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Thread: is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

  1. #1
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

    Quick back story:

    Been dating this HB for almost 3 months now. we talk everyday by txt & on the phone & hang out most w/e's .
    we stay at each other's house but she wont have sex yet (she has to be in a relationship, major ASD & strong morals).
    Last week I got her down to her panties (never even let me close before so im thinking she's getting some pretty strong feelings etc)
    Then she freezes me out for a few days & drops the "nothing serious" line on me.

    I've been over that night & poss buyer's remorse in another thread (big ups to lancelot for his help there) but wanted to share the txt's since then & get ur thoughts & advice on my next move.

    so I went & talked to her & didn't get much of a result so I txt'd her hoping she might open up more through txt:
    Me: do you want anything to change with us or were you jus making sure we were on the same page?

    HB: I don't know hey. I know im super annoying im sorry...ATM im just over the whole lovey dovey thing.

    Me: Na all good your a female & prob doesn't help that ur no good at it either
    Its just a shame you place so much importance on labels...

    HB: yeah well, cant be good at everything right hahaha
    Na I dunno its just like if we hang out u'd rather make out n stuff where id rather just hang sh1t on each other n mess about doin stupid fun sh1t....

    thanks to Lancelot I've realised I've been too available (which im going to fix) but not sure if a Freeze Out would work best here or still hang out but only day dates, friend zone her & make her miss that bf side of me

    would really appreciate your thoughts & even a reply to her last txt

    She's the 1st girl I've met with LTR potential & this is what's messing my game up lol

    P.S sorry for the length just want to make sure it has all the information!
    Last edited by KristiBell; 08-24-2013 at 07:37 AM. Reason: explicit

  2. #2
    Nikee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

    What is Long Term Relationship potential?? Please give me some of the criteria, because obviously I'm confused... Y'all killing me with that shit guys.
    Play your game and play it harder each time, don't let this ideology of LTR Blur your judgment and your game, because "the freaky stuff a women don't say or do to you, I promise you there is someone who gets them. The naked pics she don't send you, she send them to this one guy", so become that guy and 'unlock' her.

    I don't know the play by play that would work with this HB, but I know that by first changing your LTR mindset to "it's game on" mindset, you'll make a lot better judgments. I would say freeze her out, while you practice on other HB, make yourself less available, but do NOT get off her radar. Stay on her radar, by maybe sending fun text about your day maybe every 3days, week, or 2wks, with a variable ratio, when she start investing more, set something up and flake on her at least once.

    Might sound crazy but flaking on HB has don't wonders for me.

    Good luck.
    Nikee --Just did it--

  3. #3
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikee View Post
    but do NOT get off her radar. Stay on her radar, by maybe sending fun text about your day maybe every 3days, week, or 2wks, with a variable ratio, when she start investing more, set something up and flake on her at least once.

    Might sound crazy but flaking on HB has don't wonders for me.
    this is what I was looking for!! a bit of a game plan to play to, I love the idea of flaking on her too. thanks heaps!!

    This girl is awesome man. She's hot, smart, athletic, we get along like crazy & she is genuine quality!!

    when im with her I worry about screwing up & its messing up my game . she ends up in control & I lose my frame.
    got any tips & ideas to get rid of this Mindset?

  4. #4
    PUAKevin is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

    Definitely freeze her out. Don't become just a friend, because it's very hard to come back from there.

    You're still putting her on a pedestal! Loose that Mindset. You're the king, she's lucky you are even willing to invest time in her.

  5. #5
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

    thanks man yeah I definitely have her on a pedestal!!
    I spent the w/e convincing myself that I blew it & she's gone. so Im over that sh1tty love sick feeling now & its time to learn from my mistakes.
    she sent me a random txt today out of the blue so im gonna stick with Nikee's game plan & thanks to the w/e it kind of feels like a fresh number that I can start gaming again, only with hindsight advantage

    Quote Originally Posted by PUAKevin View Post
    You're the king, she's lucky you are even willing to invest time in her.
    Any tips to really instil this Mindset. I think about it from time to time but I don't quite believe it like I should.

  6. #6
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

    Sorry to bump this but I had a quick question:

    She texted me last night out of the blue with some random dribble then asked how I have been. we texted back n forth for a little while & I feel like I had a bit more control back
    I ended the convo fairly early, n then 'apparently' she got a msg at 2:45am that I had sent last week n now has been texting me 2day too.

    So anyway Saturday night I'm babysitting my 7month old nephew for a few hours, who she has met & thinks is the cutest thing out, and I was thinking of inviting her over to visit & chill.

    In the middle of a conversation drop something along the lines of:

    "well if you have my banana bread ready, you could bring it by on Saturday & come see Harry "

    I'm pretty sure he will come up in conversation again & she promised she would make me some bread last time I saw her (her banana bread is amazing btw!!)

    Should I freeze her out a bit longer? is it a bit AFC to remember something she promised me 2weeks ago? general thoughts?

