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  • 1 Post By TheGeneral
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Thread: She does not want a relationship

  1. #1
    David_1211 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default She does not want a relationship

    So I've been dating this girl for a little over 2 months now. She got out of a 3 year relationship like 6 months ago and fears getting hurt again.

    We are exclusive and all and it pretty much feels like we are in a relationship, but we are not. Every now and then she states that the last thing she wants is to be in one (she is afraid of getting hurt again), but at the same time we act like we are Boyfriend and Girlfriend. We sleep together, have sex, go on dates, and all the cute stuff.

    I'm taking things slow and seeing where they lead but I don't if you guys think this is a waste of my time.

    Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you.

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She does not want a relationship

    If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

    If you are happy, she is happy then keep it going. Why do you feel that you need to put an official label on it?

  3. #3
    PUAKevin is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She does not want a relationship

    Like Dave says, if you're happy why change anything. She might want to put a label on your "relationship" over some time.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: She does not want a relationship

    Idk man. This could be bad. It's all fine now. But once she meets someone else she can simply disappear on you without an explanation. Such as going back to the ex or met someone new.

    Then all she has to do is throw out the "Well we were never together" thing and BOOM...you look needy. I'd be careful about getting too attached to just this one. Make sure you see others.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    David_1211 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She does not want a relationship

    I just feel like by having the title closes and solidifies the relationship and how we feel about each other.

    And yeah BatMan, I know exactly what you mean and thats what makes me a bit uneasy, but I feel that my game has been spot on, specially when other guys are brought up. She'll say that other guys are cute and that she has a crush on this guy and this other guy, and some times she'll bring up times that she has done stuff with other guys (which DEFINITELY make me uncomfortable, and I've told her that she does not need to tell me and that I do not want to know), but at the same time I play it chill and laid back.

    I'll try to take the advice and try to see other people.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: She does not want a relationship

    What it sounds like to me is that she is getting all the benefits of being in a relationship without actually being in one. Therefore, she has no incentive to close the deal with you officially. You need to keep some special items in the back room but you can't let her see them until she has earned it...
    In the meantime it never hurts to date other girls.

  7. #7
    Essential17 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She does not want a relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Idk man. This could be bad. It's all fine now. But once she meets someone else she can simply disappear on you without an explanation. Such as going back to the ex or met someone new.

    Then all she has to do is throw out the "Well we were never together" thing and BOOM...you look needy. I'd be careful about getting too attached to just this one. Make sure you see others.
    I agree with what BatMan says. As much as I'd like to believe that labeling it doesn't matter, her refusal to label it shows she's not committed and could disappear. This exact situation happened with me a few months back. We checked all the boxes for being in a relationship except she never wanted to label it, and then one day she just literally disappeared. A few weeks later she asked for all her stuff back from my apartment. I played it cool but it was gut-wretching, however not as bad as it could've been had I not been keeping some of my interest in other girls at the same time.

    Don't make the same mistake I did, I lost control of the relationship and let her have it all. If you really like her, set boundaries and as nice as it feels, don't let her move into your apartment!


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