Advice would be very much appreciated!
1 year ago I met a foreign girl online (24 years old). We kept contact during the winter, and the summer this year we met for the first time. I visited her in Ukraine. I was there for three days, and it went well. She took really great care of me as a foreigner who doesnít speak the language. At times we had a great connection, she was very excited about holding hands etc, and I kissed her many times, but no sex. On the third day I really pushed for sex, we were outside my hotel and I tried to convince her to come in with me. She explained to me that she had to be sure that I loved her and that she loved me before we could have sex. Quite traditional, maybe inexperienced. But the next day she seem more excited than ever, so I suppose it was good for something.
Also I pushed for her to come visit me in the autumn, but she didnít give a clear answer. I pushed some more at a later point, but she still didnít give a clear answer.
Anyway, a few weeks after I got back home she told me she was coming to my country with her mother (it was a group travel). She was not coming to my city, but we had a possibility to meet one of the days when she was in a city nearby me. We only got two hours together because her schedule was tight, and the meeting was so-so. Too short and I was tired because I had to get up very early. Also she was a little distant and aloof. And before we parted I asked her when we could meet again but I didnít get a clear answer. It seemed difficult because of her tight schedule at work and studies (she does both).
Later this autumn I felt that things were going better, and I asked if she wanted to visit me during Christmas, and she said ďyes maybeĒ, but she had to check out her schedule at work. We have kept contact (chatting at skype) during autumn, and I think we have had great contact at times, some bantering forth and back and flirting. I also asked her at one point if she wanted to move here at some point, and she said yes, maybe, but that it was a difficult question. I regret this because it was too early to ask this before we know each other very well.
Last Friday (one week ago) I asked again about visiting me (Christmas is very close now), and then she say that she canít decide if she can come or not, because she is uncertain about her feelings. Sometimes she thinks that we only can be friends. Then I ask what her main concern is and then she explains that some guy broke her heart one or two years ago, and since then she thinks that she still loves him. She knows it is stupid, but she canít help it. This would explain why she is aloof at times, but it also means that she lied to me earlier. Because I asked her before we met if she ever had been in love before, and she said ďno, I was with some guys only out of sympathyĒ. Also I asked her about past relations when visiting her and I got the impression she has not been in any real relationships.
Anyway, I got very disappointed of course. I replied to this that she can take as much time as she needs to think, but that Iíll go on with my life, although she can contact me if she changes her mind. She thanked me for understanding and being so kind. Then we said good night and I logged off.
I know itís hard to tell for anyone, but would you believe her explanation about the other guy? She says Iíve done nothing wrong and itís all her fault. She has been quite aloof at times, which would match well up with the explanation about the other guy.
Also I maybe did some mistakes the last few weeks, as I have sent her a few ďromanticĒ messages. I called her my dear a few times (which I know is too early), and I sent her a message with some hearts arranged as a riddle for her to solve. I did this because she has been aloof lately and I wanted to get a reaction, make a spark, and tell her I cared..
Itís now nearly one week since we communicated, what do you suggest I do?