How early do you establish this (after how many dates), and how do you say it in a classy matter-of-fact this-is-the-way-it-is way?
First date, guy pays for the drinks. And the pool or the bowling or whatever activity. Fine.
Second date, should you pay for everything? Third date? At what point should she pay? You have to train her that you're not the provider and you have to establish this early on. You want her to be invested.
Do you say, "Next time you're taking me out for drinks, dinner etc" - and hold her to it ("so, where are you taking me for dinner?") Or, do you say, "you're buying the next round." Or Come with me to the game we'll be going dutch." Or "Go out with me On Monday You pay for the ferry tickets and I'll pay for lunch." Do you come right out and say "I believe today's modern woman should pay for dates equally with the man so next time you pick up the tab". "There should be mutuality in every aspect [of a relationship], including spending"
The old view is that whoever suggests the date pays for the date. Since the guy is almost always asking the girl out, it can be a bit awkward to establish that the man is asking but the girl is paying....
How do you guys handle this?