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  1. #1
    Arck is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She's been talking to her ex, text sounds like they're meeting...

    I've noticed recently when my gf has pulled up her facebook messages and texts that her ex is the second or third most recent conversation. This has happened when she's gone to show me something on her phone, so she must know I've seen it.

    She somewhat hesitantly broke it off with him around five months ago after cheating on him with me. Since then we've been dating pretty seriously - she's told me she loves me and all that. But today while she was pulling up her texts I saw a message with him that said "sounds good."

    What should I do? I'm torn because if I say anything I look jealous and insecure, but if I don't say anything I risk looking weak. Any advice would be really appreciated.
    "Dating is a lot like fishing. It's about patience and self control, while never over thinking anything...take your time bringing it in; if you reel too hard you can rip the hook out... But reel in too soft and you can lose the fish. You have to feel when to give and when to take." - Icarus

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: She's been talking to her ex, text sounds like they're meeting...

    I read over this, and I have to admit - I don't know...

    I've been there in weaker moments and I've called a girl out, sometimes it works out, sometimes I've totally lost the frame and ended up losing a lot of value

    In reality i know I would say something- main thing is, dont be whiney, don't be defensive. The problem is the question arises from jealousy, which is normal but is by nature low value, jealousy shows we are insecure, so you wanna be as calm and confident about it as you can

    Next time it came up I'd ask, like what are you talking to "Jake" about?

    Ideally a Pua wouldn't do it, you're supposed to stay unaffected and not worried about things

    But relationships don't quite work that way, so, Id ask for clarification if it were me, just don't be a bitch about it
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    Arck is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She's been talking to her ex, text sounds like they're meeting...

    The Red Barron, many thanks for such honest insight on this. I've been asking myself what's more likely if I call her out: making the situation better or making it worse, and I think the latter is more likely to happen.

    She hasn't been acting suspicious and we've been doing really well, so I don't really suspect cheating. I'm not going to make an issue out of it yet, but if I notice it's happening again I'm going to bring it up the calmest most confident way possible - basically ask her what's up more out of curiosity than jealous insecurity.

    I think you're spot on - this is one of those situations where I just really don't know what to do. Do I risk looking beta by not asking her about it now? My problem is I'm not sure I'm going to be able to just ignore this - it's going to continue bothering me in a way that will interfere in our relationship. Is it maybe time to start thinking about BF Destroyer to handle any conversation that comes up about her ex and how she's talking to him? Any other insights majorly appreciated.
    "Dating is a lot like fishing. It's about patience and self control, while never over thinking anything...take your time bringing it in; if you reel too hard you can rip the hook out... But reel in too soft and you can lose the fish. You have to feel when to give and when to take." - Icarus


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