I've been getting a lot of Emails asking for advice on jealousy, so I wanted to share my opinion on the subject.
First off, this is a very difficult subject for everyone. Before I was good with women, I also had painful jealousy issues. Since then, I've resolved them and come to grips with some facts about jealousy which I hope to share with you below.
Start with the reality of the situation:
She has had sexual relations with other guys before you.
She will be with other guys after you.
This is a powerful realization.
If you are NOT exclusive, she is probably dating other men, assume that she is and do not let it bother you. If it does bother you, find other interesting women to date as soon as possible. If you are meant to be together, at some point you both will stop sleeping with other people and be exclusive.
Remember: You do not, nor will you ever, own her. If you think you can control her, she will burn you at some point.
At some point, she will definitely be attracted to other men. That is OK. That is normal. That doesn't mean anything about you.
Never try to manipulate or change her behavior. It will just create resentment. If you want her to stay with you, instead of trying to change her, make sure to stay interesting, stay your best self and keep her invested in you.
Jealousy is the one emotion that the more units of energy you put into it, the less results you get. The most success that I have ever had with amazing women was when I gave them the full freedom to do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted.
They always came back to me and didn't want anyone else. The converse is also true.
Not all women are honorable. In fact, many are just as bad or worse than your buddies in terms of how faithful they are to their partner. If she shows too much interest or investment in another guy in front of you, then move on.
Also, keep in mind that women use jealousy to try to get you interested. I have seen many women that I am dating or interested in flirt with another man after hitting it off with me, just to test if I like them. The absolute best response is to encourage
that activity as it will quickly lose it's appeal and she will stop. The worst thing you can do is let it impact you and react negatively as she got what she was seeking and you are now encouraging her bad behavior which will be repeated.
Jealousy is a powerful tool and can be used effectively to generate attraction. For instance, if she sees you with another girl, she will be jealous.
Being mellow and not jealous, does not mean EVER putting up with second-class behavior. If she treats you bad in front of her friends or in public, calmly tell her that that is not acceptable.
If she chooses to continue this behavior, then dismiss her quickly with a "this is a not a good fit" and breakup.
Without a doubt, at some point she will be attracted to someone else while you are dating. This is normal human behavior. If she tells you that she is attracted to someone else, she is testing to see if you react. Your only reaction should be saying this, "If you guys are a better fit, then you should pursue being with him".
If she is actively attracted to someone else in front of you, ask her to tone it down. If she doesn't and continues to flirt or otherwise show interest and mating signals, don't take it personally, she just is more attracted to that other person and not
a good fit long term for you and you both are better off being with
These are my thoughts - but I would love to see how others have dealt with this issue.
(this is from my goodstuff collection here: http://www.puaforums.com/goodstuff/jealousy/)