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  1. #1
    Orange flower is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Can you guys give a lesbian some advice?

    Hi guys,
    I've been reading a bit about pua, kinda new to it, I'm sure it can apply to those who are attracted to the same sex too and I was wondering what you guys would do with this situation with this girl..

    So back in the fall I asked a girl out from one of my summer classes in university. We met only a few times and we got along really well. We are both girls, and she did not know my orientation and I didn't know hers. Anyways, she had made me extra notes and I sent her a message saying that I'd like to buy her a coffee in exchange for those, that I'd like to take her on a date. She never answered.

    So I concluded, she's obviously not interested if she isn't answering.

    But then, she kept personally inviting me to facebook events, to which even one I saw was the only one she invited. Then, for fun i invited her to this other campus event, to which again she'd invite me to another event. So we were kind of playing a game of facebook events invitations. Keep in mind this was going on the month after which she still has not answered my message.

    So I went to one of the campus events she invited me to. We had a pleasant conversation, laughed and finally I asked her straight up if she was a lesbian to which she shook her head and said she has a thing for guys. She then told me she didn't know if I meant it as friends or more when I sent her that message that's why she didn't answer. I thought I was pretty forward, we were never friends before, and I said date in the message.

    Anyway, later the next day, I sent her a simple message thanking her for the invitation and then said semi-jokingly that my door is open if ever she changes her mind about that date, with a little wink emoticon. So she never answered that, and I just moved on to other things.

    But a month after she invited me again to a campus event. She has over 1000 friends on facebook and I am amongst the only fifty she invites. I tried not to read into it, I just declined since I couldn't go and also it probably doesn't mean anything so there's no point that I go.

    Months later after that, just recently, I put a status on facebook about a poem and she likes it. Now I don't want to be reading too much into it, it's just a facebook like, but then again keep in mind we were never really friends, we are just mere acquaintances and she has never liked any statuses that I put on facebook in the past. Also, If I put myself in her shoes I wouldn't like someone's status if I know they are into me and they asked me out in the past and hardly know them and I'm not interested.

    And on top of that, a few days after that, she invites me to a campus event, again. I am amongst the close 40 she invites, out of a 1000 facebook friends she has. So she only chooses certain people to invite,

    Again, a few days ago she invited me again to another event! This time it's not a campus event. But at a bar. I was one of the the only ones she invited.

    Are these mixed signals? Am I right into thinking that these things above don't mean anything?

    What would you guys do? Go to the event? I haven't RSVP to any of them so far

    Thanks !

  2. #2
    Iamtheflow is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Can you guys give a lesbian some advice?

    Definitely go to the event! If she invited you as part of only a few friends then she clearly wants something to do with you. If only to hang out and be friends then fine. At least you're making progress and you get to be with someone you're attracted to.

  3. #3
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    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can you guys give a lesbian some advice?

    I would wipe her from my mind completely. She's not into women so what's the use sticking around?

  4. #4
    ninjabib is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give a lesbian some advice?

    Yeah i would just move on. She is not into women but there are plenty of more fish in the sea.

    Having sexual attention from another woman maybe a novelty for her and she could be inviting you because she loves the attention and the fact that you are chasing her if you accept her invites. Just my take.

  5. #5
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Can you guys give a lesbian some advice?

    Are these mixed signals? Am I right into thinking that these things above don't mean anything?

    What would you guys do? Go to the event? I haven't RSVP to any of them so far
    I do think you're reading in to these signals too much... she probably just wants to be friends with you. inviting someone out doesn't mean anything, especially considering that she invited 40 people, if it was just the 2 of you that would be different, but when she invites that many people she just wants people to come to the event. those are probably just her friends from the college.

    I know its easy to overthink little stuff like this especially when emotions are high and logic is low. she probably wants men and not woman.

    half your battle is going to be actually finding other lesbians who would be interested in you.you should probably try finding a group of other lesbians if you want to improve your chances. I've learned that there aren't that many people who are interested in a relationship to begin with (percentage wise only about 30% of the population is single and of age) and an even smaller number of those people will be homosexual.

    however you do have the advantage of living in a big city where that sort of thing is more common. odds are you could go on an online dating site and find plenty of others like you in your area.

  6. #6
    Orange flower is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give a lesbian some advice?

    Thanks for the Advice guys!

    What was leading me to start to overthink about this was because of the last event she invited me to a few days ago in which I am the only one she invited me to, and it's at a bar. Thing is it's not like we were friends before. We are just met a few times.

    In the past, I've had guys ask me out, and if I barely knew them and wasn't interested, some knew I was gay, I wouldn't purposely try to invite them anywhere or be friends with them or whatever, I would just let it be.

    I guess I'm not use to girls who aren't interested, who I barely know like this girl, to want to continue to see each other in some way. She clearly knows I'm into her, given the fact that the last message I sent her months ago to which she didn't reply was how my door is open if she ever changes her mind about that date with a wink.

    Part of me I don't want to go because I feel like its pointless. I don't want to waste my time and energy, and money, to briefly just say hi and chat for probably 10 min to some girl who doesn't want to date me. It's like getting to see candy but not being able to eat it.

    Another part of me thinks well I do want to see her, I haven't seen her in months. You never know, she could be curious and maybe just wants to get to know me in a friendly way first, or maybe she's just being nice and it's cool to get to know more people.

  7. #7
    Orange flower is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give a lesbian some advice?

    So I was thinking that either I :

    A) RSVP 'maybe' to one of the events she invited me to (the bar one) eventually. If I do I'm gonna wait a few more days to not appear excited anything like that.

    B) RSVP 'attending' to one of the events (the bar one) eventually about a few days or a week before to event occurs.

    C) ignore all her event invites and just let it be.

    D) ignore her event invites but poke her on facebook. I know poking is kind of silly but it's something I thought of, it just shows that I'm somehow acknowledging her, it puts the ball in her court; and breaks the ice, but at the same time it doesn't show that I'm running after her and going to her events.

    e) ignore her event invites but send her a message, but I don't know what I would say, something very short to see where the conversation leads.

    Anyhow, I try to put all the chances by my side, I'm on dating sites, and in real life I literally approach every girl I find attractive. I've approached girls in stores, malls, university, even on the street! I don't try to turn them gay or anything like that but basically I flirt with them, or ask them if they date girls and go from there. Going to lesbian bars is even easier because I already know they are into women.

  8. #8
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Can you guys give a lesbian some advice?

    if you go to the bar with her, go with low expectations, just hang out and have a good time. if she decides she wants to try homosexuality then you'll be in a good position to game her, by being one of her only lesbian friends.

    just don't get too attached to this girl, anything could happen. game other girls while you pursue this one. pursuing other woman will help you to stay non-needy.

  9. #9
    ninjabib is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can you guys give a lesbian some advice?

    Yes, only go to the bar expecting nothing to happen and willing to accept it more than likely will never be more than friendship and if you are genuinely happy with that then just go and enjoy yourself.

  10. #10
    Odlaw is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can you guys give a lesbian some advice?

    It doesnt matter whether you are a man or woman. The main points still apply. Be confident in who you are. Dont be clingy or needy. Dont expect anything from the women you are trying to game. It doesnt matter whether you get rejected by 20 girls in a row the next one could be the person you are meant to be with.
    Any of you guys in the Dayton Oh area let me know and we will sarge.


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