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  • 1 Post By lilsting
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  • 1 Post By 2champ2

Thread: new gf has a lot of baggage, is it worth staying with her?

  1. #1
    2champ2 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default new gf has a lot of baggage, is it worth staying with her?

    So my new gf of about a month has been a real test of my patience to say the least. She is very sensitive, and has almost broke up with me at least 4 times already, for little to almost no reason. Example, she wanted to break up with me because I said her friend looked nice in a picture. Now she pulled a similar move over the weekend and I finally told her off and that she has insecurity issues and I wished her luck finding someone who could deal with all her bull sh*&.

    Now this girl is a virgin and hasn't been in many relationships herself, so i know the whole break up thing isn't because she's looking for other guys and I know she likes me a lot. So she texts me yesterday about how sorry she is and how she wants me back and all. She claims she's just really anxious and nervous about being in a relationship. So basically the ball is in my court as to whether or not I want to keep seeing her or not.

    Now I got into the relationship in the first place simply because I wanted to gain some experience and she seemed like a cool enough girl and she's about a 7. I also wanted to use the relationship as a way to improve my texting, Kino, kissing, sex and just overall ability to read women. I also wanted the relationship to boost my confidence and comfort level with women, which so far it has. I feel like if I can get all of those things out of the relationship its a big win for me.

    Now my question is whether or not its worth dealing with her baggage for now in order to pursue the goals I mentioned or is it better to get out now and back into the field. I should mention she does not put out at all, so far anyway. I want to get good at the physical end of the relationship so when I eventually manage to f close that 10 its not a one time thing because I was bad in bed. I'm really on the fence here 50/50 but I know its probably smart to leave her considering that she doesn't put out and clearly has some issues. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    lilsting's Avatar
    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: new gf has a lot of baggage, is it worth staying with her?

    Bullet point style list coming up:

    -Do you like her enough to be in a relationship with her? If yes, stay, if no, leave.

    -I'm not about using other people for personal gain. That's how people get hurt, and it makes the world a more farked up place.

    -You don't need to be in a relationship to get sex so take that out of your mind.

    -Internal vs External confidence: Using a relationship to bolster you up is an artificial confidence boost. It won't last, and you'll be back to square one. Let your confidence come from a place within. Let it come from a place of self-acceptance and knowing you have no reason NOT to be confident. You are 100% complete without a relationship.

    -I'm not going to date someone for personal gain. I date them because I genuinely like them. So how would you go about getting good at the physicality of dealing with a woman? Deal with more women. Kino everyone you meet. Go out and talk to people, go on dates, and have sex. Practice makes perfect.

    -Sure some women will only have sex with the people they're in a relationship with, but there are also plenty of women that don't need that commitment. No need to essentially lie just to build yourself up.

    I just typed whatever came to my head, so I'm sure I was redundancy This is my personal take on your situation, and how I'd go about dealing with things. I'm all about spreading love and happiness to essentially try to build a better world. I stay away from those who need to lie and manipulate for only the greater good of themselves.

  3. #3
    ThtNikkaGP is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: new gf has a lot of baggage, is it worth staying with her?

    honestly man if it was me i'd move on. life is to short to put up with someone else's bullshit. but then again it depends on how YOU feel about this girl. obviously she is insecure and has jealousy problems, and if shes not putting out that, for me at least, is a huge problem. have you tried escalating with her? if you did wat response did you get? while i dont think sex is everything in a relationship it is something very important, you dont want to be dating someone then find out your not compatible sexually when you finally do fark. and your goals can still be reached if you date other, more stable girls. in the end i say you should sit down with her and tell her your willing to give it one last try but you wont put up with anymore bullsh!t, if in a month (at most) things havnt changed then i'd break it off.

  4. #4
    LordAlp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: new gf has a lot of baggage, is it worth staying with her?

    I had a girlfriend like this for about 1 and a half year! I almost got crazy because of her. After she has total control over you, she will try to get everything by saying she want's to break up. Break up as soon as possible. I kept trying with her all because I loved her, like a stupid man. If she doesn't like something about you or you cannot cope with something that she is doing, end it. You won't regret it. Better go out and improve your PUA skills than throwing out the window your preciuos time.

    I beg you to end it with her!! :P

  5. #5
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    Default Re: new gf has a lot of baggage, is it worth staying with her?

    Ask yourself what are you going to learn by staying in a mediocre relationship with a virgin? Don't waste good energy on a bad relationship EVER.

    Escalating Kino, kissing, touching, building comfort, and having sex with a girl who doesn't have very much experience won't help you very much, if at all, compared to going out to game hundreds of girls over the next 3 months. You game will improve greatly by doing the latter of the two.

