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  1. #1
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Give me feed: is my diagnosis correct?

    I met this girl some time ago, she's small and very beautiful, doing a lot of model photoshooting and with hundreds of people "following" her on FB.

    I do have an idea of a small mistake I've done (next post), but I'd appreciate if you could give me your feedback before reading my opinion


    ME
    August 6 - 2:00am
    That was quick
    Anyway, nice meeting you in Riegrovy this evening.


    HER
    August 6 10:59am
    Nice to meet you too

    ME
    August 8 5:00pm
    Enjoying the hot days in good ol' ***** T? On that wine we were supposed to take, how does your schedule look?

    HER
    August 8 5:01pm
    we can go someday. I have so much work today:/ you?

    ME
    August 8 5:10pm
    Today was easier than usual, I like easy days
    Lemme know when you have a free evening and we'll see if we can organize something


    HER
    August8 5:12pm
    ok i will write you

    ME
    August 18
    How's life T, any time left to enjoy life between work and photo shoots? On that wine were supposed to take, how does your schedule look for this week?

  2. #2
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Give me feed: is my diagnosis correct?

    It's very possible nothing would have changed, but I think a small mistake here has been the fact I said “lemme know” when actually she said “we can go one day”.

    We've only talked a couple of minutes in person, saying "let me know" was way too high risk with a girl who's very busy and in demand.

    I should have tried to set a date right there and then rather than trying to play it cool .


    Not many chances to get anything now, but how would you move, considering that not only she hasn't replied but she hasn't even read my last message.

  3. #3
    Wolf24's Avatar
    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Give me feed: is my diagnosis correct?

    You're right about your "diagnosis" but missing some additional points.

    You asked 2 questions in one message. So she answered the easier, least contributing one.

    You asked for a date twice without any changes in your convo or in your relationship.

    You used the exact same expression while asking for a date the second time.

    And maybe the most important part, you just "asked" for a date. You gave the upper hand to her because you were probably afraid that she'll flake on you if you'd set a solid time and place.

    ...

    I don't know how your initial meeting/closing was with this girl, but this chat just looks weak to me.

    You said "on that wine we were supposed to take" so I'm assuming you've talked about the date earlier. And that means you probably mentioned the date at least 3 times already. And she'll obviously take this as neediness.

    My advice is to back off a bit, Fluff talk, get her engaged in conversation without the threat of you asking her out. So she can feel comfortable chatting with you. Then push for the date again.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  4. #4
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Give me feed: is my diagnosis correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf24 View Post
    You're right about your "diagnosis" but missing some additional points.

    You asked 2 questions in one message. So she answered the easier, least contributing one.

    You asked for a date twice without any changes in your convo or in your relationship.


    You used the exact same expression while asking for a date the second time.


    And maybe the most important part, you just "asked" for a date. You gave the upper hand to her because you were probably afraid that she'll flake on you if you'd set a solid time and place.

    ...

    I don't know how your initial meeting/closing was with this girl, but this chat just looks weak to me.

    You said "on that wine we were supposed to take" so I'm assuming you've talked about the date earlier. And that means you probably mentioned the date at least 3 times already. And she'll obviously take this as neediness.

    My advice is to back off a bit, Fluff talk, get her engaged in conversation without the threat of you asking her out. So she can feel comfortable chatting with you. Then push for the date again.
    Great reply Wolf, thanks!

    On the boldened part, could you give some more info on how you would?

    And on the "asking" part, you would have told her a date and a place?

  5. #5
    Wolf24's Avatar
    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Give me feed: is my diagnosis correct?

    Okay about the 2 questions part here:

    "Enjoying the hot days in good ol' ***** T? On that wine we were supposed to take, how does your schedule look?"

    Suppose you didn't ask the date question. Then, she would have to invest in the conversation by telling about her day and probably give you a hook.

    What I'd do is, simply put, I wouldn't ask two questions back to back. Because I know, with 2 questions, she gets to pick which one she's gonna answer, thus lead the conversation. You should let her talk, yes, but you should lead the conversation. In this case, you gave her the lead.

    About asking for a date twice:

    I assumed you didn't talk between August 8 and August 18. She said she'll write back, 10 days past, you felt like you should engage her again. I'd do that too, 10 days is enough waiting.

    However, you said you've only talked couple minutes in person and couple messages chatting. So I think it's safe to say that she doesn't know you enough to go out on a date with you.

    To continue, you neglected this missing "we don't know each other" ingredient (comfort) and asked out for a date 10 days after, without even chatting couple sentences. Basically, you just opened with a date. And the funny part is, you did the 2 questions thing again.

    I think you can guess what I'd do now. If I were to re-engage her after 10 days, I wouldn't mention the date again, at all. At least for couple more days. I'd build up some comfort in the meantime.

    About using the same expression:

    Shortly bro, you have to be creative. Most of our messaging/texting guides suggest that you should ask her out on a date in a funny/silly mood.

    Like: "Hey Ms. Catwalk, I'm gonna try out some exotic wines today. If you think couple glasses won't hurt your model shape, come join me!"

    With this message, I gave her a nickname, which established that "special connection" between us. I said that I'm going to try out wines anyway, so she'll just be tagging along. She won't feel a serious mood, because it's a non-exclusive invitation. I also teased her about her body, which will show that I'm not intimidated by her or her awesome physique.

    And for the final part, yes. I would set a date and place at the end of my message above. If a woman is interested in meeting with you, she'll try her best to make the time, no matter how busy she is.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  6. #6
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Give me feed: is my diagnosis correct?

    It's good to come at her with the Mindset that she has to EARN your invite. If she isn't contributing much to the convo or showing interest then why does she deserve it? Don't make it easy for her. You won't appear challenging.

    Get in her head. If you were her then she is thinking "why is this guy trying to meet up with me?" If you come up with a good, unique reason as to why then you're golden. But from the convo it sounds all pretty surface. You haven't reach a deeper level with her yet. She needs to feel that there's something special between just you two. Almost like it was destiny. Once you get to that point you got yourself a date. Hope this helps and good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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