Hey guys! Brand new here and just wrote an article on developing confidence & presence! I would love to hear your thoughts and answer questions that you might have!
Check it out below:
Are you ever too much in your own head? Do you feel like that nasty inner voice is constantly bringing you down and running your life?
Do you want ultimate freedom from that? To really achieve pure confidence, you have to learn, or relearn, how to be present in every moment.
We've all met people who have a certain presence about them: they seem more grounded in who they are. They're different. Most of you know call these people "naturals" with women.
Once you learn how to be present and IN THE MOMENT, your life suddenly takes on a whole new perspective. The inner voice goes away and you become self assured and truly confident.
Women will notice and building attraction will be easy and natural...just the way nature intended.
Walking home today I really had a new realization:
As long as you're in your own head, you will never become totally confident. Our thoughts are sporadic, chaotic, and uncontrollable. They control US.
And so, we become the puppet of our own mind. It uses us, instead of us using IT.
To escape from the mind, the secret is becoming PRESENT. So how do we become present?
That's what I'm going to talk about today. I have really studied this for a long time and have broken it down into easy to understand steps and ideas.
Get ready! Your success with women, in your relationships, and in all of your life depends on it.
Step 1: Expand Your Vision
Most of us walk through the world with Tension in the corners of our eyes. We develop habitual tunnel vision and only look at what is immediately in front of us.
To be more present and in the moment, start by relaxing the corners of your eyes, expanding your peripheral vision and seeing EVERYTHING around you.
Surrender to the moment. Imagine that your eyes are the screen of a movie theatre and you are simply observing everything around it.
Look at the world with a curious eye. Be alert, aware, and notice everything that is going on.
Once you get used to seeing not only what's in front of you, but expanding your peripheral vision to include EVERYTHING in your immediate reality, you will experience a shift in perspective that you never had.
Suddenly, your inner voice seems to quiet down. Why is this?
I'll tell you...
Step 2: Make Your Reality More Real Than Your Thoughts
The moment you become more present in what's going on around you, the less relevant your thoughts seem to be.
The reason our internal voice seems to dominate our world is because it seems MORE REAL than your reality. It actually BECOMES your reality!
You start seeing your world through the filter of the mind, and this is where all PUA's lose it. Focusing on what routine to use, what banter line you should say, and what you should do in every second puts our mind on overload and we lose touch with the moment.
It's tiring. It doesn't work. And it's not enjoyable.
Instead, focus 100% on the moment. Make everything you see, hear, and feel so real that when you notice a negative thought entering your mind, it will almost seem out of place.
It's really hard to describe until you experience this for yourself. But you will get this mental shift where you think:
"Here is my reality. This is what is currently so, what is going on at the moment. And here are my thoughts about it...which have nothing to do with this reality. They're irrelevant. They're not real."
Just as your thoughts can dictate your reality if you get lost in them, your reality can begin to take over the mind and run your thoughts if you choose to let it.
Mindset: Everything You See Is Nothing More Than a Combination of Light & Sound
Sounds kind of weird and abstract, right? It is. But it works!
Most of the time we are judging everything we see: making conclusions, forming beliefs, assumptions, and false ideas; all of which your mind loves to do.
Instead, clear your mind and view that world as nothing more than your collective senses interpreting light & sound. Pretend there is you...and then there's the interpretation of various light & sound.
How do you want to respond to this? It's your choice. Once you get lost in the moment and disassociate from the mind, there's a certain freedom that arises where you feel like you can do anything you want!
Step 3: Observe The Mind
There's the world you're perceiving, your reality: which is REAL.
And there's the thoughts you have in your mind: which is NOT real. You can't see them. They don't exist but in your head.
Open up your senses and become totally aware of the world around you. And THEN listen to your thoughts.
Don't lose awareness of the moment, thought. Include your mind along with your new state of presence. You will get a sense of separation between the two.
Suddenly you might think to yourself: I am in control of my thoughts. Since my thoughts are not real, and the world is, I can choose to think anything I want.
If I'm going to think at all, why not think thoughts and form beliefs that will SERVE ME in the moment?
You start to use the mind by first becoming acutely aware of your surrounding reality, and then listening to your thoughts. However, your perception of your thoughts will change. And only by experiencing this will you understand.
This is far different than listening to your mind, and forming your reality based on your thoughts. Your thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions about the world will BECOME your world if you don't first become present.
Step 4: Observe Your Body
Once you get fully immersed in the world, you can then ask yourself, "How am I responding to what I perceive?"
Practice feeling your entire body. Think of yourself as a living, breathing being. You are not a mind. You are a living body in this world. Get out of your head and into your body. One way to do this is to focus on your breath.
You are a conscious being and your only job is to perceive consciously what goes on around you. Feel your body in the moment. What are you feeling right now? Are you holding any tension in your body? Are you open to what is going on?
The moment you are closed off, tense, or not open to what is going on, consider that a sign that you are still experiencing the world through the filter of the mind.
Most of the time we hold tension in areas we are not yet even aware of. Through awareness and presence, we can for the first time become consciously aware of areas we hold tension, nervous movements, and places where we close off.
Finally realizing where you close off is the key to opening up. By being present, we can allow ourselves to be open to the world, to relax, and to expand our presence. It will make us more confident, more at ease, and more attractive to women naturally.
When You Are Present, YOU Are In Control
The moment you separate from the mind and become one with your reality is the moment you can start controlling your thoughts, body language, and steering life the way you want to.
You will be able to start playing around with thinking the kinds of thoughts YOU want to. You will start seeing the world for what it is; and recognizing that your ideas, beliefs, and thoughts have NOTHING to do with the reality you are experiencing.
With that realization you can play around with thinking new thoughts and beliefs, opening up and being confident towards whatever is. How do you want to be in response to the world around you?
Being confident is a choice when you are present. You can experiment by reacting to the world in new ways; a sense of unlimited possibility will wash over you.
And one more thing before I wrap this up: being present will take practice! You might find yourself being present as you walk down the street, but the moment you approach a girl you get nervous and get inside your head again. That's fine.
Approach as many women as possible and eventually you will be more comfortable doing so. Practice your presence with everyone you talk to, every time you approach a woman, and whenever you are doing anything.
Pretty soon you will naturally be able to remain grounded and confident no matter what the world brings at you. This is the moment you will truly have handled body language like a PUA and your game will become nothing short of unstoppable.
Recommended for Further Learning:
1. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
2. The Power of Presence by AMP (Authentic Man Program)
3. Installing Inner Game Meditation
By the way, if you like this article I will be writing a lot more I will post them here for all of your convenience! A couple of comments and shares from the blog will be really cool though if you liked this article!
I'm also open to suggestions...is everything clear and easy to understand? What did you like the most? Do you have any questions? I'll be here for awhile so I'm here to help out!