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Thread: 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

  1. #1
    Kain1984 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

    Hi guys

    I'm wondering if this happens to anyone else. I'm going on quite a few dates on POF and I seem to be stumbling on all the sport daters as most of them don't answer my texts at all after the 1st date. Others will maybe answer one or two but will eventually fade into darkness.

    Here's my date guidelines and I'm moving within those pretty much every time

    -Getting to know each other, I tell my story and hear theirs
    -Going for the kiss close to 1 hour in the date. This usually varies with the girls reaction. I'm always moving slowly as if she's winning me over and I'm very smooth at choosing my first kiss moment. I've almost never been denied the kiss
    -I look to find out about her and make her invest, have her talk a lot about herself and connect
    -I have a good sense of humour which I'm obviously squeezing fully at every date. Every girl laughs and giggles all night at my dates.

    Yet as much as I'm led to believe that these are the components for a great 1st date I can't get a 2nd one to save my life. Some of them agree on the first date that they want to come to mine next time to try my cooking skills full of enthusiasm and eagerness. How much they love my sense of humour and that they find me really good looking are compliments I'm happy to hear quite often. But when afterwards texting comes into play, boom! Flake!

    I have a good profile of both pics and about me sections. Suffice it to say it's good since I'm pulling a lot and it's quite congruent with my personality. I thought online dating would be more relationship oriented. Does this happen to you guys as well and does anyone have any advice as I'm really tired. I'm thinking I'm probably doing something wrong as I've met so many pretty girls for all of them to disappear and I'm so frustrated and I have lost patience

  2. #2
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

    Sounds like you build too much comfort and rely on too much of the stuff they expect to talk about.

    You need to build up attraction escalate. Opening is done by website meet up keep things playful and escalating. Don't be boring and normal.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  3. #3
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Kain1984 View Post
    Suffice it to say it's good since I'm pulling a lot and it's quite congruent with my personality. I thought online dating would be more relationship oriented. Does this happen to you guys as well and does anyone have any advice as I'm really tired. I'm thinking I'm probably doing something wrong as I've met so many pretty girls for all of them to disappear and I'm so frustrated and I have lost patience
    Do you just pull? without the push? Sounds like to me that you are a nice guy without the bad boy edge. About your good sense of humor is it cocky and funny? If it isn't then you are on the wrong track.

    Many will say to have a time bridge. I on the other hand most of the time leave the girls in the dark about a 2nd date. Especially after having a good time I let them think about whether I am interested in meeting again.

    It sounds to me that you are pulling to much and not being mysterious enough!
    Make the impossible possible!

  4. #4
    Kain1984 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

    I was being cocky funny at first but then I had 2-3 girls tell me I'm so full of myself (within funny parameters of course) so I tuned it down a notch. My profile is quite cocky as it is. I'm still bring cocky funny just much less than I used to. I tease as much as I can but teasing doesn't come out right to all girls.

    I like your idea about leaving them in the dark. What do you mean time bridge in this case?

    Also I was thinking that getting a kiss on the first date was always a good idea. How to leave them in the dark and get the kiss on the first date though? It's funny, I can almost sense when they're ready to be kissed and go for it which probably why I've never been denied a kiss. Or it can be just that they see me moving closer and just expect it.

    Also how do you go about your texting game after the 1st date? I usually tell them to text me when they get home and if conversation goes from there I keep it over the next few dates. Otherwise I just text after 2-3 days (hoping she might text in between but that rarely happens) and as soon as she replies suggest another meet up. More often than not they don't reply at all at this point though.

  5. #5
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Kain1984 View Post
    I was being cocky funny at first but then I had 2-3 girls tell me I'm so full of myself (within funny parameters of course) so I tuned it down a notch. My profile is quite cocky as it is. I'm still bring cocky funny just much less than I used to. I tease as much as I can but teasing doesn't come out right to all girls.
    C&F is my strength, but not all girls have a sense of humor and can take the C&F. I also have been told that I am full of myself and guess what... they loved it! Just maintain your frame. From C&F you can easily transition to Kino. Do you escalate in your kino?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kain1984 View Post
    I like your idea about leaving them in the dark. What do you mean time bridge in this case?
    Check the hyperlink, i.e. click on time bridge. It basically means to state something that will allow you to have a 2nd date. If I do it then it is very vague, in order for them not to think that they have me. Or I do not hint at a 2nd date at all, and let them wonder and think if there will be a 2nd date.
    You need to be the prize for them.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kain1984 View Post
    Also I was thinking that getting a kiss on the first date was always a good idea. How to leave them in the dark and get the kiss on the first date though? It's funny, I can almost sense when they're ready to be kissed and go for it which probably why I've never been denied a kiss. Or it can be just that they see me moving closer and just expect it.
    Maybe you are doing it to early (more kino beforehand). Maybe you need to improve your kissing. There is not enough info here, but generally speaking kissing on the first date is ok.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kain1984 View Post
    Also how do you go about your texting game after the 1st date? I usually tell them to text me when they get home and if conversation goes from there I keep it over the next few dates. Otherwise I just text after 2-3 days (hoping she might text in between but that rarely happens) and as soon as she replies suggest another meet up. More often than not they don't reply at all at this point though.
    If you are not good at texting just simply call them. I text whenever I feel like it and always with C&F to keep it interesting. And also there is no regularity in my texting which drives some of them furious (but then I know that I have them). Read up on the texting do's and dont's on this forum. There are some good hints there.
    Make the impossible possible!

