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  1. #1
    Mwood245 is offline Banned
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    Default Need a bit of help.

    Hey everyone,

    So i'm wondering if i could get some help or opinions on a certain stage i'm at with this girl. She was my friends ex, but he was ok with us dating. Her and i first met up over Facebook and then proceded from there. We've been txting and talking for about a month and a half. Due to distance in between us it was difficult to see each other.

    The first two times we met we were at a bar. On the second time we made out. Two days ago we met up and went on our first official date. We made out and did some other stuff, but mostly kept our clothes on (mostly ).

    My question comes like this. We used to talk constantly over txt and the phone, but now we don't talk as much over txt. I know that you should get the girl to call you. But she hasn't called a few times when i've said "call me".

    What can i do to get back more of the spark that we had before? Should i do more flirting or move things in a more senual phase? Or am i just worring about nothing. We've only txt a couple times and chatted over Facebook since i was at her house two days ago. In our Facebook convo she said she had fun when i was over and would like to see me again. But i feel as though i'm losing some of her interest. I want it back! Help me out.

  2. #2
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Need a bit of help.

    Hey Mike - welcome to the forums.

    First off congrats on the makeout. First time makeouts are always fun.

    I would not sweat it.. it almost feels like you are developing a bit of one-itis. That will make you seem and act needy and will be the sure fire way to kill attraction.

    Instead, go do some fun shit. Hang out with your boys, flirt with some girls, etc.

    Don't ask a girl to call you, that NEVER works unless done with a great amount of finesse. Instead, initiate the conversations. Make them fun and light and flirty.

    Bring value to her, by bringing her along on some cool adventure.

    Skip the dinner and what not - instead do something fun.

    Don't text her looking for a reaction or approval.

    I actually HIGHLY recommend you start to date or see at least 2-3 other girls.

    This will naturally create the right frame of mind for you as you won't have time to over-analyze the situation.

    One last thing - your last interaction seemed to go well - so don't seem to anxious to move things forward immediately. Being out of contact for a day or two will make her more attracted to you (case in point she is somewhat toning it down with you and you are going nuts).

    Have fun man. Date other women.

    And report back.

    BP

  3. #3
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Need a bit of help.

    Guys - let me know if you agree with my advice (gng, instinct, etc).

  4. #4
    Mwood245 is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Need a bit of help.

    Thanks Bill

    Yes, i agree. I could be developing some One-itis.

    I hate that i'm even thinking of acting NEEDY! It's such a slip back into my old self.

    I do have a couple other girls that i'm interested in seeing.

    But getting my mind off it and seeing some other girls will again put me in a good frame. It's time to step up my game in other areas.

    So i'm not gonna worry about this for a couple days and i'll report back on the situation soon.

    P.S. just txt another girl to come chill with me while i go Xmas shopping

  5. #5
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Need a bit of help.

    Nice. Admitting that you may have one-itis will now enable you to recognize the signs of it and actively work to NOT do things that display oneitis. Remember, the things that one-itis make you want to do are NOT going to work.

    All the things that have been pressed into your brain over the years about showering a girl with affection, or thinking of her all the time, or treating her as special will ALL only work to make her like you less.

    BP

  6. #6
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: Need a bit of help.

    I agree with Bill. Also, you need to understand something about attraction. Attraction is much like a volcano. It builds up pressure, then blows, and starts over. I bet there was a lot of sexual Tension and attraction that was built before you guys got into it. When you started messing around, you both blew off a lot of steam. A lot of times, guys make the mistake of thinking that the next time they see the women, things are going to pick right up at the peak of the interaction. That isn't the case. What I would recommend, is not to even go out of your way to contact this women during the next week. Be friendly a open if she contacts you. Then if you are bored, call her on the weekend, or next week. As long as she knows you aren't feeling awkward or needy, the time apart will only build more attraction, for the next meeting.

  7. #7
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Need a bit of help.

    Great post GnG - so many guys just do not get this simple yet amazingly effective tactic.

  8. #8
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: Need a bit of help.

    I don't even know what to add, Bill, GNG, you guys nailed it.

  9. #9
    slasherguy Guest

    Default Re: Need a bit of help.

    I definitely agree with Bill.. It's okay to go out with more than one girl in order for you to have a wide perspective on the girl's behavior. From what you were telling us, the girl is interested on you.That's no doubt. And you worry that she seemed not as interested you before? Mmm.. maybe she wants you to make more effort.. be creative.. and play the game right

  10. #10
    Mwood245 is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Need a bit of help.

    Thanks Everyone, great advice


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