Hey, new here and looking for advice. I wrote a lengthy post but had to log in again, and it deleted everything gah.. probably better this way -- it needed to be condensed!
Here's a few things you should probably know:
ABOUT ME: I'm 21 and in college. Pretty smart, fairly good-looking, well traveled and pretty interesting if I say so myself. I'm introverted, but not particularly "shy" and have good social skills. So, I have no big glaring innate problems with myself.
THE GIRL: I'll call her "Laura". She's absolutely gorgeous, petite, asian, very exotic looking.. pretty much looks like something out of Need for Speed Tokyo Drift. She's a social butterfly and a wild party girl, though not slutty or trashy despite first impressions. Very funny, very outgoing, friendly and fun to be around. I have a huge crush on her, but I hide it fairly well.
BACKSTORY: I met her about 8 months ago at a party. She caught my eye and I was compelled to meet her -- I had to. Added her on facebook a few days later and talked to her using facebook chat every few days. This lasted about a month, and I ended up having some pretty decent conversations. I am pretty smooth when it comes to text-based communication, but was hesistant to meet her in person (more on that later). I saw her at another party and spoke to her then during this time, but outside of that there was no physical presence. Eventually it kind of died off.
Until about 2 months later when she gave me a random text message. I had given her my number before but I didn't even think she had stored it in her phone, so I was suprised when she texted me asking if I was trying to party. I ended up seeing her that night, and despite being very drunk, had a good time. I then started hanging out with her more, and texting her a bit more. We mostly hung out at parties but chilled outside of that a few times too. I was not aggressive at this time and was still a bit nervous and hesitant around her, besides she had a boyfriend at the time.
Summer comes around and she leaves for a few months. I keep in touch, she came down a few times and would let me know when she was in town (or I would inquire when she would next be in town). More hanging out and partying, more inaction on my part.
Eventually school started up again and it picked up basically where it left off. Shortly after the semester started I started hanging out with her very seldom, though would still ocassionally send a text message. I started getting in the Mindset that she was probably incompatible with me. Recently, I have started hanging out with her a bit more, and I learned a few more things about her and getting good vibes from her and I'm more attracted than ever.
THE ISSUE: Basically I want her to feel attraction towards me. I'm ready to be more aggressive now, but I'm a bit unsure how to tackle this.
First off, I know 8 months is a long time to wait, but I do not think I am trapped in the "friendzone". I've never hung out with her more than maybe 3-5 times a month, I've kept my distance a bit because 1) I play very conservatively towards girls I'm really interested in and 2) I absolutely do not want to get into the friendzone, so have avoided getting "too close". Getting close to her isn't really an issue (shes friendly and open enough), I just didn't want to do it without being aggressive because I knew I'd get mired in the friendzone.
I text her fairly often. Not everyday, not even every other day really. I'm very careful not to overburden her with texting her all the time, or calling her all the time... I feel like I'm bugging her or annoying her, despite not really getting any indication that she actually feels that way (all in my head I know). Problem is, I find it very hard to actually hang out with her. I often ask what she's doing, if she wants to hang out or get some food/coffee... 90% it's a no with some sort of seemingly legit excuse. I'm starting to get suspicious that she is blowing me off, but again that could be me imagining things. However, if I text/call her at night, I'll almost always get an invitation to come meet her at a party (like I said she parties a lot).
I don't really get the impression that she is attracted to me, but I also don't get any indications that she is uninterested either. She acknowledges me if she sees me, smiles, hugs and says "Hi" enthusiatically, which sounds good but.. she's just friendly and social by nature, she does this to everyone. Recently I went to a party she invited me to, but couldn't find her.. I called and she said she was upstairs talking to someone. I responded that I would leave if she didnt come down, and about 2 minutes later she surprises me with a big hug from behind. I say hey, socialize and eventually leave to another part of the party.. I'm very careful not to seem needy or follow her around, the absolute LAST THING I want is for her to find me annoying or creepy. Eventually I talk to another girl and start flirting with her.. but Laura comes in and semi-interupts and has a conversation with me (!!!!! Good sign for sure right?). We have a pretty good conversation there and even throw in some light flirting (I almost never flirt with her, again with the conservative play, its lame I know). However I'm a bit unsure if she is just giving me attention because she actually is attracted to me, or just hasnt seem me for a few weeks. Later that night, I do break the touch barrier on the couch, and we kind of both half-lay down on the couch and speak breifly.. nothing too intimate but definitely within her personal space.
It was a good night and I felt very confident about my chances with her and I'm more relaxed and comfortable around her than ever.. this was last week, and I've been texting her more often this week. Usually I only texted her to see if she wanted to do something, but I've been just asking how shes been doing on finals, how shes doing etc. Most of the time she gives me a response.
SO BASICALLY.. I'm really into this girl and thanks to some personal courage and good vibes I've been getting lately I'm ready to be more aggressive here. I'm just not sure what to do here. I know it sounds like she's into me, but remember: she's very good looking, very social and gets a lot of attention from guys; the way she acts around me isn't anything particularly special. I don't think she sees me in a sexual or romantic right now (though, I suppose it is possible), but I think if I play my cards right I can totally get her to feel that way.
Any tips or suggestions? Like I said before, I have little luck trying to hang out with her outside of parties. She also doesnt use IM or anything so it's hard to have a good decent conversation with her to bond. Should I remain persistant here in trying to get her to hang out with me one on one? How should I approach this and get her to become attracted to me?