  6. #6
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

    Kissing on the first date is a must! Your doing really good to have all these dates from a dating website. Those things can be tricky to get girls to meet you in person. Besides that its hard for me to say why these girls are flaking. I never have a girl flake on a second date if I k-close on the first date so its hard for me to understand what's going on.

    Perhaps your date's are too long. How long are your dates? I like to keep a first date to 20 min- 1hour myself. It leaves them wanting more. It's ok to go longer than that if your having a good time.

    Look man, your already doing better than 95 percent of the guys on POF. Be happy about that and find a trend in your dates that are preventing them from going further. Once you figure that out you should be golden.

  7. #7
    hometownextra's Avatar
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    Default Re: 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

    Agreed above with date duration a drink or coffee is more advantageous than dinner longer durations become awkward quickly after you ur low on material. Only exception to the hour rule is if you can change venues and create 3 mini-dates
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  8. #8
    Kain1984 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

    Oh I was afraid we would start getting different opinions

    I usually calibrate for the kiss see when she's ready and in my proximity. I rarely go wrong on this one. Evidently a kiss doesn't really mean a 2nd date though. In fact I have had 2nd dates with women I haven't kissed.

    This a bit of a counter-intuitive part. I'm starting to think that you shouldn't kiss a girl if she's not ready and some of them just aren't on the first date. I've had girls sit across me (or next to me with a 1 meter distance) on a first date and I've had others sit straight on my lap with their lips being 5cm away from mine.

    I'm not so keen on getting first date bangs as much as having an impact and having the girl wanting to see me again. Just that the consensus seems to be that a first date bang makes her much more likely to see you again anyway.

    A couple of less attractive girls I've dated have expressed interest to see me again so maybe that could be a hint that I'm just too keen for the girls I really like.

    Since I'm lucky enough to be pulling often I'll try other options and keep calibrating. Until then other opinions are most welcome. Just lately I went out with three girls I really liked and noone showed any interest in seeing me again.

  9. #9
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Kain1984 View Post
    Oh I was afraid we would start getting different opinions

    I usually calibrate for the kiss see when she's ready and in my proximity. I rarely go wrong on this one. Evidently a kiss doesn't really mean a 2nd date though. In fact I have had 2nd dates with women I haven't kissed.

    This a bit of a counter-intuitive part. I'm starting to think that you shouldn't kiss a girl if she's not ready and some of them just aren't on the first date. I've had girls sit across me (or next to me with a 1 meter distance) on a first date and I've had others sit straight on my lap with their lips being 5cm away from mine.

    I'm not so keen on getting first date bangs as much as having an impact and having the girl wanting to see me again. Just that the consensus seems to be that a first date bang makes her much more likely to see you again anyway.

    A couple of less attractive girls I've dated have expressed interest to see me again so maybe that could be a hint that I'm just too keen for the girls I really like.

    Since I'm lucky enough to be pulling often I'll try other options and keep calibrating. Until then other opinions are most welcome. Just lately I went out with three girls I really liked and noone showed any interest in seeing me again.
    So you see yourself that you are doing well. There are times when you do your best and you still do not get further with a girl, so do not forget that it still is a numbers game. Of course you can improve your game and girls can sense very well your interest. If it seems to them that you are needy then they back off. So try to look at that if you are showing them too much interest.
    Make the impossible possible!

  10. #10
    TomInVegas's Avatar
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    Default Re: 10 dates, not a single 2nd date. Sport daters problem

    Great Post!! It sounds like you are a fun a social guy. I would make the goal of every first date to f close her. Even if it doesn't work out on the first date, you have shown your intent and it will make a second date more likely. Set up the dates close to your house, go for the pull and see what happens.
    Hit me up if you're thinking about coming to Vegas. It's the Best City for Game in the World.


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