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  • 1 Post By youngpadawan
  • 1 Post By TomInVegas

Thread: selective responses, i'm stumped!

  1. #1
    youngpadawan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default selective responses, i'm stumped!

    Ok i tried googling/searching for this topic but can't seem to find one more specific to my situation for forgive me if i'm repeating an old topic. long story short: there's this kinda shy and maybe even conservative? girl i've been trying to get with. i've met her a couple times for coffee and we really hit it off. herein likes the problem: i've been trying different ways to see how she reacts and build a connection with her and she responds really well to conversational texts n even subtly flirty ones (the successful example below can also be found in my previous post)

    her: hey dudeee
    me: why do u keep calling me dude, do i look like a frat boy to u!
    her: yes! haha
    me: fine, u want me to downgrade u from pretty bff to bad bff?
    her: sureee, dudeeeee LOL

    but anything even remotely beyond that i get no response. for example:

    me: hey pretty girl, u got my (some item she was supposed to lend me) yet?
    no reply

    i'm afraid to do anything too forward or forceful cos it might scare her away (slightly shy and conservative). i tried looking through some texting and game guides here and tried a couple different things (cocky and funny, dhv, hooks etc...) but she only seems to respond to genuine and very mildly playful convos. what should i do and what's my problem? should i try to build a deeper, genuine connection before trying anything?

  2. #2
    TomInVegas's Avatar
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    Default Re: selective responses, i'm stumped!

    Quote Originally Posted by youngpadawan View Post
    Ok i tried googling/searching for this topic but can't seem to find one more specific to my situation for forgive me if i'm repeating an old topic. long story short: there's this kinda shy and maybe even conservative? girl i've been trying to get with. i've met her a couple times for coffee and we really hit it off. herein likes the problem: i've been trying different ways to see how she reacts and build a connection with her and she responds really well to conversational texts n even subtly flirty ones (the successful example below can also be found in my previous post)

    her: hey dudeee
    me: why do u keep calling me dude, do i look like a frat boy to u!
    her: yes! haha
    me: fine, u want me to downgrade u from pretty bff to bad bff?
    her: sureee, dudeeeee LOL

    but anything even remotely beyond that i get no response. for example:

    me: hey pretty girl, u got my (some item she was supposed to lend me) yet?
    no reply

    i'm afraid to do anything too forward or forceful cos it might scare her away (slightly shy and conservative). i tried looking through some texting and game guides here and tried a couple different things (cocky and funny, dhv, hooks etc...) but she only seems to respond to genuine and very mildly playful convos. what should i do and what's my problem? should i try to build a deeper, genuine connection before trying anything?

    Great job keeping this girl interested and interacting with you! My suggestion is to NOT try to build connection and attraction through text. It's too hard and is easily misinterpreted. Use your texting only for light flirting so that you can then set up the next meetup/date with her. When you are in person with her is when you can build a real connection.

    You also seem to be putting yourself in the friend zone by referring to her as a BFF.
    Hit me up if you're thinking about coming to Vegas. It's the Best City for Game in the World.

  3. #3
    youngpadawan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: selective responses, i'm stumped!

    i'm pretty apprehensive about setting up anything beyond a simple coffee for fear of her backing off but then again this would mean being stationary. anyone has any good non-confrontational-ish or non-intimidating way of asking her out? i tried going like 'u should show me around (her neighborhood) sometime' after we had coffee and she let out like a sheepish 'haha *smile*.

  4. #4
    twentynine's Avatar
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    Default Re: selective responses, i'm stumped!

    Texting can work but it takes a lot of practice and you pretty much need to flop a bunch before you will get any results, it's trial and error.

    I started texting a girl at around 8pm tonight and by 1030pm, and after about 15 texts back and forth I simply said "You seem like a fun girl. Let's get a drink or something sometime" to which she relied "Lol I'd love to!"

    Keep in mind it's much harder to do this through texting if you haven't done it very much, so it's much better to call her, or talk to her in person. But if you need to do it through text for whatever reason.. First come up with a better nickname for her than BFF (Tom said it best). Flirt a bit but show your value, talk about your pets or hers if either of you have any, be funny.. Keep things short and sweet and make it hard for her to misinterpret anything. Then when it feels like a good moment, tell her to get a drink with you sometime (I suggest doing this at night). If she agrees; Call her the next day, start with small talk and end the convo with making your plans for the date.

  5. #5
    youngpadawan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: selective responses, i'm stumped!

    SITREP:

    Thanks twentynine! considered using what u said above but considering that we've hung out and she doesn't drink or party i've been trying out different shit, some fail, some work. meh...

    sent a ping text last week: hey pretty girl! u found the (stuff) she was supposed to pass me yet?

    no reply. never mind, lesson learnt, don't launch straight into anything flirty.


    bout a week later after cooling off, fired another ping text with more caution than usual:

    Me: Hi strager wassup?

    Her: Hey ''dude'' nothing much (i rip on her for calling me ''dude'', kind of an inside joke)

    Me: Wotchu been up to besides being awfully quiet? :P

    Her: seriously nothing lol... You??

    Me: procrastinating homework lol u ready for finals? (i know i know, boring but i've found that if i launch too soon or in fact ever into something overly tease-y or flirty she kinda backs off)

    Her: ugh don't even remind me lol

    ok at this point i'm tired, ran outta ideas and from past lessons daren't not proceed too boldly in case i spook her so all I could think of was

    Me: U can't complain, woman! u don't have to deal with crazy (class im taking) rofl

    Her: lmfaooo

    Me: (made up some random joke)

    Her: lmfaooo you're funny!



    How should I now proceed to set up a tete-a-tete? So far we've only hung out on campus a couple times for coffee, I tried to push for something outside/stepping it up and did the usual 'show me around ur hood sometime' to no reply. I assume she knows im interested by this point and I don't wanna do any vague friendzone beta shit but nor do I wanna scare her off by being too direct. HELP & critiques of my shitty but improving game please?!

  6. #6
    youngpadawan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: selective responses, i'm stumped!

    update: played around with a couple ideas, my first successful attempt to get a girl to qualify herself!

    Me: So i've heard lol. when are u gonna make me laugh?

    Her: Eyyy im funny too

    gonna find a way to spin this into a date. any suggestions?


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