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  • 1 Post By Essential17

Thread: Best followup text, or is this a lost cause?

  1. #1
    Virum's Avatar
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    Default Best followup text, or is this a lost cause?

    I was hanging out with a bunch of friends the other night, and some girls + one guy joined the group. I liked one girl in particular and did my thing on her. I think it went pretty well, she obviously showed interest and played the game along (there was some teasing and bantering back and forward etc).

    Thing is, she kinda was with that guy. I think it was some sort of first date or something (but it could have been 'just friends' as well). I actually felt kinda awkard for the guy cause while I was talking to her (and getting good responses), he was just sitting there passively and not really interacting.

    Anyway, by the end of the night I told her we should meet again and exchange numbers. She agreed immediately (thinking back about it, I probably could and should have kissed her right then and there). We actually exchanged numbers right in front of that other guy, and then the two of them left.

    Next day I texted her, told I enjoyed the evening in general and busting her balls in particular. And suggested to meet up and go for a drink some day. Her response: "Hi, thanks, I also enjoyed the evening a lot, and really appreciate your straightforwardness ;) But the other guy I was with, well, there was a big spark between us later on.."

    Obviously I'm not gonna keep chasing her like a desperate puppy, but I think one more reply wouldn't hurt (and besides, no reply = no followup whatsoever anyway). I was thinking of something along the lines of: "Sure, no problem. Lucky for him, too bad for you, but hey, it's a free world. When he messes up, you know how to get in touch :)"

    What would you gentlemen recommend in this case, to maximize the probability of still hooking up with her? (even considering the whole thing with that other guy may even be just a Sh1t Test, although I don't think it is)

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Best followup text, or is this a lost cause?

    You generally shouldn't push for another meetup right away after an interaction. Give it a few days of interaction, and then you can go for it. With that said, the message you are thinking about sending is an absolute no. You don't want to imply that you will wait around for her. In addition, I am sensing a tinge of jealousy in that message. Jealousy is a very AFC thing.

    Now that the negative is out of the way, I can give you some of the positives.

    Your chances are good. You spat some pretty good alpha game around her, and the man just sat there like a rock. Not a good move on his part. The fact she gave you her number right away is also another good sign. I would say to play off her message as if it was nothing and then continue to flirt and spit some game with her. You can maybe even run a little bf destroyer on her to take down the other guy. Do all of that, and you should be on the right track to getting her.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    Virum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best followup text, or is this a lost cause?

    Quote Originally Posted by Swagman
    You generally shouldn't push for another meetup right away after an interaction. Give it a few days of interaction, and then you can go for it.
    Right, OK. Well I normally wouldn't do this (I mean going straight for 2nd meetup in first text), but in this case the "let's meet again soon" was almost a done deal already, and we just agreed on doing the text thing to settle a date.

    With that said, the message you are thinking about sending is an absolute no. You don't want to imply that you will wait around for her. In addition, I am sensing a tinge of jealousy in that message. Jealousy is a very AFC thing.
    Thanks for the feedback, much appreciated. I was doubting to insert "if I'm still available" or something at the end. But then still, I see what you mean.

    I would say to play off her message as if it was nothing and then continue to flirt and spit some game with her. You can maybe even run a little BF Destroyer on her to take down the other guy. Do all of that, and you should be on the right track to getting her.
    Do you mean completely ignoring her statement about the other guy whatsoever? I understand it's good to be unfazed, but won't that come accross as, well, plain stupid or ignorant?

    Would it be OK to shortly discard her objection like "Well that's nice but I'm not interesting in the guy, I'm interested in you." or "Hey no problem, I'm seeing other girls as well. So..." or something? Or really better not address that sentence at all?

    As for continuing to spit game with her, what would you suggest in this situation? Can I continue with stating I'm still curious to find out more about her and if she got what it takes, or if her she can actually back up her bantering from the other night or if that was just an act, etc? Or do you have an explicit example that would be suitable? (just to get an impression)

    I'm not really familiar with BF Destroyer routines (yet )) so I'll look into that.

    Thanks again!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Best followup text, or is this a lost cause?

    Small addition - Swagman (or others), do you think an alternative like this would be OK?

    "OK, sure. I actually took you for an open minded type of girl, you know, adventurous etc :) Anyway, I guess at 34 perhaps you rather settle for stability, so good luck!"

    Or would that also have a touch of neediness / try-hard in it?

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Best followup text, or is this a lost cause?

    The other alternative was better in my opinion. Just take the "I'm seeing other girls as well... So" out. That makes you look like a jealous guy whose trying to get back at her to make her jealous. Trust me that's the type of position I like to be in because I love using bf destroyers to eliminate my competition. Play it cool and don't be threatened by him one bit. Built rapport and comfort for now
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Best followup text, or is this a lost cause?

    To that I would respond with…

    "Fine by me, bring him along "

    Whenever a girl mentions another guy, my response is that it's no problem and he's always welcome. Especially in your case, as you already demonstrated that you can be alpha even with him sitting right there.

    She might say no, but a lot of girls will be turned on by the 'bring it on' confidence, and will often not actually bring him along.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Best followup text, or is this a lost cause?

    I went for "Hey, no problem, just bring him along as well. That also worked fine the other night :) Anyway, I'm still curious to find out if there's more to you. Impression I got last friday made it seem so. Unless you guys are already planning the wedding, I wouldn't want to ruin anything :)"

    Last attempt though, if I don't hear anything back I'll leave it at that.


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