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Thread: "let's stay friends" she says

  1. #1
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    Lightbulb "let's stay friends" she says

    I've been seeing a girl for 2 months. She called me (the day before my birthday) saying she wants to be friends as she was having difficulty adjusting to being in a relationship again. Her last was nearly 3 years long, but ended badly on account of her last bloke.

    Early on she said she didn't want to make things serious. I went along with it. However some of her actions go against this. She brought me over to meet her parents, twice. We both exchanged Christmas presents and she also got me something for my birthday. I don't know about you but if things are not serious you don't do these things. Or is it just me?

    We work together, quite closely. I go back to work Monday and she has requested that things go on without awkwardness. I obliged. How can I not? I'm seeing how things go with this. As she left me with a small silver lining. She said she does want to remain friends and still hang out with me. I hope to change her mind but I write this with it still feeling raw so I may change my mind on this also.
    PER ARDUA AD ALTA

  2. #2
    ninjabib is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: "let's stay friends" she says

    I would remain civil and polite of course but as for remaining friends? Nah i'd move on. She gets everything she needs Al,you get nothing you need.

  3. #3
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: "let's stay friends" she says

    In the book "The Game",by Neil Strauss,I don't remember who was giving an example of a response to a "let's be friends" proposal,but it went something along the lines of :

    "It's cool,but friends don't put each other in a box,they don't limit one another,but I promise not to do anything you won't agree on". Something like that.

    After that just follow what ninja said,remain civil and polite with every intention of moving on,it's hard to get out of the friend zone.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: "let's stay friends" she says

    It went south, face it nothing you can do to salvage. Ignoring her, getting mad at her, or any other tactic will be useless. There was actually a very old school rule called the 3 month rule. Back in the "Become a Player" days we had the 3 month rule where you give a girl 3 months of no contact whatsoever as far as romantic, hanging out, the like and re-engage like a new target. That is the only thing that works with a target that "nexts" you like this and no way to salvage so don't think ignoring her will help, being an A-hole, or being a Nice Guy, nothing can re-establish your value in her eyes. It's basically called the kiss of death or No Man's Land. "Let's stay friends." is a load of B.S. because you know she doesn't want to be friends she wants to NOT be friends as in NOT be romantic. The LJBF statement is not something actual such as "Let's just be friends." it literally means "let's not be friends." But again women are pros at putting guys down easy. She is just trying to get rid of you.

    Hey happens to us all but remember the 3 month rule. For instance I totally screwed my value up with the Cocktail Waitress from the Club who tried to pick me up while I was just using her to pump state and build social proof but I had no idea my warm ups and girls I use for social momentum would come on to me for just a Kino side hug! But it did I fell for it and hit her up on FB when I was drunk after I missed the window of fun time when she asked. But I am waiting 3 months to hit her up again and then going to try and actually game her next Summer using the 3 month rule I will try to dhv her and Social Proof her during Summer and at the end of Summer go for the close.

    Lastly there is nothing you did wrong other than be a Nice Guy. Buying her presents was the fun thing to do but sounds like you may have attached too much value to it judging by your viewpoint. She was wanting the fun guy and that was not you. I love this role play shift girls do. You want to hookup and she wants to date. You want to fool around and she wants to take it slow. You want to be in a serious relationship and she wants to have fun and hookup. Seems intially confusing and no way to crack the code. But wait we are missing one small key. Don't follow her program follow your own. Stick to the program. Have fun, hookup, and hang out. THIS IS THE PROGRAM (coined by Coach Corey Wayne). Never take it beyond having fun, hooking up, or hanging out. NEVER DEVIATE! If you are sticking to the program and being relationship outcome independant the girls are supposed to ask you to be exclusive because you are a high value guy with tons of hot chicks at his disposal and due to your high demand girls are insecure and therefore must lock you down since you are too high value to lock any one girl down. This is the way the dating game is properly played by any one MPUA. You have no need to be a needy AFC trying to lock some chick down to feel good about yourself. People get divorced everyday, don't attach value to the outcome as many are blindsided by "thinking" they locked a chick down and get heartbroken. Success is futile but self-improvement in oneself is ethereal. The moral of the story is you got serious on her, acted in scarcity mindset, not just having fun on fun dates, not hooking up or hooking up enough, and you were too much of a Nice Guy and she sensed it. I said it once and I'll say it again hot women have no time for Nice Guys.
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: "let's stay friends" she says

    Act like nothing happened when you see her. Stay civil, stay polite, just limit how much time you devote to her. As long as you appear unaffected and busy (both are equally important), she should begin to feel a sense of loss. There are tons of threads here related to getting out of the friend zone, and they follow a few basic principles:

    BE TOUCHY, BE BUSY, BE ALPHA

    So, escalate physically when you get a chance, don't be her crutch all the time for her problems, stay busy (third time's the charm), and don't make anything awkward. That's how I beat it, so maybe it'll work for you, too.
    Always leave her better than you found her.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: "let's stay friends" she says

    Dude, she blew it. If a girl lets you down like that just cut it. If you are really serious about pickup and being a better man you have better things to move on to.


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