cool you wanted to show you' [can be anything non-sexual like your stamp collection or w/e]. Since she already been to your room, she is comforted.
    - In the back of her mind, she already knows what is next on the menu. But now she has "plausible deniability" she is going to your place to see that cool thing.

    I don't know if this still applies to your situation or if she's been to your place before, but personally, I'd keep trying to escalate the relationship to a sexual level. The only thing is don't force it to the point of discomfort.

    Personally, I wouldn't worry at all about your situation. Sounds like the girl is really attracted to you, so F-closing her is going to happen at some point. There's no need to rush it unless you some desperate hornymuthafvckin nymphomaniac who needs a notch of conquest on his belt now-and-it-can't wait.

  3. #3
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 249, Level: 4
    Level completed: 98%, Points required for next Level: 1
    Overall activity: 78.0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    61
    Points
    249
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    16

    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    I don't think she's playing games with the wholent puttin out thing, I'm just talking about the texting and being hot and cold, sending me long messages spilling out her affection for me and what have you not after ignoring me for a few hours. I'm trying to get out of this area of negative emotion with her like you said but when all I said was no worries I understand after she told me she didn't look like a slut all she said back to me was "well you didn't give me very much to go off of". I'm just having trouble I guess getting out of this whole her thinking I'm mad at her and her being standoffish because she doesn't wanna put herself out there area and get her back to the positive emotions we had when we first started talking and she was all over me all the time

  4. #4
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,582, Level: 56
    Level completed: 16%, Points required for next Level: 168
    Overall activity: 55.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered5000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Cali
    Posts
    450
    Points
    6,582
    Level
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    293

    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    From what I'm gathering, alot of the stuff seems to be about 'trying to read' a woman's mind via text. You can't. And you don't want to assume what she feels. A woman's emotions changes from moment to moment.

    If you try to do this, it will drive you mad and turn you into a chump. Doubt starts creeping in, you start overthinking, and it undermines your confidence.

    The best solution is not be reactive and be authentic. If you want to cut through the BS, then call her. Texting is a poor man's form of attraction and not good in conveying context. She already likes you so if you feel the same just be authentic and say something to the extent of "Hey I really like you too. I like hanging out with you. If you thought I was upset, it's not what I wanted." We all appreciate someone who is being real.

    You also need to know what you want with this girl and how you feel in relation to how she feels. You see her as gf material or you just want to go out and have fun with her?

  5. #5
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 249, Level: 4
    Level completed: 98%, Points required for next Level: 1
    Overall activity: 78.0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    61
    Points
    249
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    16

    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    Girlfriend material, and its too late to just pop out and say I like hanging out with you and I'm not upset, and she did just text me back actually, I tried to set up a date but she said she had a 21st birthday party she had to attend so at this point I guess I'm jut gonna see if she text me within a few days to set up a date , I already did my part in trying to get a third date

  6. #6
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,582, Level: 56
    Level completed: 16%, Points required for next Level: 168
    Overall activity: 55.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered5000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Cali
    Posts
    450
    Points
    6,582
    Level
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    293

    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    I don't think it ever too late to be authentic/honest. And better now then later. It worked for me in one circumstance.

    And if you do get blown out, you got blown out being real and not playing "blind man's poker" Then you have no regrets.

  7. #7
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 249, Level: 4
    Level completed: 98%, Points required for next Level: 1
    Overall activity: 78.0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    61
    Points
    249
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    16

    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    I dig what you're saying about being authentic but after already trying to set up a date for tonight and her not being able too I feel that texting her again just to say I'm not mad at her is just kissing ass, I should have just said off the bat that I liked hanging out with her and that I wasnt mad at all. I think this ones a lost cause to be honest, at this point there's just a negative rift between us because of all the awkward exchanges between us. I really shouldn't have been stand offish after I didn't get the first kiss in my bed, than none of this would be happening, but I feel that if I try to tell this girl I like her and text her again it just puts all the power in her hands she's been hot and cold since the second date between ignoring me and telling me how much she likes me so I feel I'd only be approving of her wishy washy behavior, thanks for your advice, its really good but I think personally I should just delete her number and wait and eventually she'll contact me to set up a third date if she wants to, she had no problem asking for the second date, but at this point I went from her interest skyrocket to her feeling insecure about everything and its just a hole I don't want to have to dig myself out of, I hope that makes sense

  8. #8
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,582, Level: 56
    Level completed: 16%, Points required for next Level: 168
    Overall activity: 55.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered5000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Cali
    Posts
    450
    Points
    6,582
    Level
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    293

    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    As for "putting power into her hands" or "looking needy" or "kissing her ass looking desperate" there's alot of PUA material out there that makes guys overthink/overanalyze this. But it's real simple and it's a matter of how it's done.

