I know all of you are really tired of oneitis questions. Well, even if I try to think about my situation from your perspective, my situation is .. unusual.
Here it goes.
I think Im in the middle of a oneitis situation where the HB9 also have oneitis for me. Is that even possible? But we have never k-closed.
Im 35 and have been lurking here for a long, long time. Let me start the story 7 years ago. I was happily out picking up women and enjoying life.
One evening I picked up a girl, not the HB9, she was a 6 or a 7. We connected and had a lot of fun for two months. We became a couple. Just a couple of weeks later I met this HB9. She was doing all the work trying to attract me. But I was happy with my GF and just talked to her. Whenever the HB9 managed to Isolate me, I simly turned and walked away from her without saying goodbye. Well, turns out we had a lot of common friends so I met the HB9 every other weekend at parties. She just got bolder and bolder. I should have stopped her, but liked the attention she gave me. She tried every trick she knew. She even called me at work a few times. Never like a stalker, just enough so that I never ever needed to question her intentions.
I remember spending many hours thinking about her, but I had the most amazing GF sleeping curled up against me, and I was familiar with the concept of oneitis. I knew she had it, and it was affecting me. So I decided to just carry on with my life and not do anything about it.
Well, after a couple of months she brought a BF to a party and she immediately isolated me, dead sober and told me that this is it, either I get my sh1t together or she will keep the BF. I told her to do whatever felt right for her. She kept the BF. For the next 5 years, whenever we met occasionally, we had this magnetic influence on eachother. To the point where the BF noticed and made sure we never hang out at the same place the same time. So for the last 3-4 years we met once or twice a year.
I know my sh1t and autopilot works, so I can tell it is still very much on, but we both behave when we meet.
Well, after 6 years my amazing connection with the GF vanished. That was 6 months ago. So now I try be happy, f-closing occasionally but its not really working. There is nothing wrong with my skills, I just donīt enjoy it as much.
I have stayed away from the HB9 because it would not be very nice to first say no, then meet her, and destroy her relationship just because my relationship ended. Yeah I know she can keep a secret, but the feelings would be strong and it would mentally destroy things for them.
Well, last month my ex GF and the HB9 met eachother by pure chance at a bar. They talked politely and the HB9 found out Im single. So, a couple weeks later I received the surprise of my life. She had somehow managed to get herself invited to a dinner with me and a few friends, leaving her BF at home, without me finding out about her plans in advance. So for the first time in like 4 years we are sitting down having dinner together. Mini-isolation among friends have never worked as good as it did that evening. We talked about anything and everything, her feet never left my legs for a second. A couple hours later I did as I usually do, walked away from her without saying goodbye.
Well, she had prepared for that. She had my phone nr on speed-dial. So when I was outside my phone rang and she just said "please dont".
Okey I said, she left her friends and came running from the dinner and I put her in a taxi with me. It felt a bit strange sitting there, both of us in the same taxi after all these years.. oneitis pumping all around inside me, so I stopped the taxi at a bowling club. We had a sh1tload of fun and I told her I felt sorry for her with the BF. She said "What!, nobody knows that. I have not told a single person". My instincs never fail, she had dumped him. They still live together until she finds herself another apartment.
So I thought about it and figured that if we have waited for all these years, I can wait one month for her to tie up the loose ends before I do anything. It just felt right, felt good to give myself a way out because I was too nervous. I am never nervous. She is the only female person on earth that make me nervous. farking oneitis. So I just told her that she will never feel alone again and Im guessing she understood. Then we just played bowling and left the place in two taxis.
We have not even K-closed. Lots of hugs, lots of Kino, but never escalated further. I heard from her friends that she signed a contract for an apartment and that living with the former BF stinks, so she have been abroad on vacation for the last few weeks.
Here I am, scared that I blew it. I called her and asked her to my place for dinner and a movie, she said that she would love to but she was on her way to the airport. I forgot to ask when she will be back.
Then, a week later I texted her, no reply.
A week after that, no reply.
oneitis is a bitch.
She definately got her revenge.
Only question is if she did it on purpose.
So this is my contribution to the community. My lessen for all of you.
Always F-close them. That is what they desire, what they need. What everyone wants, always.
You should never fight your instincts and behave honorable, it will just make you crazy sooner or later.
I know I feel like I have been hit by a train as I write this.
oneitis is a bitch. The bitch does have a name and every word is true.
Only if I get the girl I will be back with an update. Thats a promise. If not, Im done picking up girls. I have had enough of them.