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  • 1 Post By Dwill
  • 1 Post By Dwill
  • 1 Post By sedux

Thread: Help on how to proceed with this convo

  1. #1
    Dwill is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Help on how to proceed with this convo

    So I started talking to this chick on POF (she's 20 i'm 24) a few days ago. She didn't have much on her profile. This is the initial message I sent her:

    Me:
    Hi there, I came across your profile which seemed quite interesting. You seem like a cool, and positive person. You have a beautiful smile by the way
    I hope you find my profile as interesting as I found yours
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I didn't get a response. The next day I sent this:

    Me:Hey I'm sorry if I scared you away. That wasn't my intent. I just thought you wanted to meet an outgoing and outstanding person. Maybe it's something with my profile? You stated that you're open minded; getting to know someone begins with a friendly "hello."

    Then she responded:

    her: You didn't scare me away; hello, nice to meet you

    me:Well that's good to know.
    So would you be looking for anything serious here? Just browsing?
    (I asked this due to the limited info on her profile)

    her: Honestly, I just got out of something serious and long term and I think it would be best if I didn't jump into anything too soon. I'm taking this time to cool off a bit and hopefully meet some people in the process.

    me: Ok that makes sense.
    I'm just here to make some friends and possibly let things progress to something more.
    So are you originally from Texas? Or did you move there to study?
    (she had her profession listed as student)

    her:Sounds like a plan.
    I'm originally from Texas, I've lived here my entire life. I'm transferring to the University of Texas by next fall

    (the above messages were sent within the same day)

    Meone day later) So what do you do for fun on weekends?

    Besides studying

    her:For fun? haha
    well I enjoy watching movies and all, but I love being outdoors more than anything. Concerts are great too
    ---------------------------------------------------------

    and this where I'm at. How do I proceed from here to make the conversation interesting and not turn into a boring interview? Any feedback will be appreciated.

  2. #2
    msa173's Avatar
    msa173 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Help on how to proceed with this convo

    Hey Dwill I like that your trying to continue the conversation unfortunatly in my experience and a few of my friends as well; if you don't try to setup a physical meetup ASAP you could be talking to her forever on POF and not actually get a meetup. My suggestion is to try to meetup with her for ice cream or something (if she was over 21 id say drinks)
    Looking for new wings in LA let me know if you want to sarge together.

  3. #3
    Dwill is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help on how to proceed with this convo

    Yea my preference would be to meet up right away as well. I just just don't want to bring it up in our first few messages. I know many girls say they want to feel comfortable talking to the person before they meet. And seeing that she just got out of a relationship I don't want to seem too pushy.

  4. #4
    sedux is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help on how to proceed with this convo

    Dwill,

    As somebody mentioned before, you wanna get her out of the online mode into the real world and meet asap. Unlike in real world game, you ruin your chances creating too much comfort online.

    You did the right thing by asking her about her hobbies and stuff. Now, you need to use this information to your advantage and ask her out for the upcoming show of that movie or concert. Before, maybe ask her what genre she's into, when it comes to movies or music. Then come up with something suitable and get both of you share a real-life experience.

    Be upbeat but cool so it is not conveyed as stressing and threatening. Obviously, she is looking for people to have fun with, so that's where you pick it up from. The good news about sharing emotional experiences is they will link her emtions to that event which included you. This is a great basis to take it to the next level and escalate physically.

    Don't even think of mentioning anything related to relationship or dating and things will be able to progress naturally.

    Good luck!
    sedux

  5. #5
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help on how to proceed with this convo

    Dwil. I love the persistence and you're interest in getting to know her. Don't do that online. Do that in person. Online dating should be incredibly light and playful. I've got a whole list of do's and dont's with that. Tinder is specifically my specialty.

    From where you're at now, find when she is available and set up a meet up.

    Say "Haha nice. I love outdoors stuff too. Let's go for a hike sometime ?"
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  6. #6
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help on how to proceed with this convo

    Quote Originally Posted by Dwill View Post
    Yea my preference would be to meet up right away as well. I just just don't want to bring it up in our first few messages. I know many girls say they want to feel comfortable talking to the person before they meet. And seeing that she just got out of a relationship I don't want to seem too pushy.
    You are over thinking all of that. I am going to provide brutal honesty here to give you a quick wake up call. Then, feel free to ask me whatever you want. Not trying to bash you, just want you to get past all your limiting beliefs quick.

    1) Don't ask if she is looking for a serious relationship EVER
    2) Don't ask girls for advice about girls only about 5% actually know what works and doesn't work for them, The same girls who say that you can't get a girl's number quickly are the same ones that say that the guy should pay for everything and that Same Night Lays only happen to dumb girls, but never them
    3) They will give you their number if you seem like a fun happy-go-lucky guy. Most guys online are creepy because they ask too deep of questions too quick. Your initial message to her was WAY too much. Too long, too serious.

    All this being said, I applaud you for coming onto the Forums and asking for advice. Please keeping asking questions to learn and grow. The fact that she responded to your messages demonstrates she is very interested in you. Before you ask for the number, set up a date, then get the number. The goal with online dating is taking it off line as quickly as possible.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  7. #7
    Dwill is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help on how to proceed with this convo

    Here's where the conversation is at right now. The last thing she said was :

    she:For fun? haha
    well I enjoy watching movies and all, but I love being outdoors more than anything. Concerts are great too

    me:lol well there's always the option of watching movies at the theater. So what sort of concerts do you go to? Musical? You did mention that you play the guitar.

    she:True lol
    Hmm, well I'm a 60's junkie, I love classic rock and jazz. In fact, I'm really excited for an upcoming concert in May. Just in time for my birthday! I enjoy going to musicals as well, but don't go very often. I do play guitar, I'm self taught and have been playing for 5 years. So, tell me more about yourself

    me:Oh your birthday is in May? :O so you're telling me that cake has already been eaten months ago? (one of her pics had a ckae in it) Aww man I was hoping you would offer me a slice.

    This concert must really be something.. to have you making plans half a year in advance. Just don't tell me it's jazz.

    I'm more of an outdoors person myself. Most of the time I might just be hanging out with friends though. Goofing off talking about absolutely nothing. lol

    Since I only moved here a few months ago, I'm still short on close friends.

    By the way I'm (my name). I hope you're enjoying your day.

    (and this is the last thing she said below. I haven't responded yet)

    she: Yup, my birthday is May 5th. They are actually 2 rock bands that I absolutely love Journey and The Steve Miller Band. I am pretty psyched for it! I enjoy hanging out with friends too, but I haven't lately.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    thanks for the advise so far but one thing though.. we don't actually live THAT close to each other. We're like a 6 hour drive apart so meeting up can't be too spontaneous.


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