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  1. #11
    Dandy Guest

    Default Re: GF pushing me around. Help!

    Been reading the forum for a while but never posted before, but when I read what you wrote I had to register and post.
    I was in a relation for 4 years, but at the end I was in the same situation as you now find yourself.. And it did not end well.
    Im not saying it might not be different in your situation but I doubt it, really I do.
    As Bill said earlier, chances are she is blowing you off because she is allready interested in someone else, like in my case.
    And I was just like you, I never thought about it happening, not in a million years but after a while I finally grew a pair and demanded the truth.. Lo and behold, she had found someone else.
    Unfortunately this situation was so similar I just had to post.. Even if it meant registering and posting with my phone.

    - Dandy

  2. #12
    Artfulmove Guest

    Default Re: GF pushing me around. Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dandy View Post
    Been reading the forum for a while but never posted before, but when I read what you wrote I had to register and post.
    I was in a relation for 4 years, but at the end I was in the same situation as you now find yourself.. And it did not end well.
    Im not saying it might not be different in your situation but I doubt it, really I do.
    As Bill said earlier, chances are she is blowing you off because she is allready interested in someone else, like in my case.
    And I was just like you, I never thought about it happening, not in a million years but after a while I finally grew a pair and demanded the truth.. Lo and behold, she had found someone else.
    Unfortunately this situation was so similar I just had to post.. Even if it meant registering and posting with my phone.

    - Dandy
    Wow. Thanks for that man. Mind you that isn't exactly what I want to hear! As I said earlier, it's extremely difficult to explain my situation properly throught the internet, and so hard for me to explain this, but again, I really don't think it's another guy. She's also quite a shy girl and easily misunderstood. And maybe she's just not as into me as I am her. I hoping it's just a combination of all those things and that in time they can be fixed. Anyway, we'll see. It'll be interesting to see where things are at a month from now.

    Cheers for your reply though. Means heaps.

  3. #13
    Dandy Guest

    Default Re: GF pushing me around. Help!

    Well atleast spend the month apart, NOT walking around thinking about her. That sh1t will rip your brain to shreds.
    Go out with friends, have fun, perhaps meet other girls if just for the social aspect of it, just dont sit at home spending time wondering about it.
    Good luck !

    - Dandy

  4. #14
    Artfulmove Guest

    Default Re: GF pushing me around. Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dandy View Post
    Well atleast spend the month apart, NOT walking around thinking about her. That sh1t will rip your brain to shreds.
    Go out with friends, have fun, perhaps meet other girls if just for the social aspect of it, just dont sit at home spending time wondering about it.
    Good luck !

    - Dandy
    Haha will do bro. Trust me I've got the meanest summer planned.

  5. #15
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

    Default Re: GF pushing me around. Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Artfulmove View Post
    She came on MSN. I told her I was sorry for not getting her memory stick to her on time (So petty), but was also straight up, asking why she couldn't make it the last 3 days. I'm not gonna go into what she said, but we both put all the drama down to all the misunderstandings through getting my friend to txt her on my behalf.

    I was also honest and suggested that we should properly meet up before she leaves in a couple of days. I told her I understood she would be busy packing and stuff, but that she should try and find time to meet up, even if it was only 20 mins.

    But she said sorry, no she couldn't because she had a hell of a lot of packing to do, which is fair enough. Yes, you guys will probably see that as her once again avoiding me and not wanting to see me, and of course there's the possibility you're perfectly right, but I'm not letting her go just yet. We'll have a break from each other when she's out of the country, but I'll definitely talk to her again when she comes back, and just see how things go from there.

    Thanks heaps guys for all your advice and wish me luck! (I will be re-reading 'The Game', maybe buying another good PUA/Attraction book, and will be spending more time on PUA Forums in the mean time, to try and improve my Game).

    Thanks again.
    Alright, that's your choice and I respect that. But I just wanted to add a point that no one can be so busy that they can't even see you for even just 5 mins if they have to. If this girl is truly that into you she would even meet up just 1 min for a kiss goodbye before leaving. People will make time for things that are important to them.

    Heck she could say "I absolutely have no time to see you, how about you come over and we can spend some time together while i pack?"

    You see what I mean?

  6. #16
    Bill Preston's Avatar
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    Default Re: GF pushing me around. Help!

    Artful.

    Listen up for a min.

    I wish someone had pulled me aside like this when I was in your state about 10 years ago (prior to being a PUA).

    Despite the intense feelings you have for this girl - for whatever reason, she doesn't feel them back.

    That is OK.

    She might have a guy on the side, she might like someone else, she might be nervous about her trip, she might have some dude waiting for her where she is going.

    It doesn't matter. She is not treating you with the love, respect and attention that you deserve.

    Again, this is OK - but you are not being true to yourself if you don't stand up for yourself.

    MAN THE F**K UP.

    I can recall a girl I was so in love with it was RIDICULOUS and she liked me, but I think I smothered her and she started becoming distant and moved on.

    Man it SUCKED. REAL BAD.

    The harder I tried to get her back, the more she didn't want to be around me.

    I bet almost every guy who reads this has had a similar situation.

    Anyways, reminds me of a theory that I heard...

    When something doesn't work, instead of trying something else - some men just do the same thing harder.

    Example: I am showering her with attention and affection, calling her and giving her gifts but it isn't work. So instead of trying something new, like doing the opposite... I am going to give her more attention, gifts and affection.

    That NEVER works man.

    And guess what, not trying to brag man but now that I am what I would consider very successful with women - I am now sometimes on the other end of it.

    Women who I've lost interest in, just want me even more. They do anything for me, take me out to dinner, will do anything sexually, will buy me stuff, go out of there way to take care of things for met etc, etc.

    That doesn't make me want them more, it is REALLY weird but it makes me want them even less.

    So I digress and return to my original point.

    My best advice:
    1. Break up with her now (even over MSN or whatever which I normally wouldn't condone)
    2. Ignore her if she tries to contact you, completely cut her off.
    3. Get over it (cry or whatever it takes - I won't lie, I've definitely cried over broken relationships).
    4. Lay low for a day or so, play COD4 or whatever.
    5. Call 4-5 other chicks you know and arrange a fun thing to do over the next week or so with each.
    Examples: hit the bars, make stir fry, go to the dog park, watch a movie while drunk, go to a play, whatever.
    These girls do not have to be hot, but they should be cool and fun.
    6. Try to hook up with a few of them, hopefully all of them.
    7. Go out with your buddies and run some game, again - try to get some numbers or make-outs, or whatever.
    8. If this girl calls you when she gets back, you will have a real life, you will be busy. Busy is sexy.
    You will have confidence cause other chicks want you.

    Then YOU can decide if this is something you feel like pursuing again.

    If you shortcut these steps and hope to just get to step 8, you are wrong. It won't work.

    Good luck my friend.

    BP

  7. #17
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: GF pushing me around. Help!

    ^^ Exactly, I think most of the real PUA's started this game immediately after being in your exact position. I know I did.

    (But we didn't call it pua back then, we called it becoming interesting and confident, and guys like Bill weren't there to give you proven, effective advice....)


    edit: For me, her name was Virginia, she was smoking hot (way out of my league, at least then), and I was a fat boring needy kid, who she was honestly gaming the whole time. When I lost her, I got depressed for like 4 weeks, doing endless drugs in living in bed, then something snapped, I didnt give a fuck, and I decided to put myself 100% on the line and do everything to be the best male specimen ever, no matter what.

    I got in fantastic shape, I built a big social circle, I god the coolest, boldest clothes and wore them with balls, I started doing local rock and roll shows in a band that I organized, I built up a successful career, I forced myself to fake it till I made it with confidence. I put myself on a tight schedule and read at least 500 pages from book that would make me more interesting per week. I joined clubs, I hung out with as many women as I could, I didn't care what they looked like. I started reading Cosmo and Men's health. I got 100% into the game to get this girl back. Now I don't even want her back, and yes, she really has been trying to make contact with me.
    Last edited by Instinct; 12-15-2009 at 09:13 AM.

  8. #18
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: GF pushing me around. Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystery_wannabe View Post
    Alright, that's your choice and I respect that. But I just wanted to add a point that no one can be so busy that they can't even see you for even just 5 mins if they have to. If this girl is truly that into you she would even meet up just 1 min for a kiss goodbye before leaving. People will make time for things that are important to them.

    Heck she could say "I absolutely have no time to see you, how about you come over and we can spend some time together while i pack?"

    You see what I mean?


    Yes! If she wants you, she will make time, she will cancel on just about anything to watch the worst movie and eat the worst pizza with you.

    Never listen to a women words, they are useless and garbage and mean nothing. Actions are everything with women.

  9. #19
    Ambition Guest

    Default Re: GF pushing me around. Help!

    Everyone's advice is exactly right. When it comes to having a girlfriend, the moment things get weird most of us here go into AFC mode and try to please her more, and the end result is always the same; you're making it too easy for her and she becomes more distant.

    Leia said it best. "The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers."

  10. #20
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

    Default Re: GF pushing me around. Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Instinct View Post
    ^^ Exactly, I think most of the real PUA's started this game immediately after being in your exact position. I know I did.

    (But we didn't call it pua back then, we called it becoming interesting and confident, and guys like Bill weren't there to give you proven, effective advice....)


    edit: For me, her name was Virginia, she was smoking hot (way out of my league, at least then), and I was a fat boring needy kid, who she was honestly gaming the whole time. When I lost her, I got depressed for like 4 weeks, doing endless drugs in living in bed, then something snapped, I didnt give a fark, and I decided to put myself 100% on the line and do everything to be the best male specimen ever, no matter what.

    I got in fantastic shape, I built a big social circle, I god the coolest, boldest clothes and wore them with balls, I started doing local rock and roll shows in a band that I organized, I built up a successful career, I forced myself to fake it till I made it with confidence. I put myself on a tight schedule and read at least 500 pages from book that would make me more interesting per week. I joined clubs, I hung out with as many women as I could, I didn't care what they looked like. I started reading Cosmo and Men's health. I got 100% into the game to get this girl back. Now I don't even want her back, and yes, she really has been trying to make contact with me.
    I can relate. I've had this girl about a year ago who I totally fell in love with. I didn't like her as much at first, but something happened I was dying to have her. Yet, needless to say I was the one being gamed because she was actively seeing other guys.

    I caught her going out with another guy at a mall nearby and being a big AFC at that time, I got very jelous and angry. The guy looked better than me and seemed to be a lot more confident than I am.

    We went on a date later (maybe it was out of pity?) and basically I ended up boring her out and I couldn't even make a simple decision of crossing the street when I had more than enough time (I was not confident). She on the other hand told me to cross instead.

    From that moment on I felt like I've had a big slap in the face. I went to the gym, started working out having the ambition of being the different guy out of any group of males I encounter. I want to be known as the best with women. I want all those girls who've I've had bad experiences with to see the new interesting me and show them what they've missed out on.

    Here I am today working hard at it.


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