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  1. #1
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default How to reinitiate an old flame?

    Met this girl last semester, gamed her and started hooking up with her, out of all the girls I was talking to she kinda "rose to the top" and by the end of the semester she was pretty much the only girl I was talking to, and I know she wasnt talking to ther guys, we actually wound up getting really close and talked about how it sucked that we had to leave for the summer now that we were close. She left but still continued to text me or facetime me everyday. Surely enough over time with the distance, the sparks faded, that slowed down and we stopped talking. Semester starts this week, well both be back but I haven't talked to her in about a month and a half- two months. Any advice on reinitianing with an old fling? I'm thinking of going with an, "I just saw your twin" text.

  2. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to reinitiate an old flame?

    Were you in a relationship with her? I ask because if not, then it sounds like you were just her bff. In this case, the only spark that went away was the spark of friendship. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing, because it already means she is comfortable with you and she has built up a ton of rapport with you. Because she is comfortable with you, and you two did get so close as friends, then it shouldn't be difficult at all to role-play and start to build up the attraction.

    If you were in a relationship, it won't affect how you should approach this. Because you two haven't talked for so long, the reaction between you two in that first interaction will be energetic. You haven't seen or talked to each other in months, and you are like old friends meeting up again for the first time in too long. This will instantly put the conversation on a high, and it will allow you to control the conversation from a positive position.

    Your overall goal should be to build up attraction and push for separate date or interaction as soon as you appropriately can. I say appropriately because although it will be easy to get a meetup, you can't rush things too quick in the interaction. Take your time, and just really enjoy it.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to reinitiate an old flame?

    Swagman, we never officially were "in a relationship", I really don't do relationships persay. We were sleeping together and she'd stay over 3-5 times a week. We'd go out on dates occasionally, all her friends and roomates met me blah blah, I just never made her an "official" girlfriend, even though I probably could have, just not interested at my age. Shes younger and I always remained alpha. Over time she expressed developing feelings for me. She's a very realistic and pretty down to earth girl. Like I stated, as feelings started to peak we had to leave each other for the summer, before she left we were hanging out almost every day. I gave her a little piece of memorabilia to keep with her and she would talk about it all the time. We talked for the beginning of the summer but it just faded as we started doing other things. (As a side not we did get into a pretty big and our first and only argument about 3 weeks before we stopped talking). The closeness just dipped off and I'm simply just trying to reinitiate an old potential serious girlfriend.

  4. #4
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to reinitiate an old flame?

    Alright man, just wondering about some details so the advice is better and can give you a better outcome. That argument bit may mess things up for you, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. Like I said, it's a new semester, and a new start. People forget and people change over the summer. If the argument comes up as a problem, just bring up what I said about it being a new semester.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  5. #5
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to reinitiate an old flame?

    Yea yea the argument was a little set back and definitely didnt help but I stood my ground and didnt act like a wuss or upset after, which in my mind is most important. And as I said we continued to talk for another 3 weeks. She called me a few times and still showed interest. I called her one morning, like we had been doing and idk it just seemed different and we haven't spoken since than except for once, but like I said we continued to talk regularly after the argument. Who knows what happened maybe she started hooking up with someone home, I wasnt too concerned because I was talking to other girls over the summer. So I guess my question though is how would you go about reinitianing, now that she's back. We just haven't spoke in so long and that spark kind of faded. I'm just trying to find the best way to respark it casually. I don't know if he still has interest or even thinks about me because as I said we haven't spoken. I'm still thinking a "I just saw your twin text" is still a good way to open.

  6. #6
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to reinitiate an old flame?

    Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow chicken liver

  7. #7
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to reinitiate an old flame?

    Just wait man, hold your horses. I'm not on here 24/7, I do go out and run some game (as I was just successfully doing on some college freshies )

    Your best bet is when you see her in public to just fire things off on a positive note. Approach her with some excitement, you haven't seen each other in forever, it's the first time this semester, take advantage of the moment. Just be natural, and push for an interaction when appropriate.

    You got this dude. If you held your ground in the argument like you said you did, you should have no problem whatsoever with approaching her and interacting with her.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  8. #8
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to reinitiate an old flame?

    I was holding my horses, just wanted to meow a little, but I'm not going to see her in public, that's my whole point. I go to a huge university and I definitely don't have any classes with her and odds of seeing her in randomly in public are slim. I'm really just trying to find the best way to reignite talking to her on the phone so I can meet her in person. The issue isn't gaming her in person, all I have is her number so I just need to figure how to re open through text

  9. #9
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to reinitiate an old flame?

    Well then, that is a problem then. Oh well, then you will have to open her on phone. Just send her something like "Guess who's about to head down to [food place]?! Come on down if ya miss me "
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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