    Bobby Rio, a well-known dating coach, told me that it has taken him months to get a girl out on a date because she's busy or he's busy. But there was one circumstance that the girl he was hitting up was free (after months) and finally did go out with him and went home with him.

    Having said that, if you just send a text out to her casually once in a while like "hey I'm going to [xx] tonight, you should come for [xx]" you are never in the wrong. It's more or less a "fire-and-forget" mentality and not care that you are going out of your way to plan a date. Just throw it out there without any expectations. You don't know a girl's state-of-mind or commitments at the time she receives your text.

    In the meantime, if you have the chance to go out with other girls, then by all means do it, but certainly keep her in your text/phone rotation.

    Some hardcore textbook trained PUA with the whole "alpha" salesman mentality will tell you to call her. Tell her direct and if she hesitates or gives excuses, it's a bad sign, move on.

    But it's not the case with your girl. You said so yourself that her attraction for you is out the roof, so you are not in the wrong to "mirror" her.

  9. #9
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 249, Level: 4
    Level completed: 98%, Points required for next Level: 1
    Overall activity: 78.0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    61
    Points
    249
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    16

    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    I feel you on the overthinking the not giving her power and thats exactly what I did the other night, I should have told her that I wasnt mad and than set up another date instead of acting standoffish and making her feel worse, thats my mistake. her attraction WAS through the roof, but now I feel its waning, she doesn't respond as fast or flirt as much. And it's been since she thought I was mad and especially after I didn't respond with a positive confirmation to her reaching out to tell me she was sorry, she exhibited good behavior and I punished her by continuing to be distant instead of pulling her back in. Ill keep her in my rotation but what I'm stuck on is how to break this Tension that I created and re raise her interest because its makin things unfun and too serious. I want to break the tension with out sucking up but I still think maybe a little space will do good. Does the make sense? And btw I really like your method and approach, a pua who can act natural and sincere is always above "jerk PUAs" in my book.

  10. #10
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,552, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Most PopularCommunity Award
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,151
    Points
    31,552
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts
    Rep Power
    1389

    Default Re: Very tricky situation with a conservative 8

    Listen to I.M. Mortal. He's saying alot of what I would say.

    She gave you the reason right in your hands and you're letting your ego get in the way since she rejected you.

    Don't cut her off. Don't delete her number. If you look at it closely it's actually reacting to her and that's not alpha. Be cool. She opened up to you and you still shut her down by saying "no worries." I mean, I would've done exactly the same thing. But I'd at least know she made an effort and therefore would reestablish normal contact the next day. Reward good behavior. Her opening up like that after days is VERY good and you're taking it for granted.

    You simply need more comfort. A girl saying she doesn't want to be a slut is a huge "you don't even know me as a person" sign right on her forehead. You gave off The Vibe of a player and not a PUA. Correct it by building comfort. Show her appreciation in something unique about her. Qualify her to build compliance. Get out of the attraction phase and build rapport.

    Take this as a learning experience and an opportunity to increase your skills by learning from your mistakes.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Tricky Girl - I'm New - PLEASE HELP!
    By TheFfej4 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 09-09-2012, 01:03 PM
  2. Tricky Situation (Quick Advice Needed)
    By Marvinl24 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 12-01-2011, 03:09 PM
  3. How to selectively turn guys and girls off? Super tricky!
    By shanghaikan7 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 02-22-2011, 04:38 AM
  4. Want a girl for a serious relation, but tricky situation...
    By autiste2012 in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 07-12-2010, 04:32 AM
  5. Tricky HB10...Help
    By BMQ in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 05-26-2010, 01:06 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com