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  • 1 Post By Swagman
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Thread: Might have waited too long - need advice

  1. #1
    fallenempire91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Might have waited too long - need advice

    Hey forums, LONG time reader first time poster,

    I met a girl about a month ago outside a coffee shop, talked and flirted for a good 15 minutes then invited her to hangout with me that night. Other plans came up on my end and that didn't happen, but I texted her a few days later and she responded with something like "why didn't we hangout the other night?" so she was definitely into me. I was honest about it and let it cool down for a week, then we started texting again 2 weeks ago. Our chats are going decently, but I almost always initiate the conversation. I invited her out a couple nights but she's been busy but let me know her schedule (she seemed interested, just genuinely busy). I then invited her out on a night she said she was free, and she said she would let me know and never texted me back.

    I like her and want to take her out on a date but I'm afraid I might have let this drag on too long and she's lost attraction (and my weak text game isn't helping haha). Any suggestions, fellow PUAs?

  2. #2
    PUAKevin is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Might have waited too long - need advice

    Yeah you waited to long. The girl even asked you why you didn't meet up with her. After this text you let it cool down for a week. In her mind this means you're not interested, so her focus on you disappeared.

    Don't beat yourself up for this little mistake, but learn from this experience.
    Right now you have to create some attraction again. Text her more and go for the meet up as soon as possible.

    Good luck!

  3. #3
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Might have waited too long - need advice

    If you have other things that come up, then you need to call her and tell her that you are sorry, but you cannot come. Then, you make plans for an alternate meetup instead of blowing her off like you did. That's how you usually cancel plans with a girl that you are interested in.

    You also can't let the spark burn out on a target like that. If you are interested in the target, then you have to maintain the PUA essentials: flirting, messaging, meet-ups, everything. I would go on further, but I would then be reiterating everything that Kevin said.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Might have waited too long - need advice

    Here's a few tips that help me quite a bit:

    1: Flake on her first. Get her to agree to plans then cancel the day of. This helps to look non-needy and she'll be more likely to meet up the following plans you make with her. You may not need this so use your best judgment.

    2. Just as friends. Tell her that you just want to hang out as friends. It'll help Disarm her and she won't have to initially worry about any awkwardness that may occur if it were on a "date" with you. If you have done something physical then this may be odd to use. Again, use your best judgment.

    3. Time Constraint. I learned this from a buddy of mine. He told me to start using time constraints to set up dates. Meaning that you tell her that you have to be somewhere in an hour and if she would like to meet up for coffee or ice cream. This makes her comfortable because she doesn't have to worry about staying with you the whole night in case she doesn't like you. Of course once she meets you she will. And then your initial "plans" would have fallen through and you can spend more time with her

    Hope this helps and good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    Gabriel Angelo's Avatar
    Gabriel Angelo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Might have waited too long - need advice

    For all those numbers you let to dust...do a mass-text "hi" or "yo."

    Think of yourself like a promoter what they would do to get people to come out.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Might have waited too long - need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by fallenempire91 View Post
    Hey forums, LONG time reader first time poster,

    I met a girl about a month ago outside a coffee shop, talked and flirted for a good 15 minutes then invited her to hangout with me that night. Other plans came up on my end and that didn't happen, but I texted her a few days later and she responded with something like "why didn't we hangout the other night?" so she was definitely into me. I was honest about it and let it cool down for a week, then we started texting again 2 weeks ago. Our chats are going decently, but I almost always initiate the conversation. I invited her out a couple nights but she's been busy but let me know her schedule (she seemed interested, just genuinely busy). I then invited her out on a night she said she was free, and she said she would let me know and never texted me back.

    I like her and want to take her out on a date but I'm afraid I might have let this drag on too long and she's lost attraction (and my weak text game isn't helping haha). Any suggestions, fellow PUAs?

    Oh man beyond words. You are taking a shot in the dark here. Love Batman and Swagman of course those guys are rock solid but my method is a little more unconventional and that's what works for me. NO you can never wait too long. I waited 7 months, 7 months! And hit her up BAM instant texting flurry. Just lost it in the afterglow. You know too much validation too quick then I get an ego trip then it goes to my head then she is turned off by it type of deal.

    You aren't taking it to slow you are taking it too seriously though. Like most guys we do try to cross all our T's and dot all our I's when it comes to talking to women. You can't do this sucks the thrill of the ride right out of it. You are fitting yourself into her schedule. Screw that fit her into yours. If she's too busy tell her she is getting a Freeze Out "not in those words." ping test her and see where it goes. For more info read up on Project Iceshield I am releasing soon. Check back soon for more info.


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