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Thread: Facing a dilemma - help please

  1. #1
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Facing a dilemma - help please

    I have met one girl (let's call her girl A) through an acquaintance of my parents, which I really like. The problem is that she came to me for job advice as she is currently unemployed. During the first meeting, I just kept it at a friendly level. However, after digging a bit further, turns out we are exactly the same age and she's totally my type AND single. We met for coffee one week after our initial meeting. Things went ok but there was no flirtation either. I did manage to build some comfort with the cube routine, but I really want to take things further than that. She likes going to the cinema, so I promised her I will take her to this cool movie that few people know about. We are actually supposed to go watch it this week. I really intend to escalate things, but I am bit worried that this girl is simply not interested and that she hangs out with me for networking purposes. Sure, we have of common interests and identical views about life, but the spark is still missing. I wonder if this is a lost cause... but it's worth the try in any case.

    Now, I have been gaming some other girl (let's call her girl B) way before I actually met girl A. Things are going well and she has shown IOIs several times. We even agreed to have a movie night at my place this week as well. The way things are going, we will most probably end up in the bedroom (unless I don't make any move at all).

    To be honest, I like girl A much more than girl B (actually I totally dig girl A), but I feel like that I have to make up my mind asap as the dates are coming up very soon.
    1) I don't even know where I stand with girl A and things may never evolve. I might be wasting my time in the end.
    2) Girl B is almost a given and it is up to me to take things further. However, if things drag on too much, I will lose her interest

    So, I need to make a choice or I may end up losing both chicks. Additionally, I don't feel like being a player and dating 2 girls at the same time, so this option is out of the question.

    I really need some objective advice on this as I am totally stuck.
    What do you guys think? What would you do?

    Thanks in advance, mate!

  2. #2
    BigT is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Facing a dilemma - help please

    I didnt see this post before i posted on the other one but ill add on it. this is a good time to dhv, keep your date with both but on the last day flake on girl A and come up with a excuse that a billionaire or Eminem would say. That will probably create more attraction with girl A while you get to have fun with girl B. Also you won't need to date any. You can't cheat on. Anyone if your notndating another girl. Just invite girl B over but insist that its a hangout that will lead to a hook up instead of a date.
    I may be a starter but I like to help whatever ways I can

  3. #3
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Facing a dilemma - help please

    Hey BigT,

    Thanks a lot for your reply!
    I kinda agree with you that, since I am not in a relationship, there is technically no problem gaming different girls.
    I am not so sure about the last-minute flaking. It's a deal breaker for me if a girl starts flaking, so they could feel the same over this.

    Now, my problem is that girl B wants a relationship. If we end up in bed, she will think we are together. However, I wouldn't want to give her that impression and that is why I have been hesitant to act too flirty with her.

    In other words, if I sleep with girl B, it will be seen as some sort of commitment and I will then not be able to game girl A, whom I like more. Then again, if I spend too much time gaming girl A and, girl B might lose her patience.

    My problem is that I do not have the luxury of time and must make a choice: either play it safe and game girl B or game girl A and risk losing both.

    The other alternative is taking it slowly with girl B: I show some interest but never take it too far. I can pull that strategy for 2 weeks at most. Longer than that, she will most probably lose interest.

  4. #4
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    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Facing a dilemma - help please

    Game both? You can't be forced into a relationship. If she thinks after sex you guys are dating, that's most likely your fault. If she brings up a relationship you could say something like, "I'm totally attracted to you and enjoy spending time with you, but I'm not in dating mode right now. I still want to keep seeing you though." If she agrees, cool. If she doesn't well now you know. NEVER SETTLE. If you don't like girl B, don't start a relationship with girl B.

  5. #5
    BigT is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Facing a dilemma - help please

    What he said. And don't flake last minute just flake like two days before saying you have to cover for some one at your work or your friend wants you to go paintballing. And never settel for girl b if you like girl a. also make it sure to just keep saying it's a one time thing while you escalate. (I think that helps with sexual Tension to do win win) and after you do your thing with her and she ask you for a relationship and shit say your not ready or something .
    I may be a starter but I like to help whatever ways I can

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Facing a dilemma - help please

    Quote Originally Posted by lilsting View Post
    Game both? You can't be forced into a relationship. If she thinks after sex you guys are dating, that's most likely your fault. If she brings up a relationship you could say something like, "I'm totally attracted to you and enjoy spending time with you, but I'm not in dating mode right now. I still want to keep seeing you though." If she agrees, cool. If she doesn't well now you know. NEVER SETTLE. If you don't like girl B, don't start a relationship with girl B.
    I would sleep with Girl B and see girl A. You do not owe either girl exclusivity. You're not in a relationship with them. Girl B assuming the relationship if there is sex is being a typical girl unless you promised her there'd be a girl. I never define the relationship, so then a girl can never complain later. Flaking a few days in advance is fine, though is try to make both work.

    Good luck bro!

    Side note: you have a great dilemma. Which girl should you date? Can someone say abundance?? Nice!!

  7. #7
    BigT is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Facing a dilemma - help please

    Again what I'm trying to convey. Thanks for adding on my point guys. This is a very good situation .
    I may be a starter but I like to help whatever ways I can

  8. #8
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Facing a dilemma - help please

    That's some great advice here, mates! Thanks a lot!
    I will game both then and see how it goes.

    About the flaking, isn't it a bit too soon to pull that trick? I met girl A 2 weeks ago and have seen her twice only. First meeting was almost professional, second meeting was friendly and me testing the waters. I suggested a third meeting yesterday but she couldn't come. Given that I have not build attraction yet, I do not think flaking would have any effect on her. On the other hand, if she starts having feelings for me, it would certainly be seen as a dhv.

  9. #9
    BigT is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Facing a dilemma - help please

    If you flake a bit soon it will play into your hands to because it says your reliable and won't leave things to the last minute. If you flake last minute your just some asshole that don't want to see her. Get my point?
    I may be a starter but I like to help whatever ways I can

  10. #10
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Facing a dilemma - help please

    Hey hey, I finally secured a date with girl B for a movie night at my place on Friday

    Now, I am thinking when it would be best for me to contact girl A. I will probably send a text either on Thursday or Friday and suggest we meet on Saturday or Sunday night. She seems to be more of a house-cat, so I don't have the impression she does a lot on week-ends (well, she is unemployed, so it's not like she has the money for it).

    She will probably accept, but as I said in my other thread (http://www.puaforums.com/ask-expert/...ce-please.html), she might be doing so for networking purposes. I guess our next meeting will kinda be decisive on whether I end in the friend-zone or not.


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