    I can post the text convo (11 texts) from last night if it helps or someone is happy to critique.

    Thanks again

  7. #7
    TheGeneral's Avatar
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    Default Re: is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

    Make plans for her to come visit you babysitting and then cancel on her!

    I think you might have missed a golden opportunity when you got her into her panties and then let her freeze you out. She was the one that blew it, not you. You should have made her feel like she was the one that blew it (by Freezing Her Out) and that she needed to work to get your attention back. Instead you are working for her attention again, and then when she tells you this:

    "Na I dunno its just like if we hang out u'd rather make out n stuff where id rather just hang sh1t on each other n mess about doin stupid fun sh1t."

    She blew it again. If I had a girl tell me that I would just delete the whole conversation out of my phone right there. Think about how stupid you feel when you say something really dumb to a girl and she ignores you because of it. You need to leave her with that feeling, like what she said was completely inappropriate. She will try to fix it.

    One more thing. Think about how much you are investing in this girl, time, money, thoughts, everything. Be honest with yourself... Now ask yourself what additional things are you going to invest in this girl if she does decide to go official? You should be able to list a dozen things. If you can't then you need to start adding to the list.

  8. #8
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGeneral View Post
    Make plans for her to come visit you babysitting and then cancel on her!
    I like this idea going to be hard to cancel seeing as though I will be at home & unable to leave. Plus her banana bread is amazing & she wont be allowed to visit w/o it!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGeneral View Post
    I think you might have missed a golden opportunity when you got her into her panties and then let her freeze you out. She was the one that blew it, not you. You should have made her feel like she was the one that blew it (by Freezing Her Out) and that she needed to work to get your attention back. Instead you are working for her attention again, and then when she tells you this:

    "Na I dunno its just like if we hang out u'd rather make out n stuff where id rather just hang sh1t on each other n mess about doin stupid fun sh1t."

    She blew it again. If I had a girl tell me that I would just delete the whole conversation out of my phone right there. Think about how stupid you feel when you say something really dumb to a girl and she ignores you because of it. You need to leave her with that feeling, like what she said was completely inappropriate. She will try to fix it.
    Have to disagree with this. Only b/c there's a whole other story to it than a hook up. plus we didn't talk for like 4 days afterwards so kinda both froze each other out.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGeneral View Post
    One more thing. Think about how much you are investing in this girl, time, money, thoughts, everything. Be honest with yourself... Now ask yourself what additional things are you going to invest in this girl if she does decide to go official? You should be able to list a dozen things. If you can't then you need to start adding to the list.
    Im not sure what you mean here? this sounds like a completely different theory to the usual 'have her invest more in you'??

  9. #9
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    Default Re: is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kvn07 View Post
    I like this idea going to be hard to cancel seeing as though I will be at home & unable to leave. Plus her banana bread is amazing & she wont be allowed to visit w/o it!
    Well what you would do is tell her a few days ahead of time that you are babysitting Saturday night and that she should come over, and Friday night or Saturday morning just text her with an excuse to flake.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kvn07 View Post
    Im not sure what you mean here? this sounds like a completely different theory to the usual 'have her invest more in you'??
    It's not a different theory necessarily. You always want to have the woman deeply invested in you. However, the reality is that you are making investments in her at the same time whether you like it or not, and you have to manage how much you are investing in her. I consider my time and my thoughts to be the most valuable things I have to invest.

    My theory on investment and LTR's is that you NEED to have a stable of things you hold exclusive until a woman commits to you officially if an LTR is what you want, and you need to be unwilling to compromise these things.

    Think of yourself as an Iphone app. There is a free version and a paid version. You need to make sure the paid version has some significant features that the free version doesn't. Otherwise nobody will buy it. Another important thing is to make sure to advertise the paid version. Make sure she knows that she is missing out.

    My Mindset: I hold back my world from a girl. All my deepest thoughts, places I go, crazy things I do, all get held back. What I do though, is I let her in on little secrets every once in a while, stuff that will blow her mind. I show her that it is there, and then I snap out of it, like what I was talking about was a daydream and now I'm back in reality.

    See if that makes sense.

  10. #10
    Lancelot's Avatar
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    Default Re: is it time to let it go or something worth chasing still?

    Women choose Long Term Relationships. And it's when a guy has game and plays it. Having less game in order to somehow make it into a LTR is unfortunately an oxymoron. The longer I've pushed and pulled with a girl and prevented her from calling it a relationship, the longer the relationship lasted when she finally insisted and I consented.
    I don't think I'm reading the messages like you are: she's telling you she wants to do fun stupid shit more than making out all the time. That doesn't mean necessarily that she never wants to make out. She is on the fence now, and you are in the danger zone. So I would use friend zone destroyer techniques- I think I mentioned a few of these in a previous post, if not I'll write you a scenario- in conjunction with freezing and amping up your attraction/seductor game.


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