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  1. #1
    the fiddler Guest

    Default Help - I Am Getting Mixed Signals

    The other day I was hanging out with a girl I'm pursuing. We were sitting on my floor, talking when I started in with some Kino, rubbing her back. Then I started massaging her knee, while staying perfectly focused on what she was saying, letting her know I was listening. We moved in to my bedroom, and she sprawls out on my bed, face down. We're still talking, but now I'm gently brushing my fingers on her ears and the exposed skin on her lower back, and brushing her hair with my fingers. We end up cuddling on my bed, no words, just holding each other. It is late, and she has to be up early for work the next morning. I offer to let her spend the night, but she refuses. She gets up to leave, and I ask her for a hug. She complies, and we are embracing one another for a long while. I start kissing her neck, but as I move for her ears she gives me a quick kiss on the neck and pulls away. She heads for the front door, I follow her, and we are standing there saying our goodbyes, when SHE leans in to kiss me. I give her the most impassioned kiss of my lifetime, keep in mind that this is the first time we have ever kissed each other. She leaves, and I say "See ya." Or something to that effect. She turns around with a smile and responds, "Oh, I'll definitely be back."

    I was drinking with my room mate the next day, and called her. Maybe it was a mistake to call her up right away. Then I called her again a few days later to offer her a date. Neither time I have I gotten any kind of response from her. Part of me is thinking that I should confront her at work, but I don't want to make the same mistake a third time, if indeed I did make a mistake. Another part of me is thinking that I should just forget her and start seeking out other women, and if she comes around then great. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    I also just read this thread on mixed signals.

  2. #2
    Mwood245 is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Mixed Signals

    Sounds like what i was (and still kinda am) feeling towards this one girl. After several make out sessions and a little fooling around we talk a lot less than we used to over txt and the phone. Their suggestion to me was to simply not worry about it. If you make it a big deal in your mind it will be. Instead you should try to see some other girls and just see if this chick comes around. Don't contact her unless you have something you wanna say to her or are bored.

  3. #3
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: Mixed Signals

    Wait a week, and then call her up. You showed neediness and now she is a little scared. When you call her up, don't hint about where you left off. You tell her that you just want to hang out and watch a movie or make dinner or something. If she wants to hang out sooner, that is awesome, but don't initiate.

    As a little side note to the start of your post:
    Unless you complete misread her, she was really into you, but just couldn't stay for logistical reasons. Excellent use of Kino by the way.

  4. #4
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

    Default Re: Mixed Signals

    Very interesting and thank you for posting this. I'm having a hard time with learning Kino and this really would give me some ideas on how to go about it in my own game.

    I just wish I had a room with the girl I like so we can progress things lol...

    As for your case, I would go with what GnG said and wait a bit before msging her again. I'm dealing with this very same issue too. I think I showed the girl I like neediness + lack of kino and she's going into default mode.

    Best of luck to you mate.

  5. #5
    Pinai Guest

    Default Re: Mixed Signals

    Either she's playing you or really regretted what she did/how far you've progressed that night. That doesn't mean she didn't like getting physical, just that she may have some reason for the regret. Girls are weird that way

    If you really like her though... do give her a call again. Like what the others have suggested, after a week or so will be fine and better ask her to do something in public (park, zoo, carnival, library, coffee shop, theater, bazaar, etc) so her guard won't be up and you can give her a chance to think if she'd want to say goodbye physically later.

  6. #6
    TopGuy Guest

    Default Re: Mixed Signals

    It would be a mind boggling situation if a girl exhibits mixed signals. We have to crack the codes before getting into the information and meaning.Well, if you are really into this girl wait for a while if she makes a contact with you. If not, go out and find some other girls.

  7. #7
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: Mixed Signals

    Don't think of this as a MOD response, or a cement answer, but It may be possible that you took her to the bedroom to soon.
    Using MM, bedroom is S1, so the model states, don't go to S1 unless you are going to go to S3, in that moment she loved it, but now she isn't in that moment, and she feels uncomfortable being with you, cause she thinks it means immanent sex.

    When things start escalating and you are sure that you wont have sex, try this "I think we may be moving a little fast, cant we just hold each other?"

    Think of this as a newbie answer, I wasn't there and didn't see or feel what she saw and felt.

    edit: "See buyers remorse" (But I think this was an invaluable lesson for you, and I would be very proud to get as far as you did)

  8. #8
    royalflash Guest

    Default Re: Mixed Signals

    Quote Originally Posted by the fiddler View Post
    The other day I was hanging out with a girl I'm pursuing. We were sitting on my floor, talking when I started in with some Kino, rubbing her back. Then I started massaging her knee, while staying perfectly focused on what she was saying, letting her know I was listening. We moved in to my bedroom, and she sprawls out on my bed, face down. We're still talking, but now I'm gently brushing my fingers on her ears and the exposed skin on her lower back, and brushing her hair with my fingers. We end up cuddling on my bed, no words, just holding each other. It is late, and she has to be up early for work the next morning. I offer to let her spend the night, but she refuses. She gets up to leave, and I ask her for a hug. She complies, and we are embracing one another for a long while. I start kissing her neck, but as I move for her ears she gives me a quick kiss on the neck and pulls away. She heads for the front door, I follow her, and we are standing there saying our goodbyes, when SHE leans in to kiss me. I give her the most impassioned kiss of my lifetime, keep in mind that this is the first time we have ever kissed each other. She leaves, and I say "See ya." Or something to that effect. She turns around with a smile and responds, "Oh, I'll definitely be back."

    I was drinking with my room mate the next day, and called her. Maybe it was a mistake to call her up right away. Then I called her again a few days later to offer her a date. Neither time I have I gotten any kind of response from her. Part of me is thinking that I should confront her at work, but I don't want to make the same mistake a third time, if indeed I did make a mistake. Another part of me is thinking that I should just forget her and start seeking out other women, and if she comes around then great. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Maybe she thinks things are just getting faster than they should be. She needs to build more confidence on herself for you. If she is like other girls who are very wild and open minded and it's okay to take things faster, she will definitely get naked with you on bed.

    Try to invite her to go out with you, just a casual hang out in a park or cafe. Ease the Tension that happened between the two of you. And maybe, the momentum will come back and you can finally continue what has been halted and cut.

  9. #9
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: Mixed Signals

    I would invite her out with you and some other friends who she already knows. And kinda ignore her for the first hour to two, don't be a dick, just don't try to cage her in or get anything from her. Infact, I would even get your friends to invite her, but she should know that you are going to be there. Maybe you can get her to go out with you to get a pizza or something low investment afterwords (<- that means cheap, easy, and public), but preface with (I have plans tonight so we cant hang out long, come and get some pizza with me and hang out) <- this is basically a false time constraint, but for your date.

    The date false time constraint isn't very tested, so let me know how it goes, I feel very iffy posting anything that hasn't been tested 200-300 times, but it may help if you shot past the first stages of comfort too fast and built up buyers remorse.

    She needs low risk. As for dating, alot of guys think you can go from C1 on the first date, right back to C1 on the second. If you were making out at the club, and then she jumps in the car on the second meeting and is acting a bit nervous, you need to start back up from where ever she is, and quickly move back to making out, but if she jumps in and kisses you again, ok, move on from there.

  10. #10
    Ridikulus Guest

    Default Re: Mixed Signals

    Nice reminders there Instinct. I guess guys have the tendency to forget that girls swing from one mood to another and that they like being wooed. Plus, they sometimes also overthink and develop some conscience, shyness and who knows what else in the interim. Best indeed to take our cue from them.


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