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  1. #1
    Twister is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default The mother of all sh*t tests?

    This past Saturday night was great in the moment. In retrospect, it was incredibly awkward. After a few days, I still don't know to make of what happened.

    BACKGROUND: Somewhat recently, I met Girl A who I clicked with immediately. We flirt often and she initiates a good amount of Kino. She also appears to place a tremendous amount of trust in me (personal details, etc.). The issue? She's in a LTR. A close friend of mine noticed it on Facebook and showed me. Based on the way she and I interact and the fact she has never brought up her boyfriend, I was convinced this relationship was weakening. I became even more sure of my belief when Girl A said she'd be down to get a drink once she gets off at a decent hour (we work late hours, she's had to go home on off-days because of a family tragedy). My friends laughed at me. As you're about to read, I might have last laugh.

    On Friday, the same friend noticed that Girl A took down her relationship status. The same day, a girl friend of mine showed me a text of Girl A mentioning how she was going to spend time with her boyfriend that night. So, two conflicting actions.

    Saturday was the moment of truth. A couple friends and I went out to grab a drink late after work. Girl A eagerly asked me if she could join. Said she was bringing a friend, and texted me a few times to ask which bar I was going to. A few minutes after I met with my friends at the bar, Girl A shows up - with the guy who was the bf. I believed my time had come to an end and braced for the bad news. Until she introduced him to us as her FRIEND.

    Girl A and the "friend" didn't talk to one another the entire time. They sat on opposite ends of the table. She didn't even look at him. Meanwhile, she and I hit it off, while also having a good time with the rest of the group. The "friend" was nice enough, but was rather quiet. He only really spoke when I or another friend initiated the conversation. Because he lives about 800 miles away (was staying with her obviously, but left early Sunday) and he didn't really know any of us, I picked up his tab. Felt it was the classy thing to do.

    Still confused by what happened the next day, Sunday, I was trying to figure it all out. I ran into Girl A and said the previous night was great, and it was nice to meet her friend/boyfriend. She immediately looked me in the eye and made it clear that "he's just a friend." She continued to be her usual self around me the rest of the time. At one point, she told me the "friend" told her later that I'm a great guy. Umm...???

    There are simply so many questions. He flew in to see her (even though she was working both days he was here), but they're "just friends" now? They both came out, but didn't talk the entire time? The day before, she told my girl friend that they were dating? Does any of this relate to me?

    A girl who was out with us (dating my friend) and my girl friend eerily came to the same theory: Girl A and the guy were fighting. Because they were dating for a little while, he flew up to see her to try and figure things out/save the relationship, but she dumped him. Out of niceness, she brought him out with her.

    What do you think?

  2. #2
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The mother of all sh*t tests?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twister View Post
    This past Saturday night was great in the moment. In retrospect, it was incredibly awkward. After a few days, I still don't know to make of what happened.

    BACKGROUND: Somewhat recently, I met Girl A who I clicked with immediately. We flirt often and she initiates a good amount of Kino. She also appears to place a tremendous amount of trust in me (personal details, etc.). The issue? She's in a LTR. A close friend of mine noticed it on Facebook and showed me. Based on the way she and I interact and the fact she has never brought up her boyfriend, I was convinced this relationship was weakening. I became even more sure of my belief when Girl A said she'd be down to get a drink once she gets off at a decent hour (we work late hours, she's had to go home on off-days because of a family tragedy). My friends laughed at me. As you're about to read, I might have last laugh.

    On Friday, the same friend noticed that Girl A took down her relationship status. The same day, a girl friend of mine showed me a text of Girl A mentioning how she was going to spend time with her boyfriend that night. So, two conflicting actions.

    Saturday was the moment of truth. A couple friends and I went out to grab a drink late after work. Girl A eagerly asked me if she could join. Said she was bringing a friend, and texted me a few times to ask which bar I was going to. A few minutes after I met with my friends at the bar, Girl A shows up - with the guy who was the bf. I believed my time had come to an end and braced for the bad news. Until she introduced him to us as her FRIEND.

