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  1. #1
    Abie23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default She says she doesn't plan, but she does but doesn't realize it

    I have a girl who I went out with twice, that is my age. I am 3 months older than her and I am 25. The first two times it went pretty well. We just saw a movie each time, which wasn't ideal but I could live with it. The first time she canceled on me saying she had a cold. Then at 7 o'clock she texts me saying lets go see the movie Catching fire at 8. So I pick her up and we go see it, and she was in her pajamas for the first time we went out together. Not that I care about that.

    Now I originally planned for our first time that we would go out to dinner. But she didn't know my plan was that. We go out a second time, and we saw American Hustle.

    So for the third time I was going to surprise her and take her to a show on Xmas night (we are both Jewish). So I text her last night and here is how the chat goes so far:



    ME: Keep Wednesday night on your calendar open.
    HER: Y
    ME: You + me = City.
    ME: Just check to make sure you have nothing planned.
    ME: I got a surprise for that night.
    ME: Just make sure that you don't have any last minute plans.
    HER: What is it
    ME: If I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise
    ME: Confirm with me and i'll make the arrangements right now.
    HER: I'm not sure
    HER: I don't plan

    I then tried to call her and she didn't pick up. So she replied back to me like 20 minutes later and said

    HER: Watching a movie.
    ME: Same. I am watching Beverly Hills cop
    ME: Anyway, I'll call you back in like an hour or so.
    ME: Maybe more

    Today:
    ME: Hi
    HER: Hey
    ME: What are you up to all day.
    HER: Work
    ME: Same. Just a boooooring rainy day.

    ---------------------

    This is where we are now. Now, what I was originally going to do when I called her was tell her that she plans stuff all the time and say stuff like "what do you think you do when you go to work every day? You plan it" and stuff like that. But I couldn't get her on the phone last night for whatever reason.


    My objective is to get her to say yes (without her trying to cancel or change plans) to Wednesday night but keep it a surprise.

    She happens to not "plan" things as she says, which I believe, but I think she is more spontaneous than anything.
    On our 2nd time out, we were going to go see a movie (a different one) then she asked if I wanted to see American Hustle instead of what I originally had planned. She is more spontaneous in my mind.

    Where do I go from here?

  2. #2
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says she doesn't plan, but she does but doesn't realize it

    "Your mom probably didn't plan you either,yet here you are"
    Just kidding don't say that xD

    But man,you're texting her a lot,does she ever initiate the chats ?You seem to be sticking to the rules of texting,except for the fact that you're not using texting for flirting/teasing.You're just boring her with your texts :

    I mean that "Same.Just a booooring rainy day" line is just lame.

    I would have replied with something like : "Sounds like fun,wanna take my shift too ?Just to double the fun ?"Or something stupid like
    that.

    As for this text :

    "ME: Keep Wednesday night on your calendar open.
    HER: Y
    ME: You + me = City."

    This should have been enough.

    This part :

    "ME: Just check to make sure you have nothing planned.
    ME: I got a surprise for that night.
    ME: Just make sure that you don't have any last minute plans."

    Was unnecessary,it wouldn't lead to that conversation,if she asked what is it,you should have just replied with :"We're going out".

    If she said,"I don't plan",reply with "There's always first time for everyone",keep it short,simple and straightforward.

    Whatever you do,don't tell her what you were planning to with your lecture about how she has plans every day and stuff.

  3. #3
    Abie23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She says she doesn't plan, but she does but doesn't realize it

    We do happen to text back and forth a good bit. Not a lot, but we exchange a few words. She has initiated texts with me in the past saying stuff like “its so cooooooooooold”

    The idea of “Sounds like fun, wanna take my shift” is a good reply.

    As for the part

    "ME: Just check to make sure you have nothing planned.
    ME: I got a surprise for that night.
    ME: Just make sure that you don't have any last minute plans."

    I did that because she already canceled on me once. Also, when we went out the 2nd time she texted me earlier in the day and said “I forgot I have to go to a friend’s shower.” Then she realized she made a mistake, and it was the next day. She has a habit of actually canceling last minute. She did it twice, but somehow we went out both days.


    As for right now, I am thinking along the lines of texting her back and saying “Anyway, for Wednesday we’re going out. I’ll pick you up at 6:30.”

  4. #4
    Zeralda is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She says she doesn't plan, but she does but doesn't realize it

    Quote Originally Posted by Abie23 View Post


    As for right now, I am thinking along the lines of texting her back and saying “Anyway, for Wednesday we’re going out. I’ll pick you up at 6:30.”
    Its better. I would skip the "Anyway" and go direct with "Wednesday we're..". Do try to include some humour and flirt in the line and you're good. All in all, keep it short and easy. Texting(in my opinion) should only be used to set up meetings.

  5. #5
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says she doesn't plan, but she does but doesn't realize it

    Quote Originally Posted by Abie23 View Post
    We do happen to text back and forth a good bit. Not a lot, but we exchange a few words. She has initiated texts with me in the past saying stuff like “its so cooooooooooold”

    The idea of “Sounds like fun, wanna take my shift” is a good reply.

    As for the part

    "ME: Just check to make sure you have nothing planned.
    ME: I got a surprise for that night.
    ME: Just make sure that you don't have any last minute plans."

    I did that because she already canceled on me once. Also, when we went out the 2nd time she texted me earlier in the day and said “I forgot I have to go to a friend’s shower.” Then she realized she made a mistake, and it was the next day. She has a habit of actually canceling last minute. She did it twice, but somehow we went out both days.

    It was ok to go out the first time she told you that she had plans(which apparently she doesn't do) but turned out in the end that she didn't,but the 2nd time you should have told her that you couldn't go because she already cancelled and you're out with some friends,don't lie,go out for real and have fun with your friends or alone.

    Don't let her be in charge,if she does this often,just let her know that she isn't fun and freeze her out,because it's what you really feel.


    Quote Originally Posted by Abie23 View Post
    As for right now, I am thinking along the lines of texting her back and saying “Wednesday - we’re going out. I’ll pick you up at 6:27.”
    See,what I did there ?

  6. #6
    Abie23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She says she doesn't plan, but she does but doesn't realize it

    Those are both great ideas. In fact, I sent that exact text message that you said. "Wednesday - we’re going out. I’ll pick you up at 6:27.”

  7. #7
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says she doesn't plan, but she does but doesn't realize it

    Abie raids reply may not be bad at all but you seemed to have gone for the meetup out of the blue which may affect you.build interest more.


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