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  1. #1
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Texting vs. Phoning - Looking for insight

    As the title says, I want to know what everyone's opinions are on texting vs. phoning.

    I used to be in the camp that phoning took more balls and was therefore superior, but I've changed my mind over time. The biggest reason being that I don't think the risk associated with phoning is commensurate with the award. I've had several girls comment that phoning creeps them out and a lot of girls wonder why you don't just text.

    So what do you guys think?
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Texting vs. Phoning - Looking for insight

    It depends on your strengths. Girls tell me that they feel SO comfortable talking to me.

    Having said that I think that the landscape is starting to change. The girls tell me that I am really unique in that I can hold a good phone conversation because NO others guys can. I can already see the direction it's going in. So you aren't wrong. I just have to keep improving my text game or to better word is to say that I am being forced to improve my text game.

  3. #3
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Texting vs. Phoning - Looking for insight

    My problem isn't so much the conversation part, it's before that. Lots of girls don't even want a phone conversation to get past the initial pleasantries.

    Obviously phone calls are fine when you know someone and there is sufficient comfort, but a lot of "experts" still suggest phoning to set up a first date. I guess I should have been more clear with my question, what are your feelings about calling for a first date?
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  4. #4
    dave_xxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Texting vs. Phoning - Looking for insight

    For me:

    Find
    attract
    exchange #'s
    chat on the phone
    text
    date

    I would say with some girls I call for a date and with others i just tell them where I want to meet them for a drink. It is going more towards the texts to schedule the date.

  5. #5
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Texting vs. Phoning - Looking for insight

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDuke View Post
    As the title says, I want to know what everyone's opinions are on texting vs. phoning.

    I used to be in the camp that phoning took more balls and was therefore superior, but I've changed my mind over time. The biggest reason being that I don't think the risk associated with phoning is commensurate with the award. I've had several girls comment that phoning creeps them out and a lot of girls wonder why you don't just text.

    So what do you guys think?
    Hey there TheDuke, like you I used to be in the the "Don't text, phone her" camp in that you could never build attraction without phoning her. However my recent GF who I dumped I got her from meeting her in a Club to on a date without a single phone call and texting only however she called me to confirm the date 10 minutes beforehand and it was on after that.

    But then after all that success of texting only I started to get stuck in a rut as well. My texts started falling flat and not getting any responses. However I had a hot streak of always getting responses for about 3 months of meeting girls and just doing the texting.
    My new take on it will be described in detail in my essay I am writing up called "Project Iceshield" which will be in part 2 but part 1 is coming out in about a month in one of these sections. But to give you the gist of it here is my new improved method.

    Don't just text and don't just call. Do both. I know amazing revelation but we get stuck in patterns and when texting too much calling gets scary, when calling too much texting gets bothersome. So you mix them up equally and mutually.

    My new method will be to call the following day and plan on leaving a vm or talking if they answer. Why I think this is better is because pretty much guaranteed she won't respond to your first text. I would rather get off to a good start by introducing myself in a vm which usually results in a callback. But even if not then to the texting. The first barrier to break is to get responses via text but to simply make the call the first priority. Then try to go for the response via text and not expect a response from the vm. After we get talking through text then call her to setup the date and ask her out. This way texting won't become too routine as we can get "caught up" and they go through all those sh!t testing cycles through text. Though it depends on you mood you can ask her out either way but calling her must remain in your sights as the very last girl I talked to only through text de-humanized me "Who the hell is this?" when I wouldn't have gotten that by building more rapport over the phone. I chickened out on calling her getting so much success over text then it backfired.

    So essentially I had to bite the bullet on that one and realized the hard way you must call the girl to build report but also must text to keep her interested. So you have to do both and shouldn't ignore one or the other which I have made the mistake of doing. More to come in the essay. Here's let's look at it like this. You coudl text or call first doesn't matter. But don't half-arse it to the point you are getting scared of calling her, if you get that far you have reached the point of no return and have gone too far. You are so good with her on text you are afraid of spoiling the fun with a phone call. But you must not get to this point. Keep it fun but don't lose it like I did for not being man enough to call a girl.

  6. #6
    ED11356's Avatar
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    Default Re: Texting vs. Phoning - Looking for insight

    Pretty funny how having a phone conversation has become a lost art, lol.

    Anyway, I think with almost anything, it depends on the woman. Some actually appreciate a phone call and are shocked when a guy actually decided to call instead of text. Others simply prefer the text route, and don't bother with actually trying to talk on the phone.
    Always be honest with women. That's the true meaning of a PUA.


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