What's up players, got a question for you guys ill try and keep this as informative but as short as possible.
I've been seeing this girl Jill for about 3-4 months now. Little back story, we met through my friend about 3 years ago. Talked for a bit but nothing serious and kind of fell apart as she was going away for 2 or 3 months that summer couple days after we met(to be honest I donít remember it that well). Also, I had just got out of another relationship and wasnít looking for anything at the time. Fast forward 3 years to June 2013 first time I had seen her in a while. I played it cool, would walk by have small conversations negging her and teasing her till eventually we were alone and got more intimate.
Fast forward again to today's date. We`ve been talking ever since and everything's been going well until the other day. She had went away with her family for 2 weeks. During the time she was there she skyped me and messaged me through Wi-Fi quite often telling me about her day. Personally I didnít expect to hear from her because if it were me I would be enjoying myself. I started to text her first towards the end of her trip and asked if we could hang out when she was back. She`s never been one to go out of her way to make plans with me and has usually been me for the most part (as this is still quite fresh). We decided on the day she was back but I ended up telling her that I was away from town and would see her the next day to which she said she was busy. Couple days later I told her I was in the area and would come by. Things went well we relaxed and did the usual .
On that same day as above, she left the room and I checked her phone. I saw texts between her and this guy she used to talk to saying ``I'm dating someone, but it's just casual, I'm staying away from anything serious`` and also said to him ``I missed talking to you``. Obviously this can be taken out of context because I didnít have time to read the full conversation however, it still irked me and it was obvious it did when she came back to the room because she asked a couple times ``what's wrong`` to which I said ``nothing I'm a bit tired``. The night was quite awkward as we didn't snuggle and I left quite quickly in morning. This happened about a week ago and everything's been totally different. After that night, I never told her what i saw or expressed any emotion involving that situation to make her think i was actually tired which she bought the next day when asked "you seemed grumpy"... Currently, I'm texting and calling her first and a couple days ago I initiated coming to see her (everything was surprisingly normal when we hung out). The issue is I'm getting a lot of red flags as even her texts are quite short from what she used to write to me. Going back to what I read on her phone, I really had no reason to be upset as we never agreed on being exclusive. I was just shocked to see that she wasn't on the same page as I am because I do like her. We have had one conversation about becoming gf and bf in the past, again was brought up by me, after she took me to a wedding. She said she liked the way things were and wanted to take it slow which i said i agreed afterwards.
What are my next steps here? I dont think this is totally lost as i havent questioned why shes been a bit distant or expressed any emotion to her that this is bothering me. However, I do look at her and us in a different light and i am now starting to viewing us as casually dating as well. Would it be a good idea to not text her and call her until she reaches out to me? that's what i would like to do but what angle do i play when she does message me ? "sorry ive been busy" ? shell never buy that.