    Use your time wisely. If you do make hundreds of approaches you will become much MORE confident, you will learn to escalate kino better, you will be able to build comfort much more easily, most importantly you will get MORE SEX, BETTER SEX and you will get better at performing sex.

    You have a choice between taking two paths.Now, which path do you think is more appealing and which one will you take?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: new gf has a lot of baggage, is it worth staying with her?

    I agree with listing on this one. I want to add this however: She's your girlfriend yet you haven't slept with her yet? What the hell dude! I have never been in a relationship where I didn't sleep with the girl first. This even applies to the "women who won't sleep with a guy unless they are in a relationship type". I don't believe there is such a thing. If you decide to stay with this girl sleep with her already. If you're getting allot of LMR read my thread The Guide: Blasting through LMR that's located in the how to seduce a girl forum. Beware though, virgins are terrible in bed.

  7. #7
    2champ2 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: new gf has a lot of baggage, is it worth staying with her?

    lilsting - I really dont know if I like her enough, the whole no sex thing and her unreasonable behavior at times would make it hard for me to tolerate even with a girl I was crazy about. I think I just like having her around more so than I like her if that makes any sense. Shes my first gf since high school, im 24 so its been a while and its kind of nice having the attention and all that again. I get what youre saying about using people/her, i dont want to hurt the girl or use her in a way that would be harmful, I figured if we both get something out of the relationship, everybody wins. My concern is that I have very little relationship experience and I dont want to get good at game, manage to pick up that perfect 10 that is exactly the type of girl I am looking for, then not be able to keep her around because I am a lousy boyfriend or terrible in bed. Maybe I am over thinking it, I dont know.

    thatnikkajp - I have tried escalating, she is a very aggressive kisser and she gets really into it, but the second my hand goes down her pants or up her shirt thats that, she has LMR like crazy. She told me she wants to wait till shes married (she waited till after we started dating to tell me that by the way), I just figured I could get past that, but she seems pretty serious about it unfortunately which makes my patience for her bull sh*t much shorter. I am going to sit down with her and talk it out and see if we can get on the same page, but she really is going to have to convince me to keep her around, and there has to be some physical end to the relationship also.

    LordAlp - I probably am going to, but if when I talk to her she can convince me shes worth it, I may give her a couple more weeks and see if that LMR is really as unbreakable as it seems to be so far, and if she keeps up with her nasty ways. I definitely am not waiting a year and a half to find out though, shes got a very small time period to get me interested again.

    Dave - I agree with you, I really do, I know I really should break up with her, its just my AFC self is kind of reluctant to abandon my first real success since learning pick up, after only being with her for a little more than a month. I keep thinking maybe next time shes over I will get past that LMR or maybe she will stop being such a b*tch. Stupid I know lol, but I am very close to breaking it off with her. I actually deleted her entirely from my phone and everything when she pissed me off the other night, but she ended up texting me back yesterday or the day before, when ever it was, and now she has me considering it. Again, stupid, I know.

    DirectisBest - I have read it and I think it sounds great, I have tried stuff from on here, but I am telling you this girl has crazy LMR. Like she has the virgin thing keeping her from going, and I think she is just in general really nervous about it compared to other girls. I have been with virgins before and while I agree they aren't the best, I am not exactly winning any gold medals for sexual prowess myself lol so it hasnt bothered me too much in my experiences. I need to get better at sex honestly, I have never been told I am bad, but I dont think I have sex often enough to be considered good either, so i kind of just assume I probably am not the greatest lol. This concerns me because I want to be able to pick up the 8's 9's and 10's, but also keep them coming back for more and not just live off one night stands all the time. Thats what college and High school were for the most part for me, quite a few of one night stands which can be fun but also not the most reliable or consistent way to get laid.

    Thanks for the advice you guys and I apologize for my frustrating AFC ways on this one, some guys on here are probably reading this and thinking wow this guy is a f*cking idiot, and to them I say Hey I am trying, back off lol. I will post on here and let you guys know what happens when I sit down with her sometime in the next day or two. Hopefully she decideds to change her ways and have awesome make up sex, however I dont see that happening lol.

  8. #8
    2champ2 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: new gf has a lot of baggage, is it worth staying with her?

    update, officially done. We talked and she wanted to be together but not officially and wanted to get to know me more, and maybe see other people at the same time if I wanted, so I decided thats no good. Back to the field.

  9. #9
    sorosx is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: new gf has a lot of baggage, is it worth staying with her?

    I think all the forum members on this thread have given you solid advice. In my most recent relationship, I stayed a little longer than I should have done, I knew something was wrong but I stayed in the hope that it would improve and I believed in the potential of that which I believed to be true.

    However what I believe was potential was an ideal in my head, irrespective of what shed said I came to realize how I got played for a chump.

    I am happy that you have taken the good wisdom here and got out. I wish you well for all your pursuit may it be a rich experience in all ways.


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