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  1. #1
    asvp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Girl keep Dodging my questions?

    Met a female that was a waitress, saw her on campus approached her got her number. Fast foward i text her set up a meet at Starbucks on campus


    We chill for a hour, everything is great we say our good byes she text:

    Her:That was nice
    Her: did you enjoy your berry refresher
    her: with extra berry
    me:We should do it again, and yes the drink was good should gotten a larger cup (shit was good)
    Her: Its pretty sunny out side


    She dodges my statement about hanging out again, and says it sunny out out, which was a inside joke i was teasing her about how its never sunny in ohio during the fall.


    I dont talk to her for about week after this, and realize i guess i was not clear on my intentions to hang out again. Fast foward a week.


    me: lets grab lunch tomorrow
    her: i can't tomorrow
    her: im really sorry

    After this i was about to just delete contact but i felt it was pretty genuine with the "really sorry" rather than "i cant"

    so..

    me: lets grab lunch tomorrow
    her: i can't tomorrow
    her: im really sorry
    me:no worries, tell me when your free and we can practive our "zen garden" - (inside joke she was telling me about how in class they have to crawl over each other and its called a zen garden")
    her:so it's friday
    her: and i havent gotten starbucks since last week

    ^^her last message was another inside joke i was teasing her about how she cannot live without starbucks so i told her not get get it for a week, but still dodges my intent to hang out again


    Should i just say on to the next one?

    advice, thx - sorry for long post.

  2. #2
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl keep Dodging my questions?

    Hmmmmm. This is a tricky one. It definitely seemed deliberate on her part to dodge your question.

    She said she was sorry before because she didn't want you to think less of her. Even if a woman isn't interested in you she still cares what you think of her and she will often be nice about it.

    The way I see it is you have two options. You can just tell her that you don't have time for silly girls who play games(or use some other more polite way to tell her you're not interested)or you can keep pressing her about why she didn't answer you. The second is dangerous territory though because you risk coming across as desperate and needy. I'm glad you didn't do anything(yet) apparently.

    So all you can really do at this point, in my opinion, is chalk it up as a learning experience. Tell her you just want to be friends. I'm serious about this. You should actually go out of your way at this point to let her know you just want to be friends and that maybe when she has some free time you two can hang out as buddies. This takes the pressure of her and makes you a challenge. If she goes for it then definitely tell her about other women you are seeing. The important thing here is that you actually see other women(but even if you don't let her think you have other options anyway). Also, if possible have her see you with other women.

    So what can you do next time so something like this doesn't happen again? Simple. Qualify the girl you are talking to more. If she's a blonde say you usually only date brunettes. If she's a brunette tell her you usually only date blondes. If she likes rap tell her you usually only like girls who listen to metal etc etc. The key here is to say "usually." You want to put up a barrier for her to leap over not a wall.

    To answer your question I would say on to the next one but also try to do what I recommended which is see if you can make her your friend. That way other women who see you with her will know you are a guy who surrounds himself with women. If these other women ask you about her then say "oh she's just a friend."

    That's all I have for now. Just remember to be a bit of a challenge next time and not act too interested in her. Let her earn it.

  3. #3
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl keep Dodging my questions?

    She is stringing you along and you are making yourself too available.

    You need to turn the tables and make her qualify herself to you. You need to keep yourself in her mind but without making yourself too available. Sounds also like you spent an hour working on comfort and rapport when you should have been escalating. With more than one inside joke that shows lots of comfort, which in this case is I believe running you on the express train to LJBF. Need to remember keep things playful and define what you want. Dating and comfortable friends are not the same thing. Unfortunately our social programming always try's to sell them the same way, they aren't and have to be marketed completely different.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  4. #4
    asvp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl keep Dodging my questions?

    We were at a starbucks on Campus (In our student union) how much can you escalate there, besides light touching...'

    Ive only hung out with her once, so yes i was trying to build rapport to even see if i want to spend time with her hence why i asked her to lunch to to attempt to to relive that friend zone shit.


    just to make it clear the , lets have lunch, text was only once.. not twice

  5. #5
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl keep Dodging my questions?

    Escalation is more than physical I cannot stress that enough. Friendly conversation gets you friends, playfully conversation is much better. Body language plays a huge role in escalating and asserting interest in more. Most importantly here frame control likely was your undoing the frame became friendly and not one of romantic interest. Do not get me wrong you need comfort and rapport but if you get too much early on they will not risk losing the friendship to a possible failed dating experience. Which I realize that this is all a very fine line whilst in such a group dynamic as student union but that is where creativity has to come into play and you have to find other ways to convey interest romantically other than words.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  6. #6
    asvp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl keep Dodging my questions?

    I see what your saying, i felt during the 1 time we hung out it was more than friendly as far as eye contact went, and body language.


    Just via texting she is weird - I'm thinking with all the dodging ill just chalk it up as a L, but part of me dosesnt want to.

  7. #7
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl keep Dodging my questions?

    Back down for a couple days then reengage from a different angle. You don't have to throw the white flag in the air yet.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  8. #8
    asvp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl keep Dodging my questions?

    yea thats what i plan on doing ill let it breath for a week or so..


    but i mean i legit hate texting and rather meet inperson but at the same time should even attempt to try to schedule a time for lunch? or just try to ccasually text her shit


    btw the for the help im very new to this

  9. #9
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl keep Dodging my questions?

    It comes with time I have a litany of good articles I recommend but most deal with interactions in person or real time as I call it.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  10. #10
    asvp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl keep Dodging my questions?

    Say i have not said anything to her for a week or so - And she has not initiated any form of contact, safe to assume not interested

    or should i try to re initiate.

    i feel like it should go both ways, im usually the first to say something, if someone is intrested they would try to say whats up , ya think?


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