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Thread: She had a FOURSOME while we are dating

  1. #11
    lilsting's Avatar
    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She had a FOURSOME while we are dating

    Am I lost? Do you really need to set boundaries with someone you're dating. Isn't it an unspoken rule of trust that you shouldn't have to say, oh and btw please don't cheat on me. She cheated on you and told you. Ballsy move on her part, and I'm glad you remained calm. You can remain calm and not take it on the chin though.

    And what's this bullshit about analyzing her psychology. What does that even mean? What, she's emotionally unstable now that she's had a foursome? Grow a pair and move on, UNLESS you want to be in an open relationship.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: She had a FOURSOME while we are dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikee View Post
    You like brutal honesty, here is one for you
    To the hell with the game, and all that frame shiit you're talking about, because at the end of the day like Blistex put it you gotta stay true to yourself man. When everything settle down you got to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and know that you didn't let yourself down trying to become somebody else.

    A leader ain't afraid to say what he likes or dislike and doesn't need to reach into a "logic-based" data bank to produce an idea of what he think about something. The game is meant to be incorporated into your personality and make it better not make you a puppet.

    You said you ain't mad because you haven't set any boundaries yet, but rather would just like to understand tht girl psychology? Well let me ask you this, when did you plan on setting boundaries? Also I'm very curious in understanding your psychology, how can you understand her sexuality when she experiencing it with other people?
    I wholeheartedly agree that you need to be comfortable with believing what you tell people you're comfortable with, and I think you're right that sticking to your guns is a quality in a leader. I also feel the greatest leaders are the ones who look at the world in a slightly different way from everyone else, occasionally reaching down into 'that data bank' for a new perspective, and sometimes seeing what is the most radical point of view and being open to it.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: She had a FOURSOME while we are dating

    F*** her psychology. There's one thing I would do in this situation. Tell her you want a foursome with her and her two hottest friends. If she gets all offended tell her she already had a foursome. What's the difference if she has another? That's what you want. If she gets all pissy who cares. If she won't do it then tell her you will find someone else who will then leave. Walk away and never look back. Being 100 percent honest with a woman is so liberating! Do it and you will love yourself for it. There's a decent chance you will get a foursome out of the deal. If you don't, at least you told her what you wanted and you left.

  4. #14
    Banners90's Avatar
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    Default Re: She had a FOURSOME while we are dating

    Had to read this one after the title and after doing so; feel compelled to throw my views in the mixer.
    Quite simple really;

    Fark her and her experimentation!

    I personally wouldn't stand for that sh*t, but if your out for just a lay then this bird should see you right for it, so all good.
    However, I gather this one was more relationship material in your eyes. If she has morals like this fark her off. Kinda been in the same situation myself. I heard stories and rumours about a bird I was trying with (quite shocking and filth acts) and as I was out for relationships I didn't pursue any further.

    You don't need this dude.
    PER ARDUA AD ALTA

  5. #15
    kasparonii's Avatar
    kasparonii is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She had a FOURSOME while we are dating

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    F*** her psychology. There's one thing I would do in this situation. Tell her you want a foursome with her and her two hottest friends. If she gets all offended tell her she already had a foursome. What's the difference if she has another? That's what you want. If she gets all pissy who cares. If she won't do it then tell her you will find someone else who will then leave. Walk away and never look back. Being 100 percent honest with a woman is so liberating! Do it and you will love yourself for it. There's a decent chance you will get a foursome out of the deal. If you don't, at least you told her what you wanted and you left.
    Great! That's it. The only way out, if you're interested and still want to keep dignity. Tell her to prepare a foursome with you and two of her girlfriends. And don't let her tell you to do the preparations. She's already experienced in foursomes, thus she will take the lead. And expect nothing less than a "Sure, honey, I'll do it for you". Tell her you want it in less than, say, 48 hours or something. Otherwise, stand up and leave.

    I believe that you want to have a "foursomable" girl who you can control, not a girl who comes home and tells "honey, I've just had a foursome, pity you lost it again, poor guy".

  6. #16
    dboiipdx is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She had a FOURSOME while we are dating

    I greatly appreciate the input from all different angles. As the dust has settled a bit, I've realized that it's most important to feel like I'm being honest with myself and not trying to stick to a script.

    In reality, life is not a movie. We watch James Bond and idealize ourselves as reaching his characters level of alpha maleism. But the fact is, no matter how sexually and emotionally mature we are, we all want connection and to feel valued. No matter how advanced we are, we will come across girls that will make us want to forgive, forget, and work things out. If you're only goal is to get lays, then you will become a sociopath of sorts, detached from the real human connections that make life a real and invigorating experience.

    I've realized that I've been a sociopath of sorts, and rather than accept and seek understanding of the emotions and thoughts I've been experiencing from this situation, I've sought to fight those feelings and replace them with the feelings and mind sets of an idealized version of myself.

    I will be true to myself. If it feels right to continue building this relationship, that's what I'll do. If it feels right to demand an ultimatum of a foursome with her hot friends, that's what I'll do. If I can't handle the decision she made and feel like I need to walk away and create space for myself to seek new opportunities, that's what I'll do.

    I will accept my feelings and be critically aware of them. What remains will be truth, and I will act accordingly, with no regret, because I am being myself.


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