    Girl A and the "friend" didn't talk to one another the entire time. They sat on opposite ends of the table. She didn't even look at him. Meanwhile, she and I hit it off, while also having a good time with the rest of the group. The "friend" was nice enough, but was rather quiet. He only really spoke when I or another friend initiated the conversation. Because he lives about 800 miles away (was staying with her obviously, but left early Sunday) and he didn't really know any of us, I picked up his tab. Felt it was the classy thing to do.

    Still confused by what happened the next day, Sunday, I was trying to figure it all out. I ran into Girl A and said the previous night was great, and it was nice to meet her friend/boyfriend. She immediately looked me in the eye and made it clear that "he's just a friend." She continued to be her usual self around me the rest of the time. At one point, she told me the "friend" told her later that I'm a great guy. Umm...???

    There are simply so many questions. He flew in to see her (even though she was working both days he was here), but they're "just friends" now? They both came out, but didn't talk the entire time? The day before, she told my girl friend that they were dating? Does any of this relate to me?

    A girl who was out with us (dating my friend) and my girl friend eerily came to the same theory: Girl A and the guy were fighting. Because they were dating for a little while, he flew up to see her to try and figure things out/save the relationship, but she dumped him. Out of niceness, she brought him out with her.

    What do you think?
    I think it is great she likes you so much. Your game is obviously great if a woman who may be in contact with other guys is interested in you... Now for the wake up call:

    I think you are overthinking this and can blow yourself out of this set if you keep overthinking.

    First, her status on Facebook is irrelevant, especially when she didn't bring it up to you. Her texting about a boyfriend but not bringing it up with you also means you should not worry about it. You should focus on your relationship with her and not her relationship with anyone else. It's not your responsibility to Define The Relationship between her and the guy.

    Who knows or cares who the guy was? Likely, a person she had attraction for, and he was probably interested in her, but let her do what she wants.

    Don't EVER bring up any reference to a boyfriend. Then, she looks like a cheater in front of you if she knows you know and you are less likely to sleep with her. If she has a boyfriend but thinks you don't know, she's happy that her secret is safe and is more likely to sleep with you. Why have to worry about Boyfriend Destroyers when it's not necessary?

    At the end of this, I think she likes you. I think it will be very helpful for future sets for you not to worry about who else is gaming her and just care about your game with her.

  3. #3
    D1v1ou$$'s Avatar
    D1v1ou$$ is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The mother of all sh*t tests?

    Would dramatic be the right word for this? And maybe a Sh1t Test for him to see how he'd react to her with another guy. You may have been a pawn in her scheme, who knows but her. Nevertheless, you played it decent, I personally wouldn't have bothered worrying myself with the whether or nots pertaining to her potential "boyfriend" as it never really affected any connections you had with her.

    Bringing it up to her may have shown too much concern as you were occupied by something other than you alls progress, don't sweat it, at least you didn't freak out and you played it alpha like by not responding negatively. Just focus on what your doing and what you got going on, if need be that other stuff is what boyfriend destroyers are designed for.
    You can't miss something you've never had, but I can be sure she will regret her opportunity...

    Better known as Debauchivalrious...

  4. #4
    Twister is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The mother of all sh*t tests?

    Appreciate the insight. The main reason I had been dwelling on the bf angle was because I usually don't get myself involved with taken girls. Just not worth the drama. I didn't bring up anything about her hiding a relationship, which was good. You're right though, just focus on the relationship between she and I.

  5. #5
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The mother of all sh*t tests?

    I respect that. Definitely got myself into a few sticky situations when the husband didn't seem to think the relationship was as open as the wife did, but it's way too much work to do with every girl and you'll lose a lot of perfectly good sets from weird relationship technicalities that don't mean anything